MindCrime Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Top Ten Things That Make You Not Want to Leave a Tip to a Restaurant Waitress and/or Waiter 10. When she/he asks if you're familiar on how to get rid of roaches on your plate without spoiling the food. 9. Don't tip the bathroom attendant if they forget to wipe. 8. When they can't remember the names of everyone at my table. I just hate that! 7. When you ask them, "What's the soup du jour?", and they tell you, "It's the soup of the day." 6. When they trip and spill your food on you as they are bringing it out 5. When they bring an alcoholic drink that doesn't have much booze in it. 4. The price of the meal! 3.There are flies buzzing 'round her head. 2. When you ask, "Who's the chef working?" and she/he replies, "General Electric" (a microwave) 1. At Hooters if they don't do a jiggly-dance for you when served. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) 8) 7) 6) 5) 4) 3) 2) 1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otokichi Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) Do an "I Am Curious (Yellow)" coupling in front of the guard post of your fearless leader's official residence. 8) 7) 6) 5) 4) 3) 2) 1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) Do an "I Am Curious (Yellow)" coupling in front of the guard post of your fearless leader's official residence. 8) Attend your HS Reunion dressed a la Uncle Joe. 7) 6) 5) 4) 3) 2) 1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) Do an "I Am Curious (Yellow)" coupling in front of the guard post of your fearless leader's official residence. 8) Attend your HS Reunion dressed a la Uncle Joe. 7) Choking Rosie O'Donnell until she turns blue and passes out. 6) 5) 4) 3) 2) 1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 7) Choking Rosie O'Donnell until she turns blue and passes out. That assumes you could get your hands all the way around where a neck should be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberjudge Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 7) Choking Rosie O'Donnell until she turns blue and passes out. I've met Rosie in person and I really find that comment distasteful and not hilarious at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Somebody must make a rope that's long enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 I've met Rosie in person and I really find that comment distasteful and not hilarious at all. The Category said "that others would find hilarious"....not EVERYBODY. Sorry, man. She just makes a good target. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 I've met Rosie in person and I really find that comment distasteful and not hilarious at all. During her career, Rosie O'Donnell has herself publically - and many times before a very large audience - laid so many people open with "distasteful" and "not hilarious" comments that one might find it difficult to generate much sympathy for her, as she stands on the receiving end of Sammy's (and mine) retalitory jibe, 'Judge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) Do an "I Am Curious (Yellow)" coupling in front of the guard post of your fearless leader's official residence. 8) Attend your HS Reunion dressed a la Uncle Joe. 7) Choking Rosie O'Donnell until she turns blue and passes out. 6) Spanking my pet monkey 5) 4) 3) 2) 1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) Do an "I Am Curious (Yellow)" coupling in front of the guard post of your fearless leader's official residence. 8) Attend your HS Reunion dressed a la Uncle Joe. 7) Choking Rosie O'Donnell until she turns blue and passes out. 6) Spanking my pet monkey 5) Smoking crack with Marion Barry. 4) 3) 2) 1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted February 4, 2010 Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) Do an "I Am Curious (Yellow)" coupling in front of the guard post of your fearless leader's official residence. 8) Attend your HS Reunion dressed a la Uncle Joe. 7) Choking Rosie O'Donnell until she turns blue and passes out. 6) Spanking my pet monkey 5) Smoking crack with Marion Barry. 4) Videotaping somebody spanking their monkey after smoking crack with Marion Barry. 3) 2) 1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phil Posted February 5, 2010 Report Share Posted February 5, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) Do an "I Am Curious (Yellow)" coupling in front of the guard post of your fearless leader's official residence. 8) Attend your HS Reunion dressed a la Uncle Joe. 7) Choking Rosie O'Donnell until she turns blue and passes out. 6) Spanking my pet monkey 5) Smoking crack with Marion Barry. 4) Videotaping somebody spanking their monkey after smoking crack with Marion Barry. 3) Videotaping somebody spanking their monkey, after smoking crack with Marion Barry and then go to 7-11 to get my slurpee on. 2) 1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otokichi Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) Do an "I Am Curious (Yellow)" coupling in front of the guard post of your fearless leader's official residence. 8) Attend your HS Reunion dressed a la Uncle Joe. 7) Choking Rosie O'Donnell until she turns blue and passes out. 6) Spanking my pet monkey 5) Smoking crack with Marion Barry. 4) Videotaping somebody spanking their monkey after smoking crack with Marion Barry. 3) Videotaping somebody spanking their monkey, after smoking crack with Marion Barry and then go to 7-11 to get my slurpee on. 2) Going to the tax office clad only in a raincoat, and, opening same, daring them to seize your assets. (Extra points if you Moon them!) 1) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 Top 10 things that would get you arrested, that others would find hilarious. 10) Let the dog take over the wheel, while you scratch yourself. 9) Do an "I Am Curious (Yellow)" coupling in front of the guard post of your fearless leader's official residence. 8) Attend your HS Reunion dressed a la Uncle Joe. 7) Choking Rosie O'Donnell until she turns blue and passes out. 6) Spanking my pet monkey 5) Smoking crack with Marion Barry. 4) Videotaping somebody spanking their monkey after smoking crack with Marion Barry. 3) Videotaping somebody spanking their monkey, after smoking crack with Marion Barry and then go to 7-11 to get my slurpee on. 2) Going to the tax office clad only in a raincoat, and, opening same, daring them to seize your assets. (Extra points if you Moon them!) 1) Two words....DONKEY SHOW! ================================================= Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials That Should Have Been 10. Letterman and Leno fighting with swords and shields, and the one left standing gets to date Oprah. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted February 9, 2010 Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 1) Two words....DONKEY SHOW! You've seen Clerks II then? ________________________________________________ Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials That Should Have Been 10. Letterman and Leno fighting with swords and shields, and the one left standing gets to date Oprah. 9. Tim Tebow tackling his mother and she hits her head and goes into involuntary spasms and seizures, and Timmy stands there in horror shaking his hands and crying like he did the first time he found out Santa wasn't real. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2010 You've seen Clerks II then? No, I've seen the donkey show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberjudge Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials That Should Have Been 10. Letterman and Leno fighting with swords and shields, and the one left standing gets to date Oprah. 9. Tim Tebow tackling his mother and she hits her head and goes into involuntary spasms and seizures, and Timmy stands there in horror shaking his hands and crying like he did the first time he found out Santa wasn't real. 8. Betty White sacking an 85-year-old Brett Favre, slamming him into the turf and trash-talking him by taunting "you play like Abe Vigoda". 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otokichi Posted February 10, 2010 Report Share Posted February 10, 2010 Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials That Should Have Been 10. Letterman and Leno fighting with swords and shields, and the one left standing gets to date Oprah. 9. Tim Tebow tackling his mother and she hits her head and goes into involuntary spasms and seizures, and Timmy stands there in horror shaking his hands and crying like he did the first time he found out Santa wasn't real. 8. Betty White sacking an 85-year-old Brett Favre, slamming him into the turf and trash-talking him by taunting "you play like Abe Vigoda". 7. Mike Rowe, doing his best "Bear Grylls," delivering a Ford F-150 pickup to Pitcairn island...without a boat. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted February 11, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2010 Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials That Should Have Been 10. Letterman and Leno fighting with swords and shields, and the one left standing gets to date Oprah. 9. Tim Tebow tackling his mother and she hits her head and goes into involuntary spasms and seizures, and Timmy stands there in horror shaking his hands and crying like he did the first time he found out Santa wasn't real. 8. Betty White sacking an 85-year-old Brett Favre, slamming him into the turf and trash-talking him by taunting "you play like Abe Vigoda". 7. Mike Rowe, doing his best "Bear Grylls," delivering a Ford F-150 pickup to Pitcairn island...without a boat. 6. The little E-Trade babies doing a commercial for Wild Turkey. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberjudge Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials That Should Have Been 10. Letterman and Leno fighting with swords and shields, and the one left standing gets to date Oprah. 9. Tim Tebow tackling his mother and she hits her head and goes into involuntary spasms and seizures, and Timmy stands there in horror shaking his hands and crying like he did the first time he found out Santa wasn't real. 8. Betty White sacking an 85-year-old Brett Favre, slamming him into the turf and trash-talking him by taunting "you play like Abe Vigoda". 7. Mike Rowe, doing his best "Bear Grylls," delivering a Ford F-150 pickup to Pitcairn island...without a boat. 6. The little E-Trade babies doing a commercial for Wild Turkey. 5. The Budweiser Clydesdales singing "I Wear No Pants". 4. 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials That Should Have Been 10. Letterman and Leno fighting with swords and shields, and the one left standing gets to date Oprah. 9. Tim Tebow tackling his mother and she hits her head and goes into involuntary spasms and seizures, and Timmy stands there in horror shaking his hands and crying like he did the first time he found out Santa wasn't real. 8. Betty White sacking an 85-year-old Brett Favre, slamming him into the turf and trash-talking him by taunting "you play like Abe Vigoda". 7. Mike Rowe, doing his best "Bear Grylls," delivering a Ford F-150 pickup to Pitcairn island...without a boat. 6. The little E-Trade babies doing a commercial for Wild Turkey. 5. The Budweiser Clydesdales singing "I Wear No Pants". 4. "Tiger Woods Golf 2010: Pick your own course, your own clubs, your own caddy, even your own money-grubbing harlot! From EA Sports - It's in the game!" 3. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindCrime Posted February 12, 2010 Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials That Should Have Been 10. Letterman and Leno fighting with swords and shields, and the one left standing gets to date Oprah. 9. Tim Tebow tackling his mother and she hits her head and goes into involuntary spasms and seizures, and Timmy stands there in horror shaking his hands and crying like he did the first time he found out Santa wasn't real. 8. Betty White sacking an 85-year-old Brett Favre, slamming him into the turf and trash-talking him by taunting "you play like Abe Vigoda". 7. Mike Rowe, doing his best "Bear Grylls," delivering a Ford F-150 pickup to Pitcairn island...without a boat. 6. The little E-Trade babies doing a commercial for Wild Turkey. 5. The Budweiser Clydesdales singing "I Wear No Pants". 4. "Tiger Woods Golf 2010: Pick your own course, your own clubs, your own caddy, even your own money-grubbing harlot! From EA Sports - It's in the game!" 3. The Doritos dog with the "no bark collar" going around town and using it for anything else, from robbing bones at the grave to mating with bitches at the kennel. 2. 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2010 Top Ten Super Bowl Commercials That Should Have Been 10. Letterman and Leno fighting with swords and shields, and the one left standing gets to date Oprah. 9. Tim Tebow tackling his mother and she hits her head and goes into involuntary spasms and seizures, and Timmy stands there in horror shaking his hands and crying like he did the first time he found out Santa wasn't real. 8. Betty White sacking an 85-year-old Brett Favre, slamming him into the turf and trash-talking him by taunting "you play like Abe Vigoda". 7. Mike Rowe, doing his best "Bear Grylls," delivering a Ford F-150 pickup to Pitcairn island...without a boat. 6. The little E-Trade babies doing a commercial for Wild Turkey. 5. The Budweiser Clydesdales singing "I Wear No Pants". 4. "Tiger Woods Golf 2010: Pick your own course, your own clubs, your own caddy, even your own money-grubbing harlot! From EA Sports - It's in the game!" 3. The Doritos dog with the "no bark collar" going around town and using it for anything else, from robbing bones at the grave to mating with bitches at the kennel. 2. The Manning Brothers playing full-contact football versus the Olsen Twins 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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