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Who Would You Be?


Sweet Jane 61
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Stevie Nicks on the female side... I've always loved her writing and voice... and just her presence...

Definitely Roger on the male side. I've never seen a show where someone is so obviously having the time of their life on stage - EVERY TIME. His sense of humor is outrageous and it comes through in his unbelievably intelligent and humorous lyrics, and he's quite the musical genius.

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Stevie Nicks for me also. I'm sure I've written this somewhere else, actually I think I may have said I'd love to dress like Stevie Nicks for the Songfacts International Band tour. I seriously love the way she dresses, and she looks so fantastic at her age. Her lyrics are so beautiful and her spirit so strong. But mainly I just want the crushed velvet, gypsy lace and to be called Belladonna :D

city-stevie-nicks.jpg

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You´re right, they don´t look happy at all... and I guess they were not that happy after all, otherwise they wouldn´t have had such trouble with drugs. Everybody knows about Janis Joplin´s addictions, and Grace Slick was an alcoholic for a great part of her life.

You can be happy and have fun with dope as long as it doesn´t ruin your life. I believe that if you let it happen, you were not so happy...

No one can be happy. You can taste happiness at some moments, but these moments will dissolve like tears in the rain. And all you can do is wait for the next one, for your next dose of bliss ("Another flashing chance at bliss", in Jim Morrison´s words). And yes, you can ruin your life, as Janis did, searching for that. What makes artists like Janis and Grace so great is their talent to make us taste bliss too. These two ladies have given me lots of fun and good times!

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I've read a lot of weird shi* in the 41 some-odd years I've been around, but that there skates right up to the edge of the weirdness canyon. Like, if you are 21 years old, ok, that's kinda on the cool side. But I think you said you were 40+? Not that that is bad, but we're talking like, not 21, a bit of sag, perhaps an errant hair, and skin tags?

I'm thinkin' maybe one of those "Kinder Eggs" with the little plastic car in the middle might be nice, no?

Ken.

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Shut up, Shawna! Where do I sign up? Do I have to pay extra if I have super large mammaries? :laughing:

Rodney Carrington

Momma's Got Her Boobs Out

I rember way back when i was just a boy,

goin places with my mom and dad,

it used to scare me to death how momma used to act

after six or seven beers she's had.

We were sittin' at a table when momma got disabled,

all the liquor runnin to her head,

and soon I got to chokin daddy wasn't jokin' when he grabbed me by the arm and said

Don't look now, Momma's got her boobs out

showing everybody in town,

our faces turnin' red we were wishin we were dead,

there where people standing all around.

When momma gets to drinking there ain't much thinkin,

there's nothing anybody can do,

you just hope and pray there never comes a day when Momma's out drinkin with you

Well we got her in the truck and we started drivin' home

when Momma said she had to go,

Daddy pulled it over,

we were standing on the shoulder while Momma's puttin' on a show

Well he started up the truck

and momma stood up with her pants still around her knees,

when we heard Momma holler

If ya'll give me a dollar well I'll let y'all take a peek at these.

Don't look now, Momma's got her boobs out

showing everybody in town,

our faces turnin' red we were wishin we were dead,

there where people standing all around.

When Momma gets to drinking there ain't much thinkin,

there's nothing anybody can do,

you just hope and pray there never comes a day when Momma's out drinkin with you

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My brain currently is like an overtaxed electric motor. Hot, smoking, and making a weird grinding noise. I wish to God you had not written that. The logistics of this are making my brain go round, and round, and round... I mean, do you just go into your friendly local chocolatier, flip off your over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder and dunk your hoo-ha's into molten chocolate? Gonna be a bit of pain, no? And if you get through that, then do you gotta sit there while the chocolate set's up and cools? Even then, your left with the negative, hollow impression of your woo-hoo's that you would have to look into to see what it was. And what do you do with the kids while you are having this 'gift of love' made? Do they have one of those jungle gym's with the ball crawl to entertain them while Mommy looks like a weird Hershey's Kiss? I can't see them setting up a kiosk at the local shopping mall to do this, not with all the bored husbands milling around finally having something interesting to look at. Or do they make a plaster impression of your hooters, wait 'til that solidifies, then tip the melted chocolate into that? If they do that, then does the store keep the plaster cast of you for their own use? Doing that, he would wind up with two breasteses, independant of one another, and that would be just too weird. And then can you really be sure it'd be YOUR chocolate melons your husband is gnawing on and not Molly's down the street because they misplaced yours or mixed it up? Either you are sitting there with molten chocolate smeared all over you, or you are sending the girls for a cold plaster dunk. Either way your gonna be covered in goop. No, the logistics for this Valentines gift is just too difficult. And if it is just as simple as going in and letting fly into a vat of chocolate, isn't their health regulations that would stop that? And what do you do after the novelty has worn off? Bust them into bite-sized chunks and put them into his lunchpail? You know damn well people bite the ears off the chocolate Easter-bunny's, can you imagine what would be going on with these? And how would he explain the chocolate nipple to his buddies in the lunchroom? "Uh, it was a Valentines present"... He'll never ever get invited to any more corporate golf outings, for sure...

Shawna, you gotta explain the logistics to me, I can't sleep....

:laugh:

Ken.

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Favorite artist? That would be the fire-knife-dancing, singer-composer Kuiokalani Lee. I'd steer him away from cigarettes for that one day so he'd have time enough to write a few more songs. Maybe he'd come up with a distaff answer to "I'll Remember You." And make more than one LP in his short life time. :guitar:

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Ken!!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

I said I've HEARD you can get it done - not that I've DONE it! OMG! I can't help you with the logistics of it anymore than I could tell you how Adam and Eve populated the earth without any incest taking place :laughing: :laughing:

And as a sidenote: my boobs are FINE. Even at 43 - so THERE! (P.S. they're not even assisted with silicone(!))

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