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My heartbeat was fighting to outrun the outlandish drum beat.

This is great imagery. You've painted a picture here instead of telling a story.

Such a sad piece. In the end it leaves me thinking that the person dying is laying blame at the feet of the one who let him/her go.

Overall, you've done a great job here. This should warrant a nice grade!:)

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:bow: Excellently written. Too sad that for so many your age, this story is not fiction.

I wish I'd seen this when first posted. Darlin' this is so good, and for me (as well as many others), very personal. Actually, it's made me shed a tear, in a good way. Thanks.

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