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How cold is it where you are?


Mike

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you think it's cold? it's all a matter of additude...

+10°C (50F) - the people in Helsinki start up their radiators.

the Lapps (inhabitants of Lappland) plant some flowers

+5°C (41F) - the Lapps take a sunbath (if the sun is actually above the horizon)

+2°C (35F) - Italian cars won't start anymore

0°C (32F) distilled water freezes

-1°C (30F) - your breath gets visible, time to plan a vacation in Spain

the Lapps eat ice-cream and drink cold beer

-4°C (25F) - the cat wants to go into bed with you

-10°C (14F) - time to plan a vacation in Africa

the Lapps go swimming

-12°C (10F) - too cold for snow

-15°C (5F) - American cars won't start

-18°C (0F) - the car owners in Helsinki start the heaters

-20°C (-4F) - the breath gets audible

-22°C (-7F) - French cars won't start.

too cold for ice-skating

-23°C (-9F) - politicians start to commiserate homeless people

-24°C (-11F) - German cars won't start

-26°C (-15F) - your breath can be used to build igloos

-29°C (-20F) - the cat wants to come under your pyjama

-30°C (-22F) - Japanese cars won't start.

the Lapp curses, kicks the tire and starts his old Lada

-31°C (-24F) - too cold to kiss - the lips freeze together.

the Lapplandian(?) Football Team starts its Spring Training

-35°C (-31F) - time to plan a two week long hot bath.

the Lapps shovel snow from the roof

-39°C (-38F) - Mercury freezes. Too cold to think.

the Lapps close the upper button of their shirt.

-40°C (-40F) - The car wants to come into the bed with you

the Lapps put on a sweatshirt

-45°C (-49F) - The Lapps close their toilet window

-50°C (-58F) - the Sea Lions are leaving Greenland

the Lapps change their finger gloves for mittens

-70°C (-94F) - The Polar Bears are leaving the North Pole.

the University of Rovaniemi organizes a cross country skiing trip

-75°C (-103F) - Santa Claus leaves the Arctic Circle.

the Lapps put down the earflaps from their caps

-250°C (-418F) - Alcohol freezes.

the Lapp is pissed.

-258°C (-432F) - Helium gets liquid.

-270°C (-454F) - Hell freezes.

-275.15°C (-459.67F) Absolute Zero. No movement of elementary particles.

the Lapp admits: "yes, it's slightly chilly today. Now gimme another frozen booze on a stick"

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I was once asked if I'd like some ice coffee too at a friend's house, said yes and got coffee with ice cubes in it. It wasn't really my idea of ice coffee. :P

I make that for myself in the summertime at 7-11. It is good, so long as you drink it before too much ice melts.

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