daslied Posted February 1, 2006 Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 Yeah, I got your joke. And then I made a more obscure one of my own. I rode my bike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Posted February 1, 2006 Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 Ah well... As long as you laughed... That's all we got left anymore, innit? Ken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted February 1, 2006 Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 Pretty much, since you stole my woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted February 1, 2006 Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 No one take this the wrong way...but you all are definately keeping in tune with the theme of the thread...cool! LOL! We are simple creatures trying to find amusement wherever we can, Jane! I rode my bike. That reminds me of a song... Bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like As long as you laughed... That's all we got left anymore, innit? Ain't that the truth, Ken? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted February 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 We are simple creatures trying to find amusement wherever we can, Jane! And believe me when I say that you all having fun does make my day!! I need the uplift!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted February 10, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2006 United Press International Tombstone, the Arizona town cleaned up by Wyatt Earp, once again has a reputation for lawlessness. In a memo obtained by the Arizona Republic, the new marshal, Lance Crosthwait, says his deputies have been drinking on duty and giving women drugs or protection from arrest in exchange for sexual favors. Crosthwait asked for an investigation of the Marshal's Office. Mayor Andree De Journett appointed Crosthwait earlier this month after the previous marshal left, ostensibly because he did not live in Tombstone. The office has had six marshals in three years. "Nobody's doing their jobs," De Journett told the newspaper. "I mean, a filing cabinet with sex toys? What's going on there at night?" Tombstone, a small town in southeastern Arizona, is a tourist attraction. Where is Wyatt Earp when you need him??? Anyone want to apply for the job?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna Posted February 10, 2006 Report Share Posted February 10, 2006 good lord, Tombstone is only 2 hours away from here and I've been telling Brad what a cool place it is to visit. Guess we'd better hope that I don't get arrested down there for any reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted February 27, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2006 PITTSBURGH (AP) _ Turns out the microwaved penis was a fake. A convenience store clerk in the Pittsburgh area was freaked out when she thought she had put a severed penis in the store's microwave oven. The clerk says a couple came into the store and asked her to heat up something for them. The clerk did and caught a glimpse of what she thought was a penis wrapped in paper towels. McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero says the woman who came into the store with the fake penis was actually trying to cheat on a job application drug test. Prosthetic penises that contain drug-free urine are sold on the Internet. According to the woman, the couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would pass the body temperature test. Police plan to interview the woman today. New meaning for a weenie in a blanket!! Ewwww!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted March 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2006 It almost seemed like a miracle to Haldis Gundersen when she turned on her kitchen faucet this weekend and found the water had turned into beer. Two flights down, employees and customers at the Big Tower Bar were horrified when water poured out of the beer taps. By an improbable feat of clumsy plumbing, someone at the bar in Kristiandsund, western Norway, had accidentally hooked the beer hoses to the water pipes for Gundersen's apartment. "We had settled down for a cozy Saturday evening, had a nice dinner, and I was just going to clean up a little," Gundersen, 50, told The Associated Press by telephone Monday. "I turned on the kitchen faucet and beer came out." However, Gundersen said the beer was flat and not tempting, even in a country where a half-liter (pint) can cost about 25 kroner ($3.75) in grocery stores. Per Egil Myrvang, of the local beer distributor, said he helped bartenders reconnect the pipes by telephone. "The water and beer pipes do touch each other, but you have to be really creative to connect them together," he told local newspapers. Gundersen joked about having the pub send up free beer for her next party. "But maybe it would be easier if they just invited me down for a beer," she said. And all I get in my faucet is tap water with so many creepy things in it I don't drink it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad_M Posted March 15, 2006 Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 Jane said: In a memo obtained by the Arizona Republic, the new marshal, Lance Crosthwait, says his deputies have been drinking on duty and giving women drugs or protection from arrest in exchange for sexual favors. Crosthwait asked for an investigation of the Marshal's Office. Mayor Andree De Journett appointed Crosthwait earlier this month after the previous marshal left, ostensibly because he did not live in Tombstone. The office has had six marshals in three years. Where is Wyatt Earp when you need him??? Anyone want to apply for the job?? I'd like to apply for the "deputy" position! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted March 15, 2006 Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 The upper part of my screen is stretched... very large for my screen. This is weird... does anybody get the same? In the band that reads "My Fusion", "Main", "Forums", etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted March 15, 2006 Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 (edited) Jane said: I'd like to apply for the "deputy" position! You really want sexual favours from women who accept drugs in exchange? And are candidates for frequent arrest? We're talking about junkie-prostitutes here, Brad; I can't imagine they'll be Playboy Bunnies..... Edited March 15, 2006 by Guest Removal of potentially entertaining content Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted March 15, 2006 Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 Yep ! Stay away from cigarettes , whisky and scarlet women ... or maybe that's just me ... Gil Favor , trail boss . (cue : " Rollin' , rollin' , rollin' , though the creeks are swollen , keep them doggies movin' - Rawhide ! ..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted March 15, 2006 Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 So then, this thread isn't about the White House Staff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted March 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2006 So then, this thread isn't about the White House Staff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted March 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2006 Man Tries to Buy Condoms With Fake $100 (AP) A 23-year-old man was arrested after he tried to buy condoms and cologne with a fake $100 bill, authorities said. Christopher Leigh Smith was charged with attempting to use a counterfeit bill to purchase the items at a Walgreens Drug Store, Florida Today reported Thursday. The clerk suspected the bill was fake and stalled Smith until police arrived, a spokeswoman for the Palm Bay Police Department said. "He told them that he knew it was fake and that he had gotten it from an unknown man," said spokeswoman Yvonne Martinez. Police found no evidence that Smith had produced the bill himself, she said. Smith is being held Brevard County Jail on a $1,000 bond. The case has also been referred to the U.S. Secret Service, which routinely handles cases involving counterfeit bills. At least the guy was ready for his date, safe sex and colonge...every girls dream!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted March 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 17, 2006 Neighbors Upset Over Pot Paintings Winsted -- It's neighbor versus neighbor in one community. Neighbors say a house on 24 High Street in Winsted is in bad taste, but officials say there's little they can do about this house with hemp leaves painted on the side. The hemp leaf symbol means the same thing to almost everyone, marijuana, but for the man who owns this house it means something else, hemp. Hemp is basically pot plant minus the pot and hemp is widely acknowledged to have many different uses. "Hemp fiber is 10 times as strong as cotton," says Chris Seekins, who grows the plant. "You can make plastics out of hemp." Seekins owns the home and painted these pictures and with them is making a statement that hemp should be legalized. "I think he's going about it the wrong way decorating this house the way he did," said neighbor Tom Rea. Neighbors we talked to weren't excited about Seekins message but they all recognize his right to do it. "It’s just a means of being civilly disobedient that's how I look at it," said neighbor Ron Sturm. Police in the town agree Seekins can paint his house how he wants. It comes down to the first amendment and while not everyone may like what he has to say it's his property and he does have the right to say it. Seekins was arrested last year for growing and cultivating marijuana, almost 100 plants. Seekins says they were hemp plants and is fighting that in court. So what is he inviting the cops to come to his hous now or what?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Levis Posted March 18, 2006 Report Share Posted March 18, 2006 I think they're getting excited over nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky Posted March 18, 2006 Report Share Posted March 18, 2006 OK, 3 separate times I've come in on the tail end of a news story. Have I heard this right? A man in Chicago cut his penis off and threw it at police? Now that's got it all covered. Strange, Weird and wacky! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted March 18, 2006 Report Share Posted March 18, 2006 Yes, that's right CeeCee...I heard that yesterday...I was gonna post it, but I didnt hear where he was from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted March 18, 2006 Report Share Posted March 18, 2006 Jane...here's a pic of the hemp house...I don't think it's that bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted March 18, 2006 Report Share Posted March 18, 2006 OK, 3 separate times I've come in on the tail end of a news story. Have I heard this right? A man in Chicago cut his penis off and threw it at police? Now that's got it all covered. Strange, Weird and wacky! I guess he showed them!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted March 18, 2006 Report Share Posted March 18, 2006 (edited) Have I heard this right? A man in Chicago cut his penis off and threw it at police? Round our way, we'd call that "snooking a cock at the law"... Edited March 18, 2006 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted March 18, 2006 Report Share Posted March 18, 2006 All I know is this dude fought the law...and the law won. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad_M Posted March 18, 2006 Report Share Posted March 18, 2006 Police in the town agree Seekins can paint his house how he wants. I don't see how they can say this. Wouldn't or couldn't it be viewed as a billboard in a residential area and he would need a permit... or promoting the use of an illegal substance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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