RonJonSurfer Posted July 15, 2014 Report Posted July 15, 2014 A giraffe walks into a bar and says "The high balls are on me".
_Laurie_ Posted July 16, 2014 Report Posted July 16, 2014 What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.... I think I'm in the wrong thread...
Shawna Posted July 16, 2014 Report Posted July 16, 2014 What is the Jolly Green Giant most afraid of? An avocado picker.
Rayzor Posted July 16, 2014 Report Posted July 16, 2014 Yep. Completely Laurie's fault. She's simply gone nuts.
Carl Posted July 17, 2014 Report Posted July 17, 2014 Saw this in Esquire: A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. The bartender gives it to her.
RonJonSurfer Posted July 17, 2014 Report Posted July 17, 2014 A horse walks into a bar and the bartender say "Why the long face?"
CanAm Posted July 17, 2014 Report Posted July 17, 2014 For sale: parachute. Only used once, never opened.
Zabadak Posted July 18, 2014 Report Posted July 18, 2014 A horse walks into a bar and the bartender say "Why the long face?" A bear walks into a bar and asks for "A pint of beer and.................... .............a bag of crisps, please." The bartender says "OK, but why the huge pause?" :sing1:
andy7 Posted July 18, 2014 Report Posted July 18, 2014 A bear walks into a bar and asks for "A pint of beer and.................... .............a bag of crisps, please." The bartender says "OK, but why the huge pause?" :sing1: A time traveler walks into a bar for the first time and orders a drink last week.
CanAm Posted July 18, 2014 Report Posted July 18, 2014 A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food in here."
RonJonSurfer Posted July 18, 2014 Report Posted July 18, 2014 A time traveler walks into a bar for the first time and orders a drink last week. A rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says "sorry we dont serve ropes here." So the rope disappointedly leaves, but returns later and again orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and repeats that they do not serve ropes there. So the rope goes outside, ties himself into a knot and beats himself against a wall. He then goes back into the bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says"arent you the rope who came in earlier?", and the rope says"no, I`m a frayed knot"
Jenny Posted September 30, 2014 Report Posted September 30, 2014 Someone asked me today if I had hit my 40's yet. When I told her I was 43, she said, "Oh, you look 38!" THAT really sweetened my coffee :sing1:
Shawna Posted September 30, 2014 Report Posted September 30, 2014 someone yesterday gave me a senior discount without my even asking. Jeff noticed it. After he went off to get our drinks, I whispered, "It's because of him, right?" She just laughed and said, "I just thought anyone would appreciate a discount these days."
RonJonSurfer Posted December 24, 2014 Report Posted December 24, 2014 Merry Christmas to each and every SF'er...Here's my little gift...a reminder to listen to the funkiest little Christmas song ever by James Brown. It's hard to listen to it and not feel happy (and to wonder how much James had to drink before recording). The man was wonderful:
edna Posted December 25, 2014 Report Posted December 25, 2014 Merry Christmas, Songfactors! Thank you for the days...
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