MarcM Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 Take my wife..........please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 A man goes to a doctor and the doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man asks "Why?" The doctor says "So I can begin the examination." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted April 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 My neighbor just had a circular driveway put in, but now he can't get out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row." -- Steven Wright Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box makred "Electronic cat and dog caller"--guaranteed to work." I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 I'm so glad I don't have to do "dating". My mate Jeff is down-hearted, because he messed up a blind-date again. It was all going fine until, during the meal, she said "So, what's your pet hate?". With a second's thought, he replied, "It doesn't like having things shoved up its backside". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockyRaccoon Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 I know a guy who was born via C-Section. He's not weird, just whenever he leaves the house he uses the window -Steven Wright Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lea Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 A businesswoman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. “Hi, honey,†he says. “Want a little company?†“Why?†asks the woman? “Do you have one to sell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 I'm eating chocolate with nuts... but I prefer it with normal friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lea Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 (edited) I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. Edited April 27, 2010 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 I like rice. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something. ~Mitch Hedberg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lea Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 Gawd. The things we resort to when we're bored~Lea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 I've always been intrigued with pessimists and optimists. I remember once I was atop of the Sears Tower, Chicago, USA. Well, someone jumped off and I heard an onlooker say, "OMG!!!, that person's dead." I thought, "not yet." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad_M Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Buncha Hi-jackers. The jokes thread already exists. You can find it here: The Jokes Thread - Relaunched Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 I was gonna say almost the exact same thing, Brad. But I figured I'd say something , regardless. BTW, who said I was joking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Buncha Hi-jackers. The jokes thread already exists. You can find it here: The Jokes Thread - Relaunched I know where the Jokes thread is, mate. But sometimes a joke works better when it's slipped into the conversation naturalistically. If you put up a sign saying "Listen, people: I am about to tell a joke", it can lose its impact. Anyway, the "Doctor" gag which started off that joke-athon was a "Random Thought" at the time. We probably all knew we were posting on the wrong thread, but, hey, as acts of rebellion go it wasn't the most bloodthirsty, was it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 It was surely a random outburst of bad jokes and quite fitting for this thread.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad_M Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Ok, then, I think I'll randomly nominate: "Dr. Feelgood" - Motley Crue "The Doctor" - The Doobie Brothers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Good tunes, Dude. I'll vote for both of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lea Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Hell this thread got more posts in one day then it usually does in a week. I see no harm done. Fun is rarely harmful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Fun is rarely harmful Unless you're playing football at the edge of a cliff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 1. Dr. Feelgood 2. The Doctor 3. "???"...hey wait just a minute.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Ok, then, I think I'll randomly nominate: "Dr. Feelgood" - Motley Crue "The Doctor" - The Doobie Brothers include years , please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Seeker Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Only songs written before May 16th, 1731 can be nominated this round, sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farin Posted April 29, 2010 Report Share Posted April 29, 2010 Brandenburg Concertos No 2, First Movement: Allegro Moderato Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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