Uncle Joe Posted January 30, 2006 Report Posted January 30, 2006 TO: GOD FROM: THE DOG Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story? Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle?" Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog: 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty. 4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. 5. The sofa is not a 'face towel.' Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. 6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration. 9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello." 11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. 12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. 13. I will not throw up in the car. 14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt. 15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company. 16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. And, finally, my last two questions . . . Dear God: Why do humans have only 10 Commandments and dogs have 16? P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
Sweet Jane 61 Posted January 30, 2006 Report Posted January 30, 2006 I am all cat!! I have had cats since I was 4 and begged my Mom and Dad to let a stray come in the house during a bad snow storm. My Dad said one night in the basement...well 23 years later and 5 litters of kittens Miss Kitty stayed with us until she passed. I have not been without a cat since. I love how they just cuddle with you and think you are it! At the same time they have a great sense of independence and a distictive personality. Pussy cats rock!!
edna Posted January 30, 2006 Report Posted January 30, 2006 23 years?? I didn´t know a cat could live that much...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted January 30, 2006 Report Posted January 30, 2006 She did....she was just so mellow and a very gentle cat. She was really thin near the end but she kept wanting to be held. My Dad finally took her to the vet, she was just to fraile and he was worried she would get hurt. My cat after her lived 19 1/2 years. All my cats are indoor kitties...never go out.
MarcM Posted January 30, 2006 Report Posted January 30, 2006 Thanks for the offer of the masks, Kevin, but I do not think it will work in the long term... They are only seven, and Mariko's dad will be living with us, not just visiting. Maybe if I shave them....
_Laurie_ Posted January 30, 2006 Report Posted January 30, 2006 oh no...dogs are winning?....where are all the cat people?
edna Posted January 31, 2006 Report Posted January 31, 2006 Yesterday hubby came home with a close friend and we spent the night here, having dinner, fixing the computers, listening to music and so. My older cat was frightened, as soon as she saw him she run under my bed and then into the sheets. She went out three hours later, just to see if everything was alright. The little one is so different, she jumped on him, biting his leather jacket, climbing on his feet, trying to lick his face... so I guess cats can behave like a dog sometimes...
Uncle Joe Posted January 31, 2006 Report Posted January 31, 2006 Hey, who hasn't acted like a dog at some time? I remember that time behind the library with Linda....oops, nevermind.
_Laurie_ Posted January 31, 2006 Report Posted January 31, 2006 my cats roll over and sleep on their back like a dog....they sit and look up at you when you have food...If I tell them to speak, they will meow...and I also like my cats coz they pretty much can take care of themselves....
edna Posted January 31, 2006 Report Posted January 31, 2006 Wow, right now my little cat is helping hubby to install McAfee on his PC... she knows there are mice hiding in that box cause it makes strange noises...and besides, there´s always a fly on the screen...
Levis Posted January 31, 2006 Report Posted January 31, 2006 Thank you for that post, Unka Jo... it was the adorblest thing I've come acros in a while, barring that beagle edna posted. I love it! Thank you!
Uncle Joe Posted February 1, 2006 Report Posted February 1, 2006 Ames, teach that poor dog some self respect.
Uncle Joe Posted February 1, 2006 Report Posted February 1, 2006 Not always. Sometimes the urge to hump is too strong.
Uncle Joe Posted February 1, 2006 Report Posted February 1, 2006 I'm scaring you, eh? Sorry, but I'm going to bed now. Miss me.
lonelyday Posted February 1, 2006 Author Report Posted February 1, 2006 Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Earth-Angel Posted February 1, 2006 Report Posted February 1, 2006 Besides the other ones. The ones with humans...
MarcM Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 I am taking my moms cats to the shelter tomorrow
Shawna Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 nooooooo that's so sad! Try to find a no-kill shelter... because if it's an older cat, it won't even get a chance to be adopted, the humane society usually only displays the younger ones.
MarcM Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 I am told that there is a cat rescue that comes around to take the ones that are not adopted. I tried to get them to take them up front, but I have not heard from them. Their answering machine message said that they were full.
PSYCHOcatholic Posted February 3, 2006 Report Posted February 3, 2006 (edited) Lady and the Tramp! That was my favorite movie as a child! Edited February 3, 2006 by Guest
MarcM Posted February 4, 2006 Report Posted February 4, 2006 Well, A & B are gone. I took them to the shelter this morning. The guy at the place said that 80-85% of the animals that they get in there get adopted, so I am hopeful. He also said that they will keep an animal indefinitely if they are not too full, the animal is nice and not too old. I told the guy to call me if the are going to euthanize them. I will take them back and put them up in a cat hotel if I have to before I let that happen. This is a picture of "A" with Mya and her friend, Luigi.
_Laurie_ Posted February 4, 2006 Report Posted February 4, 2006 awww Marc, that is so sad....I hope they will call you and let you know where they are gonna be....don't you have any friends or neighbors that will take them...so you can still see them?
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