Corrupt a Wish

[miamisammy29]

Granted. Your private party with the Chippendale Dancers will start promptly at 7:00pm.

I want to catch the biggest marlin the world has ever seen.

[Jenny]

Granted. You just caught Marlon Brando.

I wish I lived someplace it was warm all year round

[Farin]

Granted! Death Valley is really a nice place to be

I wish I would do more sports

[Uncle Joe]

Granted, say hi to your date for the evening, Barry Bonds.

I wish I had a cheesesteak.

[miamisammy29]

Granted. Mmmmmm.....bovine spongiform encephalopathy.

I wish I had a Filet O' Fish sandwich.

[Crazy Don]

Mercury poisoning!

I wish I had a ham sandwich.

[miamisammy29]

Granted. And Shalom! to you and yours, Crazy Donowicz.

I want to own a fleet of luxury cars.

[Blue Fish]

Granted. Well done on killing the planet, now where you gonna drive 'em?

I wish I didn't need glasses.

[TheTallOne]

Now you're blind. Problem solved.

I wish life was simpler

[SoulGirl]

Granted. You are now a reclusive hermit living in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a cloth to cover your nether regions and a Barry Manilow song in your head.

I wish I could shift seven pounds in time for California bikini weather.

[TheLizard]

Granted. Those seven pounds are shifted to your thighs. You learn to watch the wording of your wishes.

I wish that I was out with my friends right now instead of stuck in the house feeling bored.

[Uncle Joe]

Granted, your friends have outed you. You learn to watch the wording of your wishes.

I wish I wasn't so darned good looking.

[Kevin]

Granted . Now you're one of Bush's closest advisors .

I wish N.Korea would just disappear .

[Blue Fish]

Granted. Your wish upset God and he got in such a huff he just squashed all of our tiny little planet.

I wish everyone could get on just fine with everyone and thing on earth.

[Uncle Joe]

Granted, but now what will you eat?

I wish Kevin would run for public office.

[miamisammy29]

Granted. In a stunning upset, Kevin has beaten the incumbent, John Street (D), and is the new mayor of Philadelphia. In the coming four years, citizens of the City of Brotherly Love should expect a surplus of obscure war references and indecipherable bits of sarcasm, and see a decrease in the availability of beer and liquor products.

I want - no...I NEED - a big bag of weed.

[Kevin]

Granted . Enjoy your dandelions .

I wish I were a professional golfer .

[miamisammy29]

Dandelions are NOT weeds, and don't let anyone tell you different!

I wish I were a professional golfer .

You are, and you have to play with the world's most expensive set of bent clubs.

I want to play in the World Series of Poker.

[Rayzor]

Granted! But you should have included a chip stack along with that wish...

I wish this computer worked properly

[Blue Fish]

Granted. Now it won't braake down until you need it for some work!

I wish I could have a never ending supply of divine chocolate.

[phil]

Granted. Welcome to Weight Watchers.

I wish clothes ironed themselves.

[Blue Fish]

Granted. Welcome to the special burns unit.

I wish Glass wasn't so sharp to pick up.

[Rayzor]

Granted. Your hands are calloused enough that glass will not pierce through... "Man hands!"

I wish my roomies cats would drop dead so they would quit bugging me

[Uncle Joe]

Granted, they crawled into an unreachable space and died and now the stench is just killing you.

I wish I could walk on water.

[skybluesky]

You now have a cast from slipping on ice and breaking your leg

I wish I were a sexy babe