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  • 2 weeks later...
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Posted

Granted.

The silicone in your girlfriend's breast implant has been replaced with so much water, they hang low, resembling a decomposing watermelon.

I wish I could run as fast as the six million dollar man.

Posted

Granted. You decide to take your skill to the streets and run along with traffic. You run a red light and get side swiped by an oncoming vehicle.

I wish I had more time in the day.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Granted!

Your war-crazed country just blasted Syria off the map so the government (in their infinite wisdom) think attacking every country remaining is the next logical step & will need all able-bodied citizens on board... here are your draft papers. :)

I wish I could cook! (dang fire alarm) :doh:

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Granted.

You've just been demoted to chief pooper scooper for the circus.

You can talk to the animals all day long while you're cleaning up their crap.

If you're lucky, they may even talk back to you.

I wish I had psychokinetic powers.

  • 3 weeks later...
  • 6 months later...
Posted

Granted. All stadiums are now required to remove the bleachers so that all fans are at ground level.

I wish I could travel back in time to see what the world was like when Dinosaurs roamed the Earth.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Granted. Your new name is Steven Spielberg, a Triceratops comes forward through time, you kill it and now everyone hates you.

I wish that the lawn would mow itself.

  • 1 month later...

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