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The Jokes Thread - Relaunched


Farin
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fORCE OF HABBIT. aT WORK, i HAVE TO TYPE IN CALLS FOR SERVICE IN CAP. iF i TAKE THE KEYBOARD OFF OF CAPS, i MIGHT FORGET TO PUT IT BACK ON WHEN NEEDED AND TYPE IN A WHOLE CALL IN LOWER CASE, CREATING A DELAY SINCE i WOULD HAVE TO RETYPE. sORRY.

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Brazil's anthemn is mainly filled with references to its incredible environmental beauty (totally understandable.) Surprised there are no references to people partying. There is that nod to its acquisition of independence from Portugal, "If with strong arm we have succeeded/In winning a pledge of equality ..."

And toward the end there is a surprisingly militaristic reference (probably meant as a warning to Argentina and Bolivia, who have always wanted a piece of Brazil)

"But if the mighty sword of

justice is drawn forth,

You will perceive your children,

who adore you,

neither fear to fight,

nor flee from death itself."

Knowing Brasileiros, the above referenced fighting would have to be scheduled to not conflict with any one of Brazil's monthly three or four day holiday weekends OR during the week between Christmas and New Year when everything shuts down and everyone congregates on the beaches OR during the week of Carnaval OR any period of time they are still alive in a World Cup OR ....

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Getting back on track...

Politics Made Simple

Do you have trouble understanding politics? If so, the following primer (thanks to the Manitoban - University of Manitoba) should clear it up for you. No bull.

Socialism - You have two cows. Give one to your neighbour.

Communism - You have two cows. Give both to the government.

The government gives you milk.

Capitalism - You sell one cow and buy a bull.

Facism - You have two cows. Give milk to the government.

The government sells it.

Nazism - The government shoots you and takes the cows.

New Dealism - The government shoots one cow, milks the other,

and pours the milk down the sink.

Anarchism - Keep the cows. Steal another one.

Shoot the government.

Conservatism - Freeze the milk. Embalm the cows.

Liberalism - Give away one cow. Get the government to

give you a new cow. Now give them both away.

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