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Random Lists of Random Things


PSYCHOcatholic

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I tend to think that most of the amazing coincidences I have seen listed on websites are exaggerated, or perhaps even complete lies. The less amazing ones are usually true, but not that much of a coincidence if you think about them hard enough. :P

"The only true coincidence would be if there were no coincidences".

[smallest]I am unsure where I got the above quote from or who made it.[/smallest]

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Funny Home Remedies...

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. AVOID THE MESS WHEN YOUR TOILET BACKS UP, USE THE YARD.

8. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

9. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

10. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

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  • 2 weeks later...

YOU

KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...

1.. You accidentally

enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't

played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list

of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of

three.

4. You e-mail the

person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for

not staying in touch with friends and family is that they

don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in

your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is

home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial

on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8.. Leaving the house

without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first

20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic

and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in

the morning and go on line before getting your

coffee

11. You start

tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading

this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you

know exactly to whom you are going to forward this

message.

14. You are too busy

to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually

scrolled back up to check that t here wasn't a #9 on this

list

~~~~~~~~~~~AND

FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at

yourself. LOL

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3. You have a list

of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of

three.

8.. Leaving the house

without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first

20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic

and you turn around to go and get it.

:laughing: :laughing:

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