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I don't think Farin was serious, he was just quoting a song...

I still have a hard time believing that there won't be any evil in heaven if that's where we go, and which I'm not that sure of, but everyone can believe what they want, and I'm aware that religious discussions can get rather emotional, so I'm off to lunch now.


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Okay, sorry Farin, I'm a bit serious when it comes to God!! :crazy: :P RANDOM LIST!!!

Ten rules of Gun Safety.

10) always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction, such as at a hippy or a communist.

9) Dumb children may get hold of your gun and shoot each other. If your children are dumb put them up for adoption and protect your guns.

8) No matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey.

7) If guns make you nervous drink a bottle of whiskey before going onto the range. A nervous gunner is a nervous gun.

6) When unholstering your weapon, it’s customary to say “excuse me while I whip this outâ€.

5) Don’t load your gun unless you are ready to shoot something or are angry.

4) If you gun misfires, NEVER look down the barrel to inspect it. That’s what friends are for.

3) Never use your gun to pistol whip someone, That could mar the finish.

2) No matter how excited you are at getting your first gun, do not run around yelling “I have a gun! I have a gun!â€

1) And the most important rule of gun safety: Don’t hack me off!

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Can't find the joke thread anywhere . Was it deleted ? Anyway here's a cute one with a Canadian flavor ( though it's likely made the rounds using other cities / states /provinces /countries ... etc . ) . I 'm originally from Saskatchewan , BTW ...

Three Men and Their New Wives

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their

new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Newfoundland,

and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes

and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a

couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the

dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from British Columbia . He bragged that

he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes,

and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any

results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was

clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Saskatchewan Girl. He boasted that he told her

that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed,

laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the

first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything,

but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a

little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the

dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.

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My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

1.Always avoid alliteration.

2.Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3.Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

4.Employ the vernacular.

5.Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6.Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7.It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8.Contractions aren't necessary.

9.Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10.One should never generalize.

11.Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

12.Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13.Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14.Profanity sucks.

15.Be more or less specific.

16.Understatement is always best.

17.Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

18.One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19.Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20.The passive voice is to be avoided.

21.Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

22.Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

23.Who needs rhetorical questions?

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