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Poem: I hate you


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please tell me what you think....

I HATE YOU

I hate you

More than you will ever know

I hate you

At first I was just pi*t off

But now I?m so full of hate

I hate you

For all the things you did

I hate you

Cause you?ve hurt me so much

I hate you

Cause you?ve made me cry

I hate you

Cause you?re pushing me away from you

I hate you

Cause you?ve turned my heart completely black and blue

I hate you

And all your stupid lies

I hate you

But most of all I hate the way I don?t hate you

Cause I know deep down I care for you

And I know you?ve helped me so much

So when the day comes for me to see you again

I will be there

But right now I so [bleep] hate you

I hate you

-JB

Rewritten: 2/21/05

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I agree with Mairi, it has the type of flow that really goes well with punk music. Basic and to the point. I think you should try putting it to music and see how it comes together.

Hey Karhul, you have to remember that writing is a way for people to get their emotions and thoughts out of their heads without attacking anyone in the process (physically attacking). It's a good outlet for relief.

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Karhul, has it not registered to you that people write songs because they want to express a strong emotion that is troubling them and this is their only outlet? They can write as many sad/angry/ "negative" songs as they want, it has nothing to do with Christianity or any religion if you're angry or not.

:rockon:

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Yeah dude, you just have to remember that there are so many songs based on less 'favorable' topics, be it anger, sadness, what have you, but whatever the emotion is as long as it's presented strongly and passionately, then it rocks. I mean, even Zeppelin wrote songs about topics that weren't all bright and cheery.

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Just to remind everyone of the Creative Writing forum rules that are to be adhered to at all times:

"We know how hard it is to get published, here's an outlet for your writing skills. Tell a story, fact or fiction, at least a paragraph long about anything: music, your dog, your summer vacation.

If you would like to give feedback or comment on a submission, please restrict your post to constructive criticism and/or praise. (In other words, be nice. This is intended to be a safe outlet.)

:)

Forum Rules Apply"

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I think the poem is great. It's fantastic that you can express your emotions that way and hopefully it makes you feel a bit better about things.

I definitely think it could be a great punk/rock song! :thumbsup:

For the record, PM's can be a great way of communicating without letting everyone else know personal details... ;)

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Since the opposite of Love isn't Hate but Indifference/Apathy, this could be taken as "you bug me so much that I can't forget you." If you really want to get under another's skin, passive resistance, AKA Passive-Aggressive behavior is the ticket. I suspect that Randy Newman could put an interesting tune to this poem and it would play just fine on a G-rated movie with nobody the wiser. Keep it up, negative energy works best when turned to creation. :beatnik:

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