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40 Most Awesomely Bad Dirrty Songs

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I was watching one of the music channels tonight and came across a program "40 Most Awesomely Bad Dirrty Songs", the kind of songs that are made with the idea of making you wanna get 'down and dirty', but actually turn you off in the process!

40) Sugar Walls - Sheena Easton

39) Oops (Oh My) - Tweet

38) Lick It Up - Kiss

37) Knockin' Da Boots - H-Town

36) Downtown - SWV

35) My Love Is Like...Wo - Mya

34) Sex Bomb - Tom Jones

33) C'mon N' Ride It (The Train) - Quad City DJ's

32) Freek'n You - Jodeci

31) Tease Me, Please Me - Scorpions

30) Whoomp! (There It Is) [House Mix] - Tag Team

29) Bump, Bump, Bump - B2K

28) I Want Action - Poison

27) Dip It Low - Christina Milian

26) Cradle of Love - Billy Idol

25) Come Baby Come [Radio Edit] - K7

24) Let's Ride - Montell Jordan

23) Figured You Out - Nickelback

22) I Touch Myself - The Divinyls

21) Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? - Rod Stewart

20) She Blew My Mind (69 Times) - Rick James

19) Splash Waterfalls - Ludacris

18) The Stroke - Billy Squier

17) Tonight - Da Band

16) F*cK Me for Free - Akinyele

15) Let's Put the X in Sex - Kiss

14) Peaches & Cream - 112

13) Pretty Mess - Vanity

12) She Bangs - Ricky Martin

11) My Neck, My Back (Lick It) - Khia

10) Honey Love - R. Kelly

9) Touch Me (I Want Your Body) - Samantha Fox

8) Pony - Ginuwine

7) Naughty Naughty - John Parr

6) Do Me! - Bell Biv Devoe

5) How Many Licks? - Lil' Kim

4) Can I Touch You...There? [Album Version] - Michael Bolton

3) Get Naked - Methods of Mayhem

2) I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd

1) Physical - Olivia Newton-John

So, with this list in mind (which actually a few of them do it for me in a goooood way), what other ones just don't do the job for you, it could be the lyrics, or just the beat, or maybe the video?

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Everybody here should be ashamed of not getting me this list of smutty songs sooner. Here's Cracked Actor by Bowie:

Cracked Actor

Written by - David Bowie

I've come on a few years from my Hollywood highs

The best of the last, the cleanest star they ever had

I'm stiff on my legend, the films that I made

Forget that I'm fifty cause you just got paid

Chorus:

Crack, baby, crack, show me you're real

Smack, baby, smack, is that all that you feel

Suck, baby, suck, give me your head

Before you start professing that you're knocking me dead

You caught yourself a trick down on Sunset and Vine

But since he pinned you baby you're a porcupine

You sold me illusions for a sack full of checks

You've made a bad connection 'cause I just want your sex

Chorus

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how about "doctor dick" (i think that's what it was called), i don't think i'd be allowed to post the lyrics, but the chorus went something like this (i won't blame you if you delete this post)

"Come on, please help me doctor Dick

I need your love, I feel so sick

I need a kick and you're so big

Oh doctor, please, deep, deep, deeper

Help me doctor Dick

My fever's rising, please come quick

I know you know a little trick

Oh, doctor, please, deep, deep, deeper"

and the other one not included in this list is "sweat a la long" which i love when i was little without realising how dirty it is. the chorus was

"Girl I want to make you sweat

Sweat till you can't sweat no more

And if you cry out

I'm gonna push it some, more, more"

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I hate hate hate that 'My Neck, My Back' by Khia. That song really, really turns me off. :thumbsdown:

I never knew 'The Stoke' by Billy Squire was about what it's about :o

And that video clip of KISS doing 'Lick It Up' was bloody awful!!!!

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That song "I'll Make Love To You" by Boyz II Men. I don't know...it sounds too perfect, too unemotional. I prefer more emotive singing, even if it's not perfect.

I think Billy Idol's Cradle of Love is a good song, as well as his cover of "To Be A Lover".

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"I'm Your Gun" ~ Alice Cooper, it's a great song, but it doesn't turn me on!

I?m dressed in black

I?m a heart attack

And my draw is lightning quick

If you?re looking for a man with

Magic hands

I can really do the trick

And if you see me on the street

And you?re burnin? from the heat

There?s a fire down below

You be the target on the bed

I?ll be shootin? hot lead

Let me take control

You?re a scared little girl in this

Big, bad town

So easy to sink, so easy to drown

Pull my trigger, I get bigger

Then I?m lots of fun

I?m your gun

I?m your gun, gun, gun

Bite my bullet

Push and pull it

Tell me I?m the one

I?m your gun

I?m your gun, gun, gun

Hold on steady, always ready,

Yeah

Well, I?m as hard as they come

I?m a hit and run

I?m a pistol packin? boy

Better walk real slow

I?m on the edge, y?know

And I?m easily annoyed

If something?s giving you trouble

I?ll be there on the double

Just call me on the line

I?ve got a muscle I can flex

It?ll fog your little specs

Till you think you?re going blind

I know these streets like the scars

On my back

And I stay as loaded as this gun

On my back

Pull my trigger, I get bigger

Then I?m lots of fun

I?m your gun

I?m your gun, gun, gun

Bite my bullet

Push and pull it

Tell me I?m the one

I?m your gun

I?m your gun, gun, gun

Squeeze it tighter

Aim and fire, yeah

Hold on steady, always ready,

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Pull my trigger, I get bigger

Then I?m lots of fun

I?m your gun

I?m your gun, gun, gun

Rub my barrel

Straight and narrow

Dress up like a nun

I?m your gun

I?m your gun, gun, gun

Load my clip and lick your lips

This is gettin? fun

I?m your gun

I?m your gun, gun, gun

Hold on steady

Always ready, yea

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Here's "La La" by Ashlee Simpson. It's dirty, and it's a terrible song. It's really funny though, coming from Ashlee Simpson.

You can dress me up diamonds

You can dress me up in dirt

You can throw me like a line-man

I like it better when it hurts

Oh, I have waited here for you

I have waited

You make me wanna la la

in the kitchen on the floor

I'll be a french maid

When I meet you at the door

I'm like an alley cat

Drink the milk up, I want more

You make me wanna

You make me wanna scream

You can meet me on an aero-plane

Or in the back of the bus

You can throw me like a boomerang

I'll come back and beat you up

Oh, I have waited here for you

Dont, keep me waiting

You make me wanna la la

in the kitchen on the floor

I'll be a french maid

When I meet you at the door

I'm like an alley cat

Drink the milk up, I want more

You make me wanna

You make me wanna la la

in the kitchen on the floor

I'll be a french maid

When I meet you at the door

I'm like an alley cat

Drink the milk up, I want more

You make me wanna

You make me wanna scream

I feel safe with you

I can be myself tonight

It's alright, with you

Cuz you hold, my secrets tight

You do, You do

You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la

la la

You make me wana la la, la la la la

You make me wanna la la

in the kitchen on the floor

I'll be a french maid

When I meet you at the door

I'm like an alley cat

Drink the milk up, I want more

You make me wanna

You make me wanna la la

in the kitchen on the floor

I'll be a french maid

When I meet you at the door

I'm like an alley cat

Drink the milk up, I want more

You make me wanna

You make me wanna scream

You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la

la la

You make me wana la la, la la la la

You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la

la la

You make me wana la la, la la la la

You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la

la la

You make me wana la la, la la la la

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Anyone remember this little ditty by Romeo Void called "Never Say Never?"

If time itself was his demeanor

There?d be no sunlight or a glimmer

Of sunlight landin on the street

Sunsuit girls must be discreet

Sunsuit girls must be discreet

Nursing their fathers locked inside

They masqueraded as his bride

I might like you better

If we slept together

But there?s somethin

In your eyes that says

Maybe that?s never

Never say never

The slump by the courthouse

With windburn skin

That man could give a f***

About the grin on your face

As you walk by, randy as a goat

He's sleepin on papers

When he'd be warm in your coat

I might like you better

If we slept together

But there?s somethin

In your eyes that says

Maybe that?s never

Never say never

There?s no easy way to lose your sight

On the street, on the stairs

Who's on your flight

Old couple walks by, as ugly as sin

But he?s got her and she?s got him

Never say never

romvoid2.jpg

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AC stations still play "Makin' Me High" by Toni Braxton, and it is filthy:

I?ll always think of you

Inside of my private thoughts

I can imagine you

Touching my private parts

With just the thought of you

I can?t help but touch myself

That?s why I want you so bad

Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually thinks about the lyrics to these songs, or if most people let them float on by into the ether of Soft Rock background music.

Is The Stroke really about what you're saying? Someone get Billy Squier on the line so we can ask him. :laughing:

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Back when John & Yoko were in the news, a university pub's jukebox had this song listed: "Baby Let Me Bang Your Box" by Yoko Ono. When the song was selected, I think "Bottle of Wine" performed by the Fireballs played instead. I did think that this was the raunchiest title I'd heard of as the 1960's gave way to the 1970's =:P

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She seriously sings that???!!! That's filthy!!!

:stars:

I was also surprised! It is filthy enough with the wanting more milk, but did she have to say she drinks it up? Another memorable line is "You can throw me like a linebacker, I like it better when it hurts" it's something like that, I'm not sure if its the lyrics exactly.

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I always thought "Sugar Walls" by Sheena Easton was filthy. She was so sweet before Prince got to her.

Temperatures rise inside my sugar walls.

Come spend the night inside my sugar walls.

Heaven on earth inside my sugar walls.

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, Sheena?

:googly: :googly: :googly: :googly: :googly:

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