What grinds your gears then?

[Floydaholic]

It wasn't much, but it was right in front of my eyes, it's more of the principle behind it, they betrayal of trust, you know? I only realised later on.

[Ombre Vivante]

Too true !

The best job I ever had was being a gas jockey at a busy highway filling station / restaurant /hotel . Busy so the time flew ; easy ; interesting/ strange people , and fairly low expectations and responsibilities all around ( except for the cash , of course ) . Shame it didn't pay better or I'd still be there ...

I was jobless for 8 months and I loved every minute of it. I saved up enough money in different things to last for months without working. I could probably do another 6-8 month stretch without doing any actual work (although that would reeeeeeeally stretch me financially). I'd have to give up a lot of the luxuries I take for granted.

After going on a few underground tank inspections and finding out the deleterious physiological effects that comes of working around petrol (those old additives: lead, mtbe), I wince at the thought of working around the stuff.

[Ombre Vivante]

Well, I´ve told some (white) lies to some friends -not much- but I would never steal from a friend...

I lie all the time. Usually, it's to appease customers. I smile and smile and smile and joke around and smile some more for them. Then, I go to the office and let 'er rip. They don't even know what hit 'em I find it better to smile and laugh than to be confrontational and combative with people. They're all gonna get it one way or the other in the end

[Shawna]

I only suspected this recently, do you wanna here why?

Indeed. Do tell!

[edna]

I lie all the time. Usually, it's to appease customers. I smile and smile and smile and joke around and smile some more for them. Then, I go to the office and let 'er rip. They don't even know what hit 'em I find it better to smile and laugh than to be confrontational and combative with people. They're all gonna get it one way or the other in the end

Oh, sure, if you´re payed for it, it´s your job. I also smile at people I don´t care when I work... I don´t lie to my friends and people I love but I do wear a false smile when it comes to make things easier.

[Ombre Vivante]

Not necessarily. Smiling works better in any situation. I'm becoming more and more accustomed to the notion that the only choice one has is how one's going to feel and react. It's easier said than done, esp. if I feel passionately about someone or something. Rather than feel spiteful, envious, or hateful, I laugh at the absurdity of the root problem.

[edna]

Eventually we all smile to survive... at least, I do.

[Farin]

I heard "Have a nice day" is the most often used lie in everyday life

[MuzikTyme]

I've at times considered "Hi" a lie.

[Ombre Vivante]

Eventually we all smile to survive... at least, I do.

Exactly. For me, it began as a coping mechanism, but if you do it enough times (like math) it becomes second nature. I think of it this way: is getting angry and hating someone/something going to change the outcome? If it doesn't, then it's not worth the time and energy. This doesn't mean I seldom get bothered (I've posted in this thread, after all). Hell, I'm bothered I haven't heard from a friend for almost a week

[Ombre Vivante]

I don't use the word "nice" and, after dealing with me, I truly do wish for their day to get better

[_Laurie_]

Farin, have you ever heard of George Carlin's "Have A Nice Day" stand-up? funny stuff...I'd post it but it, but can't because of language...You can check it out on Youtube though...

[Floydaholic]

Well, here's how it all started.....

I move to a new school. My first memory of this guy is him getting a wedgie and his boxers getting ripped off, or so I heard. They were all laughing, and I just saw him there, not laughing with everyone else.

I don't really remember when I first talked to him, but it came over time, as I got to know more people. I settled in really well in that school, and I'm so glad that I did!

My friend who left the school and repeated 5th year in another school always told me what an idiot this guy was, and how his friend that is a girl is an idiot too, but I said to myself, "hey, wait a minute, I'm not going to judge these people on what my other friend says, I'm gonna see for myself"

I only really got to know him more in my final year of school, I don't know how it happened, it just did. What I noticed about him was that he was very well spoken, very articulate, and some of the time he had aggressive posture. Most of the other people didn't really like him I heard. And sometimes he seemed very forced and dramatic.

I didn't like it when he was in his aggressive posture. One minute he'd tell you your his best friend, and then a few minutes later he said that if you didn't shut up, then he'd break your f#####g legs, and his bad language was well-spoken and clear too.

But I could put up with this, it didn't happen often, and he's only ever hit me a couple of times. We had a common interest, video games. He had an Xbox, he invited me back to his house once. On the way to his mams car, I commented on his nice jacket. He said to me "do you want it?", I said no of course, I was just more confused as why he would give me his leather jacket that he had gotten for a present!

He's a very strong guy, works out a lot, and is Cuban/Equadorian, which I think is a pretty cool mix, he also likes basketball as well.

What I noticed about him was that when I ever talked to him about something, such as girls or whatever, he'd always agree with me! He'd always say "go for it". And then when I would fail, he would say "Well, maybe you should do this instead", or "maybe that's not a good idea after all". And if his best friend that's a girl would say something different, he would agree with her.

He would talk about this girl sometimes about how he really liked her. They were always on and off, and it wasn't just him. One day they were friends, and the next day they weren't talking to each other, it was liked they liked a drama, more so for the girl, she's the immature type who runs herself down and craves attention, and makes people not like her, and then wonders why people do not like her, she actually asked me that once, I didn't answer.

And this guy would just follow her around like a dog on a lease, which was quite irritating sometimes because he'd only have time for her.

In 6th year, I was talking to one of our mutual friends about how my 5th year career book went missing in that year, and the mutual friend told me that this friend took it from my locker in 5th year! I never said it to my friend though, everyone in the year got the book for free, and we got part 2 of it in 6th year. That one wasn't stolen.

That was nearer the start of 6th year that I found it out. Anyway, my b-day was 14/05, and he was telling me that he was going to get me and Xbox 360 for my b-day. I was thinking "why would someone do something so nice like this? It's just too good to be true", and I was right eventually, but I'll get to that a little bit later.

We would talk about where we would find one, there was a large shopping market opposite our school, and they were in there of course. So he would be getting my psyched up about this, and I would feel guilty, only partly because my parents were going to be getting me a PS3. I was always thinking how it would be cool to have both major consoles like that.

He would be telling me how he has more than enough money saved away ih his account, and he also had more elsewhere.

When we went to the 1st machine, he froze, turned around and put his card to his lower lip in thought and looked away from me for a while. Then he said something like "I didn't realise how much of it I had spent". Then he tried another card, but he had forgotten the pin for it he said, then he was telling me about his other card that his mam gave him with some money on it, but that he wasn't aloud to use it unless he told his mama what it was for.

There was a 2nd-hand one which he would have had enough for, but this selfish haze which he had led me into told me to want the newer, far-greater value one for almost twice the price, so I later on said "Why don't you just ask some people in our year for money?" He said that he would.

Over the next few weeks he would tell me that he hasn't asked people yet, and he said that he would. He only asked people on the day before my b-day I think, because I kept asking him about it. No Xbox came of course.

And over the course of these few weeks he would be doing the putting his hand on my shoulder and telling me that he's going to get this for me, and then tell me that he's gonna break my f#####g legs if I ask him about it again. I was continually more perplexed and puzzled by him as time went on.

B-day arrived (18 = D-day-B-day) No Xbox, and he wasn't available for the trip to Pizza Hut with some of my mates (most of which didn't really know him or didn't like him) He had a party in his house once, and then kicked everyone out, it was around this time, I didn't go to it.

This was in the last week of school. As part of our Valedictory celebrations, the whole year went to a nightclub. Me, Him and 2 other friends got a lift home with one of the other friends dads. We dropped this "friend" and another of at this "friend's" area, I was saying that he should stay there, but the drunk friend wanted to walk home. I later found out from my now-sober-by-a-few-weeks friend was that he walked home! I thought "WTF did my "friend" not insist on him staying over?!" My friend walked home in the rain for almost 2 hours! I was really mad when I heard about this.

During the exam period, the Leaving Cert, me and this friend were talking about getting me something for my b-day again. It was my idea, cos I was angry and upset about the other thing. So we said that we'd get a headset and another controller for my PS3. When we got there, he had €40. Where did the rest of it go. He spent it on other things is what he said. I had €7 with me.

So obviously we just went looking around for a headset. Whenever I had talked to him about getting something, he'd never seem interested and never look at me properly. And even when we were in the shopping centre, I almost had to push him around to go to other shops.

Apparently the money he had with him was money that he got from the people that he asked, he said that people didn't really give him much. I have a right mind of asking him who he asked, but maybe I should ask around first, incase he tries to tell people to lie to me about it, that's how much I don't trust him anymore!

And even when we found the perfect deal (Nokia Bluetooth headset, special deal, €40), he didn't buy it. He had shown me the money, he even let me mind his wallet, make it feel more authentic. I gave him his wallet back and then we went to the counter and asked for the headset. There was one left. He asked "so, do you wanna get this one?" And I said "yes" of course. Then he said "get it then". I was confused, I asked for the money, he didn't give it to me. He then said that we'd be back. We went up to the foodcourt.

He was saying that he thought that we weren't gonna get it today, but what difference would it have made! It was supposedly b-day money for me, rightly mine! We then sat down at a table, and he was being a tad aggressive, saying that I was the one who kept changing the story and my mind! WTF?!

He was insistent on that we buy some lunch with the money, and get the headset another time. I was really pissed off. I had to leave in 15 minutes.

He laid out some coins on the table, and I put my €7 in coins on the table, and we stacked them in a tower. Then he went to the McDonald's counter, and a few minutes later, walked back to me, and handed me the money and said, "go get it" I was confused and a bit happy. I thought "if I'm gonna have to pay for this a bit myself, then I might as well" He had tricked me in to that! I went and got it as he went to another shop. I had had enough!

Then he said to me that that money was his mam's, and he had lent my "b-day money" to her, and that this was his money, ?!?!

I got a lift home.

One of the last times that I saw him was the last day that we would both have an exam on the same day, and it was when he was with the girl that I mentioned earlier who was telling him and another friend whow terrible she had done in her exam and how stupid she was. Neither of them had realised that it would be our last exam with each other.

Then I saw them both briefly at a party, she gave me a hug, he said that we'd talk later about my PS3 and that sort of thing. We didn't.

The next day, same house, different party (I have an absolutely AMAZING story about that night!! OH MAN!!, I have to tell you all that one too, my life will NEVER EVER be the sme again!!!) The morning I left, I didn't even realise that he was there, until he came over and shook my hand and said goodbye. I was on a mattress sleeping for the past 3 hours, and I had woken up near the time that he was leaving.

And that's the last that I'd heard from him, which was just over a week ago.

I don't really know what to think of him anymore, but I certainly don't like him at the moment. The fact that he has stolen from me, and tricked me, and has been aggressive to me I don't like. One time he punched me really, really hard on the arm for no reason at all!! It really hurt! He just jumped up in the air and punched me full force in the shoulder!! I was over in his house maybe 2 or 3 times, and we would play his Xbox online for hours, watch movies, get stuff from the shop and have great craic. My parents didn't like the way his parents never dropped me home. He's never been in my house, I don't think I'll ever have him over now. I havn't told my parents about this, they have this perfect image of him, the articulate, mannerly and respectful friend.

--------------------------------------------------

Wow, that was brief! If anyone has any interest, insight or any questions for me and about the stroy, then please don't hesitate to ask.

[Ombre Vivante]

Cliffnotes?

[Kevin]

I'll always remember being new here (he was new himself though, come to think of it) and Kevin asking me if I'm some religious nut

Well , you'll likely recall then that were plagued by both those and manic depressives looking for sympathy and psychological assistance from time to time and really milking the good natures of many here . Dark days that thankfully seem to be over or at least come in a more tolerable pace or form , now .

[PSYCHOcatholic]

You know what really grinds my gears?

VH1, they do there typical i love the decades shows, which is cool. But, there new I love the Millenium i believe they stop it at 2006.

How are we supposed to be nostalgic about something that happened a year and a half ago? There is no point in that show where i went "OH YEAH I REMEMBER THAT!!"

[Kevin]

It wouldn't really be nostalgic if you didn't remember it in some way , though , would it ?

[PSYCHOcatholic]

Yeah, when your right your right.

I just wish they would play some of the older ones more.

I think i was born in the wrong decade...anybody ever feel that way?

[Levis]

Not in the slightest

[Shawna]

Wow, Floyd, that was quite a story. From what I can gather, this is a guy you've known for a few years and were his friend even though no one else liked him. He plied you with money even though he had none, probably to keep your friendship. He promised you gifts that he couldn't follow through on because he had no money, and you got mad because you began to feel you deserved those gifts.

He may have huge problems in his home life. People who are prone to lying to make themselves look better are a lot of times from a bad home environment and feel they must "buy" their friends.

It's my experience - and now yours it appears - that it takes two: one to walk all over someone, and one to allow that person to walk all over them. You allowed yourself to be drawn in and expect things from this person, when in fact the first time he couldn't follow through on something should have been enough for you to learn not to expect anything.

Chalk it up to life experience. If you really care about him as a friend, you might find you can forgive these things about him and just be more aware in the future. If you don't, then don't let him have another moment of your time by allowing him to live rent-free in your head.

[Uncle Joe]

Wow, somebody actually read that?

[Steel2Velvet]

Wow, somebody actually read that?

[Kevin]

Wow, somebody actually read that?

I read a paragraph or two before bed ; really helps you get to sleep !

Will he or won't he get that PS3 ?

[Ombre Vivante]

I'll wait for the book-on-tape version. I hear Michael Caine will narrate this time

[Kevin]

I'll wait for the book-on-tape version. I hear Michael Caine will narrate this time

Maybe the times have changed a lot , and such a gift from a teenage friend is not out of the realms of possibility . I remember thinking that if a teenaged friend treated me to a MacDonald's lunch ,or paid for ( and got ) a six-pack, etc. being far more than enough ...