Random Lists of Random Things

[MindCrime]

I read a list of the Best & Worst Presidents of the U.S.A. in observation of President's Day coming up.

Best:

10. Wilson (established the Federal Reserve/ WWI)

9. Polk (led U.S. to victory over Mexico)

8. Reagan (Reaganomics)

7. Truman (signed up America to the United Nations and NATO)

6. Eisenhower (created the interstate highway system)

5. T. Roosevelt (attacked corporate monopolies)

4. Jefferson (author of the Declaration of Independence)

3. F.D. Roosevelt (served 4 terms, led America out of the Great Depression and through WWII)

2. Washington (established taxation system, a national bank and the first Supreme Court)

1. Lincoln (freed slaves)

Worst:

10. Fillmore (empowered slave states)

9. Garfield (assassinated for not including someone with his administration)

8. Harding (administrative scandals & took bribes, believed to have been poisoned in office)

7. Hoover (Great Depression)

5-t. Bush II (War on Terror)

5-t. Nixon (Watergate)

4. W.H. Harrison (didn't wear a coat while giving Inauguration speech in cold & wet weather. Died of pneumonia one month later.)

3. Van Buren (enforced policies to remove Native Americans from their homeland)

2. Pierce (signed acts in favor of pro-slavery states, partially responsible for the Republican party forming)

1. Buchanan (failed to prevent the Civil War)

I would take out Garfield and Harrison from the worst list, since they only violated themselves and not the country, and replace them with:

A. Johnson (refused rights to African-Americans)

Grant (tolerated corruption, unworthy of the $50 dollar bill)

Carter (economic farm crisis / failed foreign affairs)

I also believe Kennedy was a better president than Reagan.

[Farin]

25 Most Ridiculous Band Names in Rock History

from cracked.com, so beware of language

[Tenacious_Peaches]

[TheLizard]

"Either way, shut the f**k up Rob Thomas."

[Steel2Velvet]

Strange Laws from throughout the world. Source: Times (London) Online

25. It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.

24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

23. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.

22. In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.

21. Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.

20. In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.

19. In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.

18. Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.

17. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.

16. In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.

15. In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station.

14. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

13. In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.

12. In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.

11. In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.

10. In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.

9. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.

8. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.

7. In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.

6. In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.

5. In Boulder, Colorado, it is illegal to kill a bird within the city limits and also to “own†a pet – the town’s citizens, legally speaking, are merely “pet mindersâ€.

4. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

3. In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.

2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see their reflection in a mirror.

1. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.

I am wondering if our friends in England (Seeker, B-F, et al.) are practising #13 or if they are brazenly defying the law.

[The Seeker]

I am wondering if our friends in England (Seeker, B-F, et al.) are practising #13 or if they are brazenly defying the law.

I must admit that I am brazenly defying a law which I didn't even know existed.

[Steel2Velvet]

Well, you'd better string up your bow and get out there, before the authorities read this admission of your guilt!

[Shawna]

24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

wonder what the punishment is?

[Steel2Velvet]

Perhaps rotting in jail ...

[Farin]

[big]World's Worst Cultural Mistakes[/big]

Don’t let blowing your nose or taking off your shoes land you in hot water when you travel

[smaller]By Sallie Brady | Link[/smaller]

[big]Touching Someone[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: Korea, Thailand, China, Europe, the Middle East.

What’s Offensive: Personal space varies as you travel the globe. In Mediterranean countries, if you refrain from touching someone’s arm when talking to them or if you don’t greet them with kisses or a warm embrace, you’ll be considered cold. But backslap someone who isn’t a family member or a good friend in Korea, and you’ll make them uncomfortable. In Thailand, the head is considered sacred — never even pat a child on the head.

What You Should Do Instead: Observe what locals are doing and follow suit. In Eastern countries remember that touching and public displays of affection are unacceptable. In places like Qatar and Saudi Arabia, men and women are forbidden from interacting, let along touching.

[big]Knowing Your Right from Your Left[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: India, Morocco, Africa, the Middle East.

What’s Offensive: Many cultures still prefer to eat using traditional methods — their hands. In these cases, food is often offered communally, which is why it’s important to wash your hands before eating and observe the right-hand-is-for-eating and the left-hand-is-for-other-duties rule. If you eat with your left hand, expect your fellow diners to be mortified. And when partaking from a communal bowl, stick to a portion that’s closest to you. Do not get greedy and plunge your hand into the center.

What You Should Do Instead: Left-handed? Attempt to be ambidextrous — even children who are left-handed in these cultures are taught to eat with their right hand — or at least explain yourself to your fellow diners before plunging in.

[big]Keeping Your Clothes On[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: Scandinavian countries, Turkey.

What’s Offensive: Wearing bathing suits, shorts and T-shirts, underwear, or any other piece of clothing into a sauna, hammam, or other place of physical purification. In some cultures, a steam room or a sauna is considered a place of purity and reflection, where the outside world (i.e., your clothes) should be left outside. In some Scandinavian countries it’s common for entire families to sauna together in the nude.

What You Should Do Instead: Sitting on a folded towel is considered acceptable. If you’re too modest to appear naked, strip down, but wrap yourself in a towel.

[big]Getting Lei'd Off[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: Hawaii.

What’s Offensive: Refusing or immediately removing a lei.

What You Should Do Instead: Leis in the Hawaiian Islands aren’t just pretty floral necklaces that you get when you check into your hotel or show up at a luau. They’re a centuries-old cultural symbol of welcome, friendship, and appreciation. Never refuse a lei — it’s considered highly disrespectful — or whip it off in the giver’s presence. If you’re allergic to the flowers, explain so, but offer to put it in some place of honor, say in the center of the table, or on a statue. Note that closed leis should be worn not hanging from the neck, but over the shoulder, with half draped down your chest and the other half down your back.

[big]Looking Them in the Eye … or Not[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: Korea, Japan, Germany.

What’s Offensive: For Americans, not making direct eye contact can be considered rude, indifferent, or weak, but be careful how long you hold someone’s gaze in other countries. In some Asian nations, prolonged eye contact will make a local uncomfortable, so don’t be offended if you’re negotiating a deal with someone who won’t look you straight in the eye. If toasting with friends in a German beer hall, your eyes had better meet theirs — if they don’t, a German superstition says you’re both in for seven years of bad luck in the bedroom.

What You Should Do Instead: Avoid constant staring and follow the behavior of your host — and by all means, look those Germans straight on.

[big]Drinking Alcohol the Wrong Way[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: Latin America, France, Korea, Russia.

What’s Offensive: Every culture has different traditions when it comes to drinking etiquette. Fail to consume a vodka shot in one gulp in Russia, and your host will not be impressed. Refill your own wine glass in France without offering more to the rest of the table, and you’ve made a faux pas. In Korea, women can pour only men’s drinks — not other women’s — and if you want a refill, you need to drain your glass. And if you’re in Latin America, never pour with your left hand — that’s bad luck.

What You Should Do Instead: Until you’re culturally fluent, leave it to your pals to pour.

[big]Blowing Your Nose[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: Japan, China, Saudi Arabia, France.

What’s Offensive: Some cultures find it disgusting to blow your nose in public — especially at the table. The Japanese and Chinese are also repelled by the idea of a handkerchief. As Mark McCrum points out in his book Going Dutch in Beijing, the Japanese word hanakuso unpleasantly means nose waste.

What You Should Do Instead: If traveling through Eastern and Asian countries, leave the hankies at home and opt for disposable tissues instead. In France as well as in Eastern countries, if you’re dining and need to clear your nasal passages, excuse yourself and head to the restroom. Worst-case scenario: make an exaggerated effort to steer away from the table. Let’s hope you don’t have a cold.

[big]Removing Your Shoes…or Not[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: Hawaii, the South Pacific, Korea, China, Thailand.

What’s Offensive: Take off your shoes when arriving at the door of a London dinner party and the hostess will find you uncivilized, but fail to remove your shoes before entering a home in Asia, Hawaii, or the Pacific Islands and you’ll be considered disrespectful. Not only does shoe removal very practically keeps sand and dirt out of the house, it’s a sign of leaving the outside world behind.

What You Should Do Instead: If you see a row of shoes at the door, start undoing your laces. If not, keep the shoes on.

[big]Talking Over Dinner[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: Africa, Japan, Thailand, China, Finland.

What’s Offensive: In some countries, like China, Japan, and some African nations, the food’s the thing, so don’t start chatting about your day’s adventures while everyone else is digging into dinner. You’ll likely be met with silence—not because your group is unfriendly, but because mealtimes are for eating, not talking. Also avoid conversations in places a country might consider sacred or reflective—churches in Europe, temples in Thailand, and saunas in Finland.

What You Should Do Instead: Keep quiet!

[big]Road Rage[/big]

Where It’s Offensive: Hawaii, Russia, France, Italy, around the globe.

What’s Offensive: Honk on Molokai or fail to pay a police officer a fine, a.k.a. bribe, on the spot when you’re stopped for speeding in Russia, and you’ll risk everything from scorn to prison time. Remember, too, that hand gestures have different meanings in other countries — a simple “thumbs-up†is interpreted as an “up yours“ in parts of the Middle East.

What You Should Do Instead: When driving abroad, make sure you have an international driver’s license; never, ever practice road rage; and keep your hands on the wheel.

[Levis]

That's enlightening I like to think I know most of that stuff, but I don;t really

[Kevin]

While true that blowing one's nose directly facing other diners at the dinner table is considered rude in Japan ( and certainly unwelcome likely everywhere else ) , I believe this writer has missed the mark on hankerchiefs. The average Japanese does tend to carry one as a large number of public washrooms do not provide paper towels or hand dryers. As well , in the humid summers , they are useful for mopping away sweat or can double as a napkin when eating on the go . They are also one of the most common little gift items that people give to others for little favors or thank yous- we must have about 50+ in the closet . There is definitely no preference of disposable tissues over cloth .

Equally mistaken , or certainly overstated , is the idea that it is rude to speak ( perhaps she meant loudly and often ) during meals - except , perhaps , if one is in a very posh formal setting where the atmosphere is notably quiet . Otherwise , people tend to behave and conduct themselves as they would anywhere else . A group dinner of work colleagues or friends , which often includes a fair bit of booze , can be downright riotous at at times . Food is a favorite topic of the Japanese - and any foreign guest , especially , can expect to be near constantly questioned about whether they like this or that , differences in cuisines , etc . True , I have seen many couples ( usually either the elderly or quite young ) eat in near silence , but this is more a personal choice , habit , or lack of social skills rather than a question of etiquette . Texting on cell phones has also become a mealtime habit for many, which strikes me as a modern breach of manners , but it doesn't seem to bother many here .

Edited March 10, 2009 by Guest

[MindCrime]

• Top 11 reasons why Old People Suck.
  
  
  
• They Smell Bad - Have you ever had someone tell you that your fart smells like an old person? It's because it does, old people smell bad, that's all there is to it.
  
  
  
• They Are Desperate For Your Sympathy - Old people pretend to be all doddery and frail, but they're just attention seeking, and they fake illnesses to get you to like them. Then they die.
  
  
• They Drive Slow - Old people typically like driving 10 mph under the speed limit in the slow lane. Not to mention they can't see so they always get into accidents and blame the younger person when it's most likely their dumb fault in the first place.
  
  
• They Are Stealing My Social Security - They are sucking the social security down like their Metamucil in the morning so they have a chance to sh!t by Noon. I work hard as do all of the other young professionals out there, and we are going to have no social security to look forward to, but we have to pay into it no matter what. Why? Because old people need their denture cream and their Depends.
  
  
• They Are Increasing the Cost of My Health Insurance - If you ever go to the doctor's office, you will see why the costs of insurance coverage and doctor visits are going up. It's because old people swarm the hospital like they are bees going to the hive. They go in for stupid little things like cold, coughs, or broken hips. Not to mention... they also make the damn place smell bad. Yeah, that's the smell that are in hospitals, it's old people.
  
  
• They Can't Handle Change - If an old person notices one thing different, they will go on a rant about how it was "back in the day". Never mind that these were the same people who ran moonshine during prohibition, You know what? No one cares about how it was back in the day, the point is it's getting fixed now because "back in the day" whatever it was sucked and was done wrong.
  
  
• They Are Confused About Technology - Ever watch an old person try and work their VCR? I didn't say DVD player, because that is far too new for any old person. They cannot comprehend the concept that pressing play will make the movie play. I know it's sad, but it's true. Watching an old person with a computer is even funnier, but I don't want to write a novel about it.
  
  
• They Are Mean - Old people are mean about everything. It doesn't matter what you've done or what you said, they will snap back and make sure you know that you are wrong. Old people love cutting in lines like they have someplace to get to fast. They never do don't let them fool you. Next time an old person is mean at you, fart in your hand and put it in their nose, or else just stiff arm slap them, pimp style.
  
  
• They Have No Concept of Reality - Old people usually gather in their own little old people groups, usually at a Perkin's or a Country Kitchen restaurant and just talk about whatever delusion they have on their mind at the time. If you ever enter one of these restaurants during the morning, watch out, they might try and beat you with their cane or walker for disturbing them in their natural habitat.
  
  
• They Make Casinos Suck - Ever try and get a seat at a fun slot machine or one that has a high jackpot? It's impossible! Old people typically spend 70-80% of their time in a casino hording those machines and making sure that younger people don't get any of the money.
  
  
• They Are a Drain on Our Entire Economy - Old people horde money, spend very little of it, and just keep it until they die. For our economy to flourish, money needs to be spent, not just saved. Old people cost the tax payers a tremendous amount of money due to government assistance for health care. Overall they are a drain on the economy.
  
  
• I know a lot of the reasons I mentioned are rather mean, but so are old people. They shouldn't be allowed to leave their retirement communities and they need to realize that it isn't 1940 anymore.

~ (Saumz, 2007)

[Steel2Velvet]

In Brazil it is considered very uncouth and offensive to use a toothpick in public - yet they are made available in some restaurants and homes. One must slink away to a private location to use a toothpick. And don't even let a family member see you flossing!

Also in Brazil, using the combined circle of thumb and forefinger to express visually "OK" is equivalent to the middle finger "Screw you." The affirmative hand gesture is the thumb up, which I noted in the above article to be a no-no in a few other countries. Hard not to offend someone, somewhere no matter how hard we try to please.

[Uncle Joe]

• Top 11 reasons why Old People Suck.
  
  
  
• They Smell Bad - Have you ever had someone tell you that your fart smells like an old person? It's because it does, old people smell bad, that's all there is to it.
  
  
  
• They Are Desperate For Your Sympathy - Old people pretend to be all doddery and frail, but they're just attention seeking, and they fake illnesses to get you to like them. Then they die.
  
  
• They Drive Slow - Old people typically like driving 10 mph under the speed limit in the slow lane. Not to mention they can't see so they always get into accidents and blame the younger person when it's most likely their dumb fault in the first place.
  
  
• They Are Stealing My Social Security - They are sucking the social security down like their Metamucil in the morning so they have a chance to sh!t by Noon. I work hard as do all of the other young professionals out there, and we are going to have no social security to look forward to, but we have to pay into it no matter what. Why? Because old people need their denture cream and their Depends.
  
  
• They Are Increasing the Cost of My Health Insurance - If you ever go to the doctor's office, you will see why the costs of insurance coverage and doctor visits are going up. It's because old people swarm the hospital like they are bees going to the hive. They go in for stupid little things like cold, coughs, or broken hips. Not to mention... they also make the damn place smell bad. Yeah, that's the smell that are in hospitals, it's old people.
  
  
• They Can't Handle Change - If an old person notices one thing different, they will go on a rant about how it was "back in the day". Never mind that these were the same people who ran moonshine during prohibition, You know what? No one cares about how it was back in the day, the point is it's getting fixed now because "back in the day" whatever it was sucked and was done wrong.
  
  
• They Are Confused About Technology - Ever watch an old person try and work their VCR? I didn't say DVD player, because that is far too new for any old person. They cannot comprehend the concept that pressing play will make the movie play. I know it's sad, but it's true. Watching an old person with a computer is even funnier, but I don't want to write a novel about it.
  
  
• They Are Mean - Old people are mean about everything. It doesn't matter what you've done or what you said, they will snap back and make sure you know that you are wrong. Old people love cutting in lines like they have someplace to get to fast. They never do don't let them fool you. Next time an old person is mean at you, fart in your hand and put it in their nose, or else just stiff arm slap them, pimp style.
  
  
• They Have No Concept of Reality - Old people usually gather in their own little old people groups, usually at a Perkin's or a Country Kitchen restaurant and just talk about whatever delusion they have on their mind at the time. If you ever enter one of these restaurants during the morning, watch out, they might try and beat you with their cane or walker for disturbing them in their natural habitat.
  
  
• They Make Casinos Suck - Ever try and get a seat at a fun slot machine or one that has a high jackpot? It's impossible! Old people typically spend 70-80% of their time in a casino hording those machines and making sure that younger people don't get any of the money.
  
  
• They Are a Drain on Our Entire Economy - Old people horde money, spend very little of it, and just keep it until they die. For our economy to flourish, money needs to be spent, not just saved. Old people cost the tax payers a tremendous amount of money due to government assistance for health care. Overall they are a drain on the economy.
  
  
• I know a lot of the reasons I mentioned are rather mean, but so are old people. They shouldn't be allowed to leave their retirement communities and they need to realize that it isn't 1940 anymore.

~ (Saumz, 2007)

I don't suck, because:

1. I smell good. I bathe at least once a day and wear very clean clothes (when I wear clothes) and use deodorant. That's more than you can say for your generation.

2. I aint frail. I'm still hale and hardy. I got yer sympathy right here. Don't need it. Don't want it. Never will.

3. I drive fast. Too fast some say. My eyesight is excellent as is my judgement as I never drink and drive. I've been in 3 accidents in my lifetime...all caused by drivers younger than me. I generously point out correct driving procedures to other drivers that I encounter on the road. And loudly! I use hand illustrations, too.

4. Stealing your SS? My generation (the baby boomers) have paid more into SS than any other generation ever paid or ever will pay. If the younger generations would get their asses to work there'd be more for all of us. I still have all of my teeth and I enjoy regular bathroom habits, thank you.

5. Your health care? My taxes pay for it. My health care costs me over $1,400.00 per month. Plus $40.00 per Dr. visit (till April 1st anyway) and don't get me started on the cost of prescriptions. What are you doing hanging around hospitals anyway? Stop your sniffing around.

6. Handle change? What am I, an amusement ride operator?

7. Technology has never confused me. I'm here aint I?

8. I'm not mean but I've yet to meet a person who can slap me in any manner and live to tell about it. I'm really rather anxious to meet one. I haven't had to deck some asswipe in months. BTW, you seem to be preoccupied with farting. You may want to see someone about that.

9. Reality? You mean you look for it in Perkins or Country Kitchen? I've never been in one.

10. Casinos suck because they suck. I don't frequent them because they're no fun. But, to each his own. Some people I know enjoy them. I suggest that you stay out of them. That way you won't have to run into so many old people.

11. I'm not fortunate enough to know any of the old people you say are hoarding money. Most that I know are barely scraping by. Fortunately I have enough money to spend over $4,000.00 per month. I don't save money. I spend it faster than it comes in. But that's one advantage to being "old". I'll be long gone before my money will run out and there'll still be plenty for the family I leave behind. Need a few bucks?

If some of my responses have seemed mean perhaps it's because you're too young to recognize reality.

[edna]

...anyways, you´re not old, Joe... you´re just older... and wiser...

I mean, older than some of us...

[Shawna]

^^ I wonder how old was the person who wrote that (original) rant? Probably teens or early 20s, I'm guessing. I admit when I read it I got a hankering to go out driving 10 miles per hour just to rankle the young'uns. Maybe I'll even bathe in some White Linen perfume so I can smell like a musty attic, and go hang at a rave club.

[Steel2Velvet]

Sit on 'em, Joe and don't let 'em up!

[Tenacious_Peaches]

Joe, you rock me in places I didn't know I had. You don't suck because you are totally not old. Funny, but not old.

[Uncle Joe]

Thank you all. And I hope Kenne realizes that my remarks were in fun and not directed at him.

[MuzikTyme]

I'm old and I suck because it's a natural human thing to do. Males or females get old but should never stop sucking; sucking is one of our most natural instincts.

It's why we have lips!

We were born sucking a teat and I'll hopefully die sucking one!

[Tenacious_Peaches]

[MindCrime]

^^ I wonder how old was the person who wrote that (original) rant? Probably teens or early 20s, I'm guessing. I admit when I read it I got a hankering to go out driving 10 miles per hour just to rankle the young'uns. Maybe I'll even bathe in some White Linen perfume so I can smell like a musty attic, and go hang at a rave club.

It was some stupid e-mail that was sent to me. I think if the person who wrote it complains this much now, I'd hate to see him when he gets old.

[miamisammy29]

If some of my responses have seemed mean perhaps it's because you're too young to recognize reality.

Old b*stard!

[Uncle Joe]

See? Sammy's old enough to recognize my reality.