Farin Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian 10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt. 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God. 7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees! 6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old. 4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving." 3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity. 2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God. 1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 Please allow me to add my humble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 Very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadows Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 That's good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSYCHOcatholic Posted December 29, 2006 Report Share Posted December 29, 2006 LOL! Awesome! Props to Farin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 To quote Mr. Joel: "They say there's a heaven For those who will wait Some say it's better But I say it ain't I'd rather laugh with the sinners Than cry with the saints Sinners are much more fun Only the good die young" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 To quote Mr. Richards: "Gonna find my way to heaven cause I did my time in hell..." (from "Before they make me run") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farin Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 "As soon as you're born you start dying, so you might as well have a good time - Sheep go to Heaven, Goats go to Hell" (Cake) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Seeker Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 "On top of the sky is a place where you go if you've done nothing wrong And down in the ground is a place where you go if you've been a bad boy, Why can't we have eternal life, And never die? In the place up above you grow feather wings and you fly round and round, With a harp singing hymns. And down in the ground you grow horns and a tail and you carry a fork, And burn away." (The Who) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 "so give me a sign, amigo can you tell me did you go down laughin´ when you finally fell we had tales to tell and songs to sing did you get your horns or did they give you wings either works just as well" ~ Roger Clyne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 And when I die And when I'm dead, dead and gone There'll be one child born And a world to carry on ~Laura Nyro~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Who are you and who am I To say we know the reason why? Some are born and some men die Beneath one infinite sky. There'll be war, there'll be peace But everything one day will cease All the iron turned to rust All the proud men turned to dust And so all things time will mend So this song will end. -Pink Floyd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcM Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 I have seriously thought about having this played at my funereral if I bought it at work. Mama, take this badge off of me I can't use it anymore. It's gettin' dark, too dark for me to see I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door. Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Mama, put my guns in the ground I can't shoot them anymore. That long black cloud is comin' down I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door. Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Prepare yourself you know it's a must Gotta have a friend in Jesus So you'll know that when you die He's going to recommend you to the spirit in the sky..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Jesus is just alright with me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 One toke over the line, sweet Jesus . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 "They don't make Jews like Jesus anymore." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Already being in Purgatory , either up or down would be a pleasant change : I keep hearing you're concerned about my happiness But all that thought you're giving me is conscience, I guess If I were walking in your shoes I wouldn't worry none While you and your friends are worrying 'bout me, I'm having lots of fun Counting flowers on the wall That don't bother me at all Playing solitaire till dawn with a deck of 51 Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo So don't tell me I've nothing to do Last night I dressed in tails pretended I was on the town As long as I can dream it's hard to slow this swinger down So please don't give a thought to me I'm really doing fine You can always find me here and having quite a time Counting flowers on the wall That don't bother me at all Playing solitaire till dawn with a deck of 51 Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo So don't tell me I've nothing to do It's good to see you, I must go, I know I look a fright Anyway my eyes are not accustomed to this light And my shoes are not accustomed to this hard concrete So I must go back to my room and make my day complete Counting flowers on the wall That don't bother me at all Playing solitaire till dawn with a deck of 51 Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo So don't tell me I've nothing to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 If I Were A Carpenter by Leon Russell [CHORUS] If I was a carpenter And you were a lady Would you marry me anyway? Would you have my baby? [VERSE 1] If a tinker was my trade Would you tinker with me? Would you keep the vows we made Followin' behind me? And if I was Jesus And I built some crosses Could you see the future? Could stand the losses Of lovin' a carpenter And being a lady And takin' a chance on me Just to be my baby? Save my love through loneliness Save my love through sorrow, yes I'll give you my onliness If you just give me tomorrow If I was a rock star Would you be my groupie? Would you make sweet love to me? Come to California? Well, I might go crazy I have to warn ya Well, I get so mean sometimes When the spirit's on me That I think I'm Jesus Out buildin' crosses Could ya see the future? Could ya stand the losses? Of lovin' a carpenter And being a lady And takin' a chance on me Just to be my baby? Save my love through loneliness Save my love through sorrow, yeah I'll give you my onliness If you'd only give me tomorrow [bRIDGE] [repeat CHORUS] [repeat VERSE 1] And if I was Jesus And I built some crosses Could you see the future? Could stand the losses Of lovin' a carpenter And being a lady? Would ya take a chance on me? Would ya be my baby? Come take a chance on me Won't you come away with me Come take a chance on me Won't you be my baby? Won't ya take a chance on me? Won't ya be my baby? Won't ya take a chance on me? Won't ya be my... ohh, be my... ohhh ... Be my... ohhh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farin Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Jesus, He knows Me ~ Genesis You see the face on the TV screen coming at you every Sunday see that face on the billboard that man is me On the cover of the magazine there's no question why I'm smiling you buy a piece of paradise you buy a piece of me I'll get you everything you wanted I'll get you everything you need don't need to believe in hereafter just believe in me Cos Jesus he knows me and he knows I'm right I've been talking to Jesus all my life oh yes he knows me and he knows I'm right and he's been telling me everything is alright I believe in the family with my ever loving wife beside me but she don't know about my girlfriend or the man I met last night Do you believe in God cos that's what I'm selling and if you wanna get to heaven I'll see you right You won't even have to leave your house or get outta your chair you don't even have to touch that dial cos I'm everywhere And Jesus he knows me and he knows I'm right I've been talking to Jesus all my life oh yes he knows me and he knows I'm right well he's been telling me everything's gonna be alright Won't find me practising what I'm preaching won't find me making no sacrifice but I can get you a pocketful of miracles if you promise to be good, try to be nice God will take good care of you just do as I say, don't do as I do I'm counting my blessings, I've found true happiness cos I'm getting richer, day by day you can find me in the phone book, just call my toll free number you can do it anyway you want just do it right away There'll be no doubt in your mind you'll believe everything I'm saying if you wanna get closer to him get on your knees and start paying Cos Jesus he knows me and he knows I'm right I've been talking to Jesus all my life oh yes he knows me and he knows I'm right well he's been telling me everything's gonna be alright, alright Jesus he knows me Jesus he knows me, you know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcM Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life End over end neither left nor to right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life. Make me, oh make me, Lord more than I am Make me a piece in your master game plan Free from the earthly tempestion below I’ve got the will, Lord if you’ve got the toe. Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life End over end neither left nor to right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life. Take all the brothers who’ve gone on before And all of the sisters who’ve knocked on your door All the departed dear loved ones of mine Stick’em up front in the offensive line. Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life End over end neither left nor to right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life. Yeah, Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life End over end neither left nor to right Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elvish Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 Why Me, Lord ~written by Kris Kristofferson Why me Lord what have I ever done to deserve even one of the pleasures I've known Tell me, Lord, what did I ever do that was worth lovin' you or the kindness you've shown Lord help me, Jesus, I've wasted it so help me Jesus I know what I am but now that I know that I've needed you so help me, Jesus, my soul's in your hand Try me, Lord, if you think there's a way I can try to repay all I've taken from you maybe Lord I can show someone else what I've been through myself, on my way back to you Lord help me, Jesus, I've wasted it so help me Jesus I know what I am but now that I know that I've needed you so help me, Jesus, my soul's in your hand Lord help me, Jesus, I've wasted it so help me Jesus I know what I am but now that I know that I've needed you so help me Jesus my souls in your hand Jesus, my soul's in your hand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 No moderators would go to Heaven today , for sure , while the fun and games "Songfacts Top 10 Lists "game was broken ! } Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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