RonJonSurfer Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 Top 10 Worst "Lost Love" Songs Guide Picks From Dave White, at About.com Your Guide to Classic Rock. Love has long been a popular theme in rock music: finding it, wishing you could find it, losing it, never having it, wanting more of it. Lost love has inspired poets, novelists and songwriters through the ages. The theme has also inspired some of the worst rock song lyrics you can imagine. Hey, I don’t make this stuff up. These, believe it or not, are for real! 1) "Love Stinks" - J. Geils Band This song is little more than an exercise in thinking of words that rhyme with “stinks,†with no requirement that they make any sense. “I’ve had the blues, the reds and the pinks. One thing for sure, love stinks.â€Perhaps, but no more so than, say, a dead fish, or this song. 2) "Still ... You Turn Me On" - Emerson, Lake & Palmer This is one of my favorite groups, and some of my least favorite lyrics. "When you're buried in disguise By the dark glass on your eyes Though your flesh has crystallised; Still...you turn me on.†"Every day a little sadder, A little madder, Someone get me a ladder." A ladder? Could this get any badder? Isn't crystallised flesh bad enough? Sheesh! 3) "Answering Machine" - The Replacements And the award for the Most Incomprehensible “Lost Love†Song Lyrics goes to: “She sticks in my ribs almost better than you did And maybe I’m tired or maybe she glowsâ€And maybe we’d all have been better off not having been subjected to this song. 4) "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" - Meat Loaf There’s lyrical imagery and there’s allegory and there’s … whatever the heck this is: â€I’m tired of words and I’m too hoarse to shout, But you’ve been cold to me so long I’m crying icicles instead of tears.â€Crying icicles? Well, brr-hoo. This definitely causes me to want to make like a bat out of hell. 5) "Muskrat Love" - America I'm not sure this deals strictly with lost love. In fact, it's hard to know just what it does deal with. The title alone suggests problems ahead. “And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed, Singin’ and jingin’ the jango, Floatin’ like the heavens above It looks like muskrat love.â€Now, I like to jing the old jango as well as the next guy, but I have to believe that some thematic possibilities have been overlooked when the lyrics center on the mating habits of muskrats. 6) "Love Hurts" - Nazareth “Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain.†“Love is like a flame, it burns you when it’s hot.â€Some songs touch the heart. Some touch the soul. Others, like this one, touch the intestines with a feeling not unlike that induced by food poisoning. Sometimes they make the muskrats start to look good. 7) "Pictures of You" - The Cure The pictures described in this song seem to have been posed in front of a fun house mirror. “You were angels So much more than everything Hold for the last time then slip away quietly Open my eyes But I never see anything.â€Make song words fit randomly with but my vertigo and other feelings strong. 8) "Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've?)" - The Buzzcocks “And we won’t be together much longer Unless we realize that we are the same†â€You disturb my natural emotions You make me feel like dirt And I’m hurt And if I start a commotion I’ll only end up losing you And that’s worse†Worse? You want worse? What's worse than these lyrics? 9) "MacArthur Park" - Richard Harris Nothing begs for a metaphor like a lost love, especially one that is so much like a pair of wrinkled trousers. “As we followed in the dance Between the parted pages and were pressed In love's hot, fevered iron Like a striped pair of pantsâ€This song's sole redeeming quality was that, at well over seven minutes in length, it gave radio DJs the opportunity to take a potty break. 10) "You Are the Everything" - R.E.M. For all of you lovers who have always dreamed of sleeping with your teeth in your mouth: “Late spring and you’re drifting off to sleep With your teeth in your mouth You are here with me You are here with me You have been here and you are everything†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 " Girlfriend In a Coma " -- The Smiths : Slightly amusing upon first hearing for it's uniquness , but then a bit disturbing . "Girlfriend in a coma I know , I know , -- it's serious " ... "Do you think that she'll pull through ? Do you really think she'll pull through ? " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 Top 10 Worst "Lost Love" Songs Guide Picks From Dave White, at About.com Your Guide to Classic Rock. 8) "Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've?)" - The Buzzcocks “And we won’t be together much longer Unless we realize that we are the same†â€You disturb my natural emotions You make me feel like dirt And I’m hurt And if I start a commotion I’ll only end up losing you And that’s worse†Worse? You want worse? What's worse than these lyrics? This criticism could be taken more seriously if the lyrics were quoted accurately. I've never heard of Dave White, but I strongly suspect he's a tosspot of the highest order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrCowbell Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I really like Answering Machine by The Replacements. It's even more appropriate now wil emails and IMs and Internet dating. How do you say I love you to someone's away message? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earth-Angel Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I adore Love Hurts and Girlfriend in a Coma. Love songs aren't always happy or sappy, love has many levels. I'm glad people can express their own version of love instead of cliched "roses are red, violets are blue" schmaltz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted January 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I really like "Still...You Turn Me On" and "Love Hurts".....now I must admit to my secret admiration of "MacArthur Park" by Richard Harris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earth-Angel Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I also like "Still...you turn me on" and have a really good live version, and really - the lyrics aren't that bad. I'm with BF in saying this guys is a tosspot. Can I say tosspot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted January 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I also like "Still...you turn me on" and have a really good live version, and really - the lyrics aren't that bad. I'm with BF in saying this guys is a tosspot. Can I say tosspot? You can say it because I have no idea what you are talking about... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 Muskrat Love wasn't by America....it was by Captain and Tenille wasn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 They both did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted January 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 They both did it. Two groups felt the need to do that song? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 Seems a bit excessive, doesn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I like "Love Stinks"...have since high school and then loved it more after seeing the Wedding Singer...Adam Sandler does it so well. And "Love Hurts"...come on great tune there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 This criticism could be taken more seriously if the lyrics were quoted accurately. I've never heard of Dave White, but I strongly suspect he's a tosspot of the highest order. I would never disagree with BF on such an important issue (only trivial ones that get his goat ). Buzzcocks rule. Also, Love Hurts is such a stonking tune that it is hard to do a bad version. So, what if the bloke from Nazareth (Dan McCafferty...if memory serves) has a voice like a muskrat being dragged through a bailing machine by his nuts...that's ok. :guitar: For what it's worth, Jennifer Warnes did a stupendous version of that song which leaves me all a-quiver whenever I hear it and I nearly put it in the 'Nostalgia' section some time ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 I also like Love Hurts....reminds me of highschool years....and as for Muskrat Love...I've only heard the Captain and Tenille version....but America?...that's shocking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted January 17, 2006 Report Share Posted January 17, 2006 So, what if the bloke from Nazareth (Dan McCafferty...if memory serves) has a voice like a muskrat being dragged through a bailing machine by his nuts...that's ok. I don't even feel the need to post here at Songfacts anymore. All I have to do is quote all of you insanely, ridiculously funny people and make little smiley faces...and my work is done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryansgirl319 Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 The whole point of Love Stinks is that it is an ANTI love song meant to be tounge in cheek, and the Graham Parsons/Emmylou Harris version of Love Hurts is simply beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible_r Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 I also agree with bllidfitter, "ever fallen in love with " is a cool song! as is "pictures of you" , the comments made are utterly stupid! the song is about a lost love, which is why he says that "i've been looking so long at these pictures of you that i almost believe that they're real i've been living so long with my pictures of you that i almost believe that the pictures are all i can feel " clearly, if you read the lyrics, you will see that he is reminiscing about her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted January 18, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 I love seeing you guys get feisty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 I love seeing you guys get feisty. oh, RonJon, you just want to jump in the middle, don'tcha? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted January 18, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 Sounds like an invitation.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulGirl Posted January 20, 2006 Report Share Posted January 20, 2006 ron, your post was so funny!! but i do love that buzzcocks song! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katie_sane Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 I hate Muskrat Love. But I really do like Love Hurts by Nazareth, think his voice sounds really good. Shakespeare it ain't, but that's okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otokichi Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 Although this is a Classic Rock board/thread, I haven't seen any one mention "Tell Laura I Love Her" performed by Ray Peterson as a candidate for the list. (It sounded soppy even in the day.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 Even though I was just coming into my teen years and so impressed by rock ballads as to feel any song played on the radio was a valid adoptable attitude, and even though, like millions of pubescent boys, I was infatuated with Lesley Gore; from the first time I heard it, I have had a problem with this song. And it took three men to write it! It's My Party written by Wally Gold, John Gluck, and Herb Weiner recorded by Lesley Gore Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone Judy left the same time Why was he holding her hand When he's supposed to be mine Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night Leave me alone for a while 'Til Johnny's dancin' with me I've got no reason to smile Judy and Johnny just walked through the door Like a queen with her king Oh what a birthday surprise Judy's wearin' his ring It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to Cry if I want to, cry if I want to You would cry too if it happened to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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