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Posted

Top 10 excuses to get out of work

10. I took Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac, I can't get off the toilet, but I feel good about it.

9. Klingon Sabbath

8. "There's just nothing to report in the music world today."

7. "Really, boss... my throat is awful scratchy and the snow is piled up too high in the driveway for me to get out with my four-wheel drive that suddenly stopped working; also my fever is so high that the digital thermometer kept reading, "Discs need a chiropractor."

6. My cat has asthma.

5. I forgot

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Posted

Top 10 excuses to get out of work

10. I took Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac, I can't get off the toilet, but I feel good about it.

9. Klingon Sabbath

8. "There's just nothing to report in the music world today."

7. "Really, boss... my throat is awful scratchy and the snow is piled up too high in the driveway for me to get out with my four-wheel drive that suddenly stopped working; also my fever is so high that the digital thermometer kept reading, "Discs need a chiropractor."

6. My cat has asthma.

5. I forgot

4. I was abducted by aliens ;)

3.

2.

1.

Posted

Top 10 excuses to get out of work

10. I took Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac, I can't get off the toilet, but I feel good about it.

9. Klingon Sabbath

8. "There's just nothing to report in the music world today."

7. "Really, boss... my throat is awful scratchy and the snow is piled up too high in the driveway for me to get out with my four-wheel drive that suddenly stopped working; also my fever is so high that the digital thermometer kept reading, "Discs need a chiropractor."

6. My cat has asthma.

5. I forgot

4. I was abducted by aliens

3. I'm preparing a Top Secret Report for the Big Boss.

2.

1.

Posted

Top 10 excuses to get out of work

10. I took Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac, I can't get off the toilet, but I feel good about it.

9. Klingon Sabbath

8. "There's just nothing to report in the music world today."

7. "Really, boss... my throat is awful scratchy and the snow is piled up too high in the driveway for me to get out with my four-wheel drive that suddenly stopped working; also my fever is so high that the digital thermometer kept reading, "Discs need a chiropractor."

6. My cat has asthma.

5. I forgot

4. I was abducted by aliens

3. I'm preparing a Top Secret Report for the Big Boss.

2. I'm calling in well.

1.

Posted (edited)

Top 10 excuses to get out of work

10. I took Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac, I can't get off the toilet, but I feel good about it.

9. Klingon Sabbath

8. "There's just nothing to report in the music world today."

7. "Really, boss... my throat is awful scratchy and the snow is piled up too high in the driveway for me to get out with my four-wheel drive that suddenly stopped working; also my fever is so high that the digital thermometer kept reading, "Discs need a chiropractor."

6. My cat has asthma.

5. I forgot

4. I was abducted by aliens

3. I'm preparing a Top Secret Report for the Big Boss.

2. I'm calling in well.

1. I'm in the middle of an important download

__________________________

Top Ten Riskiest Jobs

10. Grizzly tagger

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Edited by Guest
Posted

Top Ten Riskiest Jobs

10. Grizzly tagger

9. President of the USA

8. Slander and innuendo abound from a bias liberal media if you're a Republican Presidential candidate.

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Posted

Top Ten Riskiest Jobs

10. Grizzly tagger

9. President of the USA

8. Slander and innuendo abound from a bias liberal media if you're a Republican Presidential candidate.

7. Ice Road Zamboni Driver

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Posted

Top Ten Riskiest Jobs

10. Grizzly tagger

9. President of the USA

8. Slander and innuendo abound from a bias liberal media if you're a Republican Presidential candidate.

7. Ice Road Zamboni Driver

6. Charlie Sheen's PR manager

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Posted

Top Ten Riskiest Jobs

10. Grizzly tagger

9. President of the USA

8. Slander and innuendo abound from a bias liberal media if you're a Republican Presidential candidate.

7. Ice Road Zamboni Driver

6. Charlie Sheen's PR manager

5. Gator Dentist

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Posted

Top Ten Riskiest Jobs

10. Grizzly tagger

9. President of the USA

8. Slander and innuendo abound from a bias liberal media if you're a Republican Presidential candidate.

7. Ice Road Zamboni Driver

6. Charlie Sheen's PR manager

5. Gator Dentist

4. True lumberjack (ax-man, chainsaw-man, faller, yarder or climber)

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Posted

Top Ten Riskiest Jobs

10. Grizzly tagger

9. President of the USA

8. Slander and innuendo abound from a bias liberal media if you're a Republican Presidential candidate.

7. Ice Road Zamboni Driver

6. Charlie Sheen's PR manager

5. Gator Dentist

4. True lumberjack (ax-man, chainsaw-man, faller, yarder or climber)

3. Mayor of a Mexican border town

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Posted

Top Ten Riskiest Jobs

10. Grizzly tagger

9. President of the USA

8. Slander and innuendo abound from a bias liberal media if you're a Republican Presidential candidate.

7. Ice Road Zamboni Driver

6. Charlie Sheen's PR manager

5. Gator Dentist

4. True lumberjack (ax-man, chainsaw-man, faller, yarder or climber)

3. Mayor of a Mexican border town

2. Greek social services administrator

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Posted

Top Ten Riskiest Jobs

10. Grizzly tagger

9. President of the USA

8. Slander and innuendo abound from a bias liberal media if you're a Republican Presidential candidate.

7. Ice Road Zamboni Driver

6. Charlie Sheen's PR manager

5. Gator Dentist

4. True lumberjack (ax-man, chainsaw-man, faller, yarder or climber)

3. Mayor of a Mexican border town

2. Greek social services administrator

1. New York City public school teacher

================================================

Top Ten Good Points About the NFL Lockout

10. Hardly any self-glamorizing air time for Terrell Owens.

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Posted

Top Ten Good Points About the NFL Lockout

10. Hardly any self-glamorizing air time for Terrell Owens.

9. Gameday prices are stable ... for now.

8. Players can't complain about an 18 game schedule this coming season.

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Posted

Top Ten Good Points About the NFL Lockout

10. Hardly any self-glamorizing air time for Terrell Owens.

9. Gameday prices are stable ... for now.

8. Players can't complain about an 18 game schedule this coming season.

7. More time for the Cowboys' players to commit crimes and keep them out of playoff contention.

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Posted

Top Ten Good Points About the NFL Lockout

10. Hardly any self-glamorizing air time for Terrell Owens.

9. Gameday prices are stable ... for now.

8. Players can't complain about an 18 game schedule this coming season.

7. More time for the Cowboys' players to commit crimes and keep them out of playoff contention.

6. If the lockout continues into fall, Sammy's Saturday night dates with various Dolphin's cheerleaders can last well past noon on Sunday.

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Posted

Top Ten Good Points About the NFL Lockout

10. Hardly any self-glamorizing air time for Terrell Owens.

9. Gameday prices are stable ... for now.

8. Players can't complain about an 18 game schedule this coming season.

7. More time for the Cowboys' players to commit crimes and keep them out of playoff contention.

6. If the lockout continues into fall, Sammy's Saturday night dates with various Dolphin's cheerleaders can last well past noon on Sunday.

5. A chance for the NFL players to bond with their NBA compatriots.

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Posted

Top Ten Good Points About the NFL Lockout

10. Hardly any self-glamorizing air time for Terrell Owens.

9. Gameday prices are stable ... for now.

8. Players can't complain about an 18 game schedule this coming season.

7. More time for the Cowboys' players to commit crimes and keep them out of playoff contention.

6. If the lockout continues into fall, Sammy's Saturday night dates with various Dolphin's cheerleaders can last well past noon on Sunday.

5. A chance for the NFL players to bond with their NBA compatriots.

4. All your mooching friends won't be showing up at your house empty-handed every Sunday afternoon, drinking all your beer and eating all your Doritos.

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Posted

Top Ten Good Points About the NFL Lockout

10. Hardly any self-glamorizing air time for Terrell Owens.

9. Gameday prices are stable ... for now.

8. Players can't complain about an 18 game schedule this coming season.

7. More time for the Cowboys' players to commit crimes and keep them out of playoff contention.

6. If the lockout continues into fall, Sammy's Saturday night dates with various Dolphin's cheerleaders can last well past noon on Sunday.

5. A chance for the NFL players to bond with their NBA compatriots.

4. All your mooching friends won't be showing up at your house empty-handed every Sunday afternoon, drinking all your beer and eating all your Doritos.

3. More time to do chores around the house on the weekends.

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1.

Posted

Top Ten Good Points About the NFL Lockout

10. Hardly any self-glamorizing air time for Terrell Owens.

9. Gameday prices are stable ... for now.

8. Players can't complain about an 18 game schedule this coming season.

7. More time for the Cowboys' players to commit crimes and keep them out of playoff contention.

6. If the lockout continues into fall, Sammy's Saturday night dates with various Dolphin's cheerleaders can last well past noon on Sunday.

5. A chance for the NFL players to bond with their NBA compatriots.

4. All your mooching friends won't be showing up at your house empty-handed every Sunday afternoon, drinking all your beer and eating all your Doritos.

3. More time to do chores around the house on the weekends.

2. More European soccer and Australian rules football to enjoy!

1.

Posted

Top Ten Good Points About the NFL Lockout

10. Hardly any self-glamorizing air time for Terrell Owens.

9. Gameday prices are stable ... for now.

8. Players can't complain about an 18 game schedule this coming season.

7. More time for the Cowboys' players to commit crimes and keep them out of playoff contention.

6. If the lockout continues into fall, Sammy's Saturday night dates with various Dolphin's cheerleaders can last well past noon on Sunday.

5. A chance for the NFL players to bond with their NBA compatriots.

4. All your mooching friends won't be showing up at your house empty-handed every Sunday afternoon, drinking all your beer and eating all your Doritos.

3. More time to do chores around the house on the weekends.

2. More European soccer and Australian rules football to enjoy!

1. No more aggravation from official replays. No more aggravation from official replays. No more aggravation from official replays ..

________________________

Top Ten Suggestions for an 11th Commandment

10. Thou shalt not rationalize committing any of the previous ten (except for that one about the sabbath, kinda)

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Posted

Top Ten Suggestions for an 11th Commandment

10. Thou shalt not rationalize committing any of the previous ten (except for that one about the sabbath, kinda)

9. Thou shalt post online with coherence and never post after too much drink.

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Posted

Top Ten Suggestions for an 11th Commandment

10. Thou shalt not rationalize committing any of the previous ten (except for that one about the sabbath, kinda)

9. Thou shalt post online with coherence and never post after too much drink.

8. Thou shalt not play with funny rocks.

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