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Corrupt a Wish


MuzikTyme

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Granted. Citing obscure Alaska national regulations, Gov. Sarah Palin is now in command of troops in Baghdad. Using Steve Jobs' celebrated "Reality Distortion Field," former big time CEOs turn in their Golden Parachutes to the U.S. Treasury, AND begin to pay taxes! However, this is not quite enough to cover the situations, so the Obama administration backs a "nuclear waste into Gold" plan at the CERN super collider. Flipping the switch creates a time warp...and it's 1953 once more!

I wish everyone here a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

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Granted, X-mas comes so early that global warming gives way to global frost, as blizzard-like snow and subzero temperatures usher in a worldwide premature winter. In an effort to stave off disaster before his term even begins, President-elect Obama crosses the aisle and appoints Sarah Palin as Secretary of Arctic Conditions, and she immediately receives a Divine revelation to declare war on Canada. (Sorry CanAm. :puppyeyes: )

I wish I could fall asleep instead of being hooked on this addictive SF web site.

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Granted. The new White House janitor with a "Obama" name tag finds the whole place is falling apart, needing Hercules to make things right. Unfortunately the only "Hercules" available is a female WWE rassler currently on national guard duty in Iraq. The janitor wisely concludes that the only thing to do is quietly "put in his twenty" and retire while Social Security and Medicare are still partially funded. With the President-Elect missing, VP-Elect Biden briefly takes the reins of government. Then he meets the janitor and opts for the blue collar life. Nancy Pelosi ascends to office, finds it disgusting/broken, and hands it off to Hillary Clinton. And that's how "Bubba Bill" becomes "the biggest breeder" in Washington D.C.

I wish that the Mayan calendar is wrong about the world ending in 2012.

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Granted. Welcome to opening day of the Arena Baseball League, played on a field the size of a hockey rink, with 50-foot high plexiglas walls all around and balls off the wall on all sides being in play. The Des Moines Demons were leading the Oshkosh B'gosh 150-149, when the game was suspended ... in the 3rd inning ... by Commissioner Pete Rose ... on account of he bet on the final score being under 300 total runs.

I wish Barack Obama would really have a seance in the White House.

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Granted. Martin Luther King Jr. is summoned, and there's a famliy quarrel over mismanagement, misappropriations of funds, etc. By accident, Ronald Reagan shows up and does a road company version of "The Defiant Ones" with President Obama. Hellboy is called in to deal with the spirits, only to result in ruins where the White House was, as HB chomps on Baby Ruth candy bars.

I wish that the Detroit Big Three automakers come out with "green automobiles" before Toyota starts measuring them for a hostile takeover.

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Granted. Armed turkeys gather outside your place, praising Allah for granting them a chance to avenge years on the platter. Then armed Geese show up, praising Jehovah for a chance to avenge years of Christmas dinners. Things get ugly when armed pigs show up praising Buddha for...you know what. Weapons are discharged, your place is reduced to rubble, along with the rest of the neighborhood.

I wish rich kids' Christmas wishes are granted...for poorer kids to sell for their next square meal or two.

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