Jump to content

Ask the opposite sex


Uncle Joe
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Anthropoligists maintain it is the color most associated with blood-engorged sexual stimulation.

seems like I read something a while back at a book at my parents' house. It was about how fashions started, etc. The thing with the lipstick is supposed to be about making the lips look like the sexual bits of women, while the breasts/cleavage are supposed to resemble the buttocks. Thus insinuating, I suppose, that anyone looking upon a red-lipstick-wearing woman's face and breasts, he would begin screaming and beating his chest, like any healthy male chimpanzee would do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everyone oughta know that one because conversations whilst waiting in the check-out stand @ the local grocery store become frightfully boring day in & day out. The next time they ask whether I want paper or plastic I'll simply say:

"Bonobo"

It's truly something to consider.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a feeling, starting tomorrow, my life will be more interesting, too! Especially when I ask the stock-clerk, "Where I can find the haggis?" When he asks me what haggis is I'll either say Marc from SongFacts or:

A traditional pudding made of the heart, liver, etc. of a sheep or calf, minced with suet and oatmeal, seasoned and boiled in the stomach of the animal.

Yummy!!!

My only wonder is which bag will he pick; paper, plastic or the closest bucket to him?

:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

why the hell are you women so stupid every single woman ive ever encountered in my life has been a b**** to me cuz shes always demanding some kind of new shirt or skirt or pair of boots or animal or sexual favor its like im enslaved to whatever the hell they want and seriously women are the reason society is as bad as it is i mean theyre the ones practically taking off all their clothes just cuz peolpe tell them to do it and for what some random gawker ogling your body for hours on end and dying to get a chance with you i swear theres a reason why you dont see men on billboards and on magazine covers its cuz ITS STUPID!!!!!! and women cant seem to understand that theres a point where you have to stop taking other peoples crap and do what you want to do meanwhile all the women i know are still caught in that mindset that these new clothes will make you that much better of a person and why do you always have to make me pay for it i mean its not that im not happy to do it but its like you just tell me to get you one more dress one more blouse one more twopiece and you never stop really the money i dont care about even though im barely making it by already its just STOP GETTING TOLD WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You just haven't met the right one yet, Nammy. I used to feel just as negative about men and marriage until I met the esteemed Mr. Peaches. I have gone through the most hellacious couple of months and I don't think I would have survived without him. Finding someone who will support you and take care of you and treat you as an equal is the stuff that life is made of, honey.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

why the hell are you women so stupid every single woman ive ever encountered in my life has been a b**** to me cuz shes always demanding some kind of new shirt or skirt or pair of boots or animal or sexual favor its like im enslaved to whatever the hell they want and seriously women are the reason society is as bad as it is i mean theyre the ones practically taking off all their clothes just cuz peolpe tell them to do it and for what some random gawker ogling your body for hours on end and dying to get a chance with you i swear theres a reason why you dont see men on billboards and on magazine covers its cuz ITS STUPID!!!!!! and women cant seem to understand that theres a point where you have to stop taking other peoples crap and do what you want to do meanwhile all the women i know are still caught in that mindset that these new clothes will make you that much better of a person and why do you always have to make me pay for it i mean its not that im not happy to do it but its like you just tell me to get you one more dress one more blouse one more twopiece and you never stop really the money i dont care about even though im barely making it by already its just STOP GETTING TOLD WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!

I can see your point, though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This ones for you, Nam:

all my friends are married

every Tom and Dick and Harry

you must be strong

to go it alone

here's to the bachelors

and the bowery bums

and those who feel that they're the ones

who are better off without a wife

CHORUS

I like to sleep until the crack of noon

midnight howlin' at the moon

goin' out when I wanto, comin' home when I please

I don't have to ask permission

if I want to go out fishing

and I never have to ask for the keys

never been no Valentino

had a girl who lived in Reno

left me for a trumpet player

didn't get me down

he was wanted for assault

though he said it weren't his fault

well the coppers rode him right

out of town

CHORUS

selfish about my privacy

as long as I can be with me

we get along so well I can't believe

I love to chew the fat with folks

and listen to all your dirty jokes

I'm so thankful for these friends

I do receive

CHORUS

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share


×
×
  • Create New...