Bedtime Regrets

[lonelyday 0]

I wrote this for a creative writing assessment in highschool. 

Edited February 7 by lonelyday
taking writing offline

[Tenacious_Peaches 0]

Heart wrenching and beautifully written, honey.

[Jenny 2]

I like how the first line is repeated in the last paragraph. Nice. Very good effort!

[TheLizard 1]

I can feel the regretful tone. Excellent.

[Earth-Angel 0]

One of the best submissions in a long while. Beautifully written

[cyberjudge 0]

Excellently written. Too sad that for so many your age, this story is not fiction.

[Shawna 1]

My heartbeat was fighting to outrun the outlandish drum beat.

This is great imagery. You've painted a picture here instead of telling a story.

Such a sad piece. In the end it leaves me thinking that the person dying is laying blame at the feet of the one who let him/her go.

Overall, you've done a great job here. This should warrant a nice grade!

[lonelyday 0]

awww thanks for the feedback! It was a couple of years ago that I wrote it and I did get an A(or the new zealand equivalent anyway).

[Lucky 5]

Excellently written. Too sad that for so many your age, this story is not fiction.

I wish I'd seen this when first posted. Darlin' this is so good, and for me (as well as many others), very personal. Actually, it's made me shed a tear, in a good way. Thanks.

[Blue Fish 0]

It's so beautiful....