Rayzor Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 sorry, Jane, but the angel thing made me laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 Ray, laugh??? Why I don't understand, why would you laugh??? You know me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 That's why I had to laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 Ahhh....I guess I can't fool everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floydaholic Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 Should I be frightened??. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcM Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 I Wanna Be Your Dog - The Stooges So messed up I want you here In my room I want you here Now were gonna be face-to-face And Ill lay right down in my favorite place And now I wanna be your dog Now I wanna be your dog Now I wanna be your dog Well cmon Now Im ready to close my eyes And now Im ready to close my mind And now Im ready to feel your hand And lose my heart on the burning sands And now I wanna be your dog And now I wenna be your dog Now I wanna be your dog Well cmon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 Should I be frightened??. Of johnny,yes...of me...no way! I'm just a smart-azz chick who like to have fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floydaholic Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Of johnny,yes...of me...no way! I'm just a smart-azz chick who like to have fun! That's good to hear. :guitar: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 (edited) So Floyd.....how did it go...which song did you choose? Did it work? My best result was with 'Fool If You Think It's Over' (Chris Rea's version)...front door to nookey in about 2 minutes flat (so, about 5 minutes in all then? , anticipating BF's reply here). Recently...Made Up Lovesong by the Guillemots has proved a winner. What happened? Tell us do. Edited June 15, 2007 by Guest Overestimated sexual prowess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted June 17, 2007 Report Share Posted June 17, 2007 Point of order, johnnyg: it was my fellow Yorkshireman Gazza, not Floydaholic, who was trying to pull the bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gazza Posted June 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2007 Quick update and more advice.The lovely lady has succumbed to my wit and charm and we have been out four times now.Trouble now is having been married for the last 12 years and out of the game so to speak,Is it the fifth date where i try to slip my hand under her shirt or should i have done this by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted June 17, 2007 Report Share Posted June 17, 2007 Ok now may be a good time to put on ZZ TOP's Pearl Necklace and take it from there.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floydaholic Posted June 17, 2007 Report Share Posted June 17, 2007 Point of order, johnnyg: it was my fellow Yorkshireman Gazza, not Floydaholic, who was trying to pull the bird. Sometimes I wish that I was in his position with a girl though. You know, the whole thing with her liking him back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted June 17, 2007 Report Share Posted June 17, 2007 (edited) Ok now may be a good time to put on ZZ TOP's Pearl Necklace and take it from there.... Saucepot. Well, if he isn't going to end up playing Willy and the Hand Jive by himself I think a bit of hand on shirt action is required by about now. But, to what soundtrack? I Want To Make Free (Queen)? Love Shirts (Everley Bros)? I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coco-nuts (various)? Keep us informed of the progress (or lack of it)! Edited June 17, 2007 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 Jimmy Buffett had the right idea....Lets Get Drunk and... or Queen with Get Down Make Love.... or from the one and only James Brown, Get Up (I feel like being a) Sex Machine she should get the message with these...if not might be time to move on to another chick... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 Quick update and more advice.The lovely lady has succumbed to my wit and charm and we have been out four times now.Trouble now is having been married for the last 12 years and out of the game so to speak,Is it the fifth date where i try to slip my hand under her shirt or should i have done this by now. Well, we don't even know whether you've snogged yet. If not, it might be a bit presumptuous to start tittilating her tumblers. If you've smooched, but not gone any further, you might try kissing her gently on the neck. If she emits an ecstatic moan, this could be the right moment to take a chance on juggling with her jumper-puppies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 If she recoils with horror, hits you with a toaster causing profusely-bleeding head-wounds, you might want to give it a week or two before trying again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 Jimmy Buffett had the right idea....Lets Get Drunk and... or Queen with Get Down Make Love.... or from the one and only James Brown, Get Up (I feel like being a) Sex Machine she should get the message with these...if not might be time to move on to another chick... Jeez, whatever happened to the art of seduction??? This strikes me as a high-risk strategy that nails his colours rather too firmly to the mast. We don't even know whether she's up for it yet. My suggestion: invite her round for a meal: something which can be prepared in advance. Not a microwave ready-meal, no. Something that will take an hour or so to heat up in the oven, or can be left bubbling on a low-heat. Have a couple of bottles of wine; one ready to drink, the other chilling or "breathing" (depending whether white or red). A good hour or so before you intend to eat, retire to the lounge, where you have primed an album of sultry, sensual music, but which betrays no overt intention. Suggestion: Ingrid Chavez "May 19th 1991". Ideal conditions for a giggle, a smooch and well...who knows where it might lead? Do you have a two-seater settee? You could try sitting down first, then, as she's making to sit down, (just for a laugh), hutch up so that she accidentally lands on top of you. This way, if you get a bit fresh, perhaps a bit ahead of yourself (in your lady-friends perception), you always have the "I don't know what came over me, I just find you so damned irresistible" stuff to fall back on. Alternatively, since the lady is a music fan, have you considered inviting her round for an exclusive disco,(just the two of you)? Same deal with the wine, but then: dim the lights, switch on the disco ball (a kids' disco ball can be procured for as little as £15 new, even cheaper on Ebay), boogie on to a prepared mix CD of disco/funk/soul classics, some of which may have suggestive raunchy content; this is where JB's "Sex Machine" might come into its own. However: treat these as a bit of fun, rather than a rutting ritual. Try not to get too knackered, slip a disc, etc. About 45 minutes in to the Mix-disc, the cunningly primed 12" version of Donna Summer's "Love To Love You, Baby" will have her eating out of your hand. If you don't at least get to squeeze her buns, kiss the neck, cup her Bristols, etc. now, then let's face it, it probably aint gonna happen. Just slip it in subtly and Bob's yer uncle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 (edited) BF You are clearly getting some sort of vicarious thrill from this thread. I, on the other hand, am proferring sound advice from the perspective of the altruistic and sexually secure savant. Please temper your incontinent fantasies with a little restraint....Blue Fish may read this! Edited June 18, 2007 by Guest not rude enough to BF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 Oh, really? A "vicarious thrill", eh? And there was I thinking I was showing a friendly, helpful interest. At least I'm not exploiting the thread to crow about my own sexual prowess, taking every opportunity to highlight the ease of past conquests. Oh, yes, don't think we haven't noticed the trend... For "altruistic and sexually secure savant", read "irredeemably smug twat". } Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 How I've missed you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Fish Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 Tut, boys...do they EVER grow up?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 BLOOF, no they don't for the most part, but that is what makes them so much fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 Well, well... it's the silver-tongued cavalier himself. How's the escorting business? Still working for the same agency? Or are you with "Ageing Lotharios Unlimited" now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 Bloof...I was merely trying to save your sensitive soul from the depredations of a potentially predatory fantasist...his talk of fumbling with 'jumper puppies' just pushed me over the edge...children might be reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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