Jump to content

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.6k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted (edited)

Oh, stop that, Shawna. You ARE mildly intelligent.

:afro: :afro: :afro: :jester:

When I read this I laughed way too hard! Sammy needs his own stand-up act... :laughing:

A billion dollars? Granted.

With the rate of inflation you can now afford to get 2 super-size Big Mac meals.

I wish I had a wife and kids.

Edited by Guest
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Congratulations, ex-GRU assassin "Alexander Zalachenko," you have twin daughters by Agneta Sofia Salander, whom you regularly have sex with and nearly beat to death. Oops, Agneta didn't take that last beating too well, and here comes fesity daughter Lisbeth, to serve you a lit Molotov cocktail!

I wish I had a million dollars!

(George Bailey of "It's A Wonderful Life.")

  • 6 months later...
Posted

Granted

Here is Rick Allen's (Def Leppard) 'Vette he drove off the road and through a wall.

I wish people wouldn't corrupt my wishes

Posted

Granted. You are now forced to watch, for ten days straight, 24 hours a day, with your eyes pinned open, the remake of "Animal House" starring Jaden Smith, Justin Beiber, two of the Jonas Brothers, and introducing Taylor Hicks as Dean Vernon Wormer.

I wish baseball season started today.

:afro: :afro: :afro: :jester:

Posted

Granted.

Season games are now being evenly divided between the remaining continents and you are given lifetime 50-yard line passes to all away games provided you provide your own transportation.

I wish that someone would find a cure for the common cold.

Posted

Granted... here's a Colt .45 and a full chamber. When you feel a sneeze coming point the barrel up your nose and start pulling the trigger.

I wish I had a new PS3

Posted

Granted -and within a week PS4 comes out which is WAY better in every sense , and leaves you muttering in discontent at your new piece of 'junk '.

I wish my wife would use this stupid Wii Fit that I got her for Christmas and she promised to try regularly .

Posted

Granted.

She now uses the Wii Fit so regularly, she looks like this:

Anorexic.jpg

I wish I could foresee events and witness past events in my dreams like Allison DuBois does in the TV show, Medium.

  • 2 months later...
Posted

Granted.

Like the TV series, you have 7 seasons to live.

I wish I could find stuff for people like Walter Sherman does on the TV series "The Finder".

Posted

Granted

Your phone machine is inundated with calls from old people asking "Where are my teeth?" and "Where'd I put my glasses?"

I wish I had a bucket of fried chicken.

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...