Otokichi Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Granted. Citing obscure Alaska national regulations, Gov. Sarah Palin is now in command of troops in Baghdad. Using Steve Jobs' celebrated "Reality Distortion Field," former big time CEOs turn in their Golden Parachutes to the U.S. Treasury, AND begin to pay taxes! However, this is not quite enough to cover the situations, so the Obama administration backs a "nuclear waste into Gold" plan at the CERN super collider. Flipping the switch creates a time warp...and it's 1953 once more! I wish everyone here a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberjudge Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Granted, X-mas comes so early that global warming gives way to global frost, as blizzard-like snow and subzero temperatures usher in a worldwide premature winter. In an effort to stave off disaster before his term even begins, President-elect Obama crosses the aisle and appoints Sarah Palin as Secretary of Arctic Conditions, and she immediately receives a Divine revelation to declare war on Canada. (Sorry CanAm. ) I wish I could fall asleep instead of being hooked on this addictive SF web site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Granted, but both are likely to take at least 20 months. I wish Obama could take office today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otokichi Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 (edited) Granted. The new White House janitor with a "Obama" name tag finds the whole place is falling apart, needing Hercules to make things right. Unfortunately the only "Hercules" available is a female WWE rassler currently on national guard duty in Iraq. The janitor wisely concludes that the only thing to do is quietly "put in his twenty" and retire while Social Security and Medicare are still partially funded. With the President-Elect missing, VP-Elect Biden briefly takes the reins of government. Then he meets the janitor and opts for the blue collar life. Nancy Pelosi ascends to office, finds it disgusting/broken, and hands it off to Hillary Clinton. And that's how "Bubba Bill" becomes "the biggest breeder" in Washington D.C. I wish that the Mayan calendar is wrong about the world ending in 2012. Edited November 6, 2008 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberjudge Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Granted. It will end on January 19, 2009 when W gives the world his final sendoff by launching weapons of mass destruction. I wish that the Mayan empire can be restored to its former glory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted November 7, 2008 Report Share Posted November 7, 2008 Granted. You and your new puppy are the first to be sacrificed on the opulent gold altar. I wish it was baseball season again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberjudge Posted November 8, 2008 Report Share Posted November 8, 2008 Granted. Welcome to opening day of the Arena Baseball League, played on a field the size of a hockey rink, with 50-foot high plexiglas walls all around and balls off the wall on all sides being in play. The Des Moines Demons were leading the Oshkosh B'gosh 150-149, when the game was suspended ... in the 3rd inning ... by Commissioner Pete Rose ... on account of he bet on the final score being under 300 total runs. I wish Barack Obama would really have a seance in the White House. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otokichi Posted November 10, 2008 Report Share Posted November 10, 2008 Granted. Martin Luther King Jr. is summoned, and there's a famliy quarrel over mismanagement, misappropriations of funds, etc. By accident, Ronald Reagan shows up and does a road company version of "The Defiant Ones" with President Obama. Hellboy is called in to deal with the spirits, only to result in ruins where the White House was, as HB chomps on Baby Ruth candy bars. I wish that the Detroit Big Three automakers come out with "green automobiles" before Toyota starts measuring them for a hostile takeover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberjudge Posted November 10, 2008 Report Share Posted November 10, 2008 Granted. Ford, GM & Chrysler agree that they will support the environment by painting all of their automobiles green. Of course, they will continue to burn 100% environmentally toxic fossil fuels. I wish the Obamas' new puppy would bite W's dog Barney. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted November 10, 2008 Report Share Posted November 10, 2008 Granted. Dubya's dog catches rabies and runs over to your house and bites you as an act of revenge for wishing it to happen. I wish I had an infinity of anything I ever wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floydaholic Posted November 10, 2008 Report Share Posted November 10, 2008 Granted. Your wish is so perfect that the universe implodes on itself in confusion. I wish that college didn't suck so badly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted November 10, 2008 Report Share Posted November 10, 2008 Granted, but now where're ya gonna go for suck? I wish it was almost Thanksgiving Day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otokichi Posted November 11, 2008 Report Share Posted November 11, 2008 (edited) Granted. Armed turkeys gather outside your place, praising Allah for granting them a chance to avenge years on the platter. Then armed Geese show up, praising Jehovah for a chance to avenge years of Christmas dinners. Things get ugly when armed pigs show up praising Buddha for...you know what. Weapons are discharged, your place is reduced to rubble, along with the rest of the neighborhood. I wish rich kids' Christmas wishes are granted...for poorer kids to sell for their next square meal or two. Edited November 11, 2008 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otokichi Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 It looks like the last wish was too hard to slice. Here's another one: I wish that the Super Bowl teams really had to play "Football"! (Known as "Soccer" in the U.S.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted February 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Granted! Though they call it Fútbol everywhere else. I wish I wasn't so smart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted February 1, 2009 Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 Granted.......again! I wish I didn't have to say that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted February 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2009 lol I wish I could meet Uncle Joe IRL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lea Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Granted. But he's really only 12 and his bed time is 8pm unless he sneaks online after the parents turn in I wish everyone could just get along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Granted...oops, you're smack dab in the middle of the LA riots. Duck!! I wish some things had never happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Granted, George W. was never our president.....but then we wouldn't have Obama now. I wish it were Spring already! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted February 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 I wish it was Spring already! Granted . . . because it is, somewhere! I wish there was no such thing as Santa Claus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Granted! From this day forward he'll be known simply as St. Nick. I wish there was a star to wish upon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted February 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Granted! But Jimminy Cricket will momentarily have a massive feeling of loss. I wish that Jesus never swatted a fly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Granted. He'll hit nothing but ground balls from now on. I wish I could be forgiven for my tresspasses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted February 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Granted. But I request your assistance in accompanying me to remove all of my no tresspassing signs in my forest. I wish that I had every wish for ever and ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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