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A few years ago some wise old SFer started a thread by this name to allow the opposite sexes to ask questions and learn about each other. That thread disappeared some time ago never to be found.

Recent posts in other threads have indicated that this thread is needed more today than ever. So, in the interest of better human understanding among all SFers I am reviving the topic.

I'll kick it off with this little entry which I had posted in the original thread a few years ago. Ladies, it's OK, don't thank me.

*A MAN'S ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?

It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.

2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?

Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability,

we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?

We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.

4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?

We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.

5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?

You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner. Don't ask, don't tell. Shhhh.

6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?

Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.

7. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?

C'mon, do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like

rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

8. WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?

Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end?

We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest...

Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the

other hand is a whole other story. Especially if there's a good game on.

9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?

Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on

this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are

born with this innate ability.

10. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY "I LOVE YOU?"

Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.

11. WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?

Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well. Don't blush. You know it does.

12. WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?

We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.

And ladies, when we're sitting and appear to be staring out into space please don't ask us what we're thinking. If we wanted you to know what we're thinking we'd be talking wouldn't we? Right. So don't ask. Besides, we're hardly ever thinking anything at all.

13. WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?

Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you'll pick it up.

14. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?

This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you

know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.

15. WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?

It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? Err... buying?

There. I hope these 15 Q&A gems will help you ladies to understand us better. Now that the ball's rolling I invite all SFer's, male and female alike, to join this open forum and discuss what makes us different and what makes us the same.

* Thanks to BuffaloJokes.

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Apparently our sense of smell , as well . I saw an experiment on Discovery channel where a group of women were asked to wear a t-shirt for a few days . A man was then asked to sniff each shirt and decide which odor he found the most pleasing . Interestingly , the man always chose the shirt of the woman who , through a DNA test , was the most genetically compatible for him in terms of producing children with the best disease or other sickness resistances.

So if hubby is just eyeballing that girl across the room - don't sweat it . Now , if you notice him later giving her a good sniffing , then you should be worried ! :)

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Yes, please, boys, do you have an answer for this question? :shades:

Isn't that a Pride thing? Men have to be able to do anything they start out to do, like getting to a place, weather or not they are on time is not really importent, what IS importent is the fact they got there THEMSELFS without having to rely on others to do it for them..or something along those lines... :P

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