Here are some crappy lyrics

[daslied 1]

Untitled at the moment; still working the song out...

She lets me down

So gently that it doesn’t hurt

Until she’s returned

To pick me up again

She leaves me with

Sentimental regret

That doesn’t bite

Until I’ve let it go

Such a lovely heartache

She brushes me away

But keeps me close enough

To reach for my hand

For safety or admonishment

She’ll never say if

She hated that I wanted her

Or perhaps

Loved that I turned her on

Such a lovely heartache

Such a lovely heartache

Such a lovely heartache

Please let it stop.

[Shawna 1]

wow, Daslied, what a push-me-pull-you. Those are not crappy lyrics! I really like it.

Besides, anyone who can use the word "admonishment" in a song is alright by me!

[daslied 1]

Thanks, Shawna. It's a good thing that I'm not concerned with rhyming, because that word would've been 86'ed quickly...

[Levis 6]

Used properly, that'd make a great song.

[Tenacious_Peaches 0]

Such a lovely heartache.

It's amazing how 4 words can paint such a vivid picture.

[Jenny 2]

I agree with Peaches, that phrase "such a lovely heartache" says so much.

daslied, half the "musicians" out there today should wish they could write lyrics as "crappy" as these!

[daslied 1]

Thanks a lot, Peaches and Jenny, for the kind words.

And thanks, Levis, for the immense pressure...

That particular line is my least favorite. It's just a throwaway to put some syllables to a melody. Suppose I better keep it now, eh?

[Levis 6]

Song! Song! We want Song!

[daslied 1]

I'm trying to get to it...I'll make sure and let you guys hear it, whenever the hell I get time to finish it. Let's not have too much buildup, though, since it may very well suck...

[Earth-Angel 0]

Now now Daslied, going by the other work you're involved in, I think "sucking" will be the last thing it does. But enough ego-boosting, where's the song already??!!

[daslied 1]

Oh, there's a great chance for sucking. Remember, you guys have only heard a handful of songs, and inevitably something will let you down.

In the meantime, listen to some Good Charlotte to effectively lower your standards.

[miamisammy29 4]

In the meantime, listen to some Good Charlotte to effectively lower your standards.

Yeah, there's a good chance that THEY'll suck! In fact, you can bet the house on it!

[daslied 1]

Really, how punk is banging Hilary Duff?

And how punk is the name "Benji"?

[Tenacious_Peaches 0]

F***ing posers. Or poseurs, depending on how continental you are.

[daslied 1]

Speaking of continental, I really like Christopher Walken.

[Earth-Angel 0]

He is very good.

Particularly so when he is dancing.

Dance, Walken, dance!

[Tenacious_Peaches 0]

In the meantime, listen to some Good Charlotte to effectively lower your standards.

Here is a thread from last year (damn, I've got to get off these boards and get a life) about our boys.

And there can be no mention of Walken without bringing up, once again, the Cowbell sketch.

Edited October 4, 2005 by Guest
To include Sir Christopher.

[daslied 1]

Ah, the cowbell sketch.

A really dumb idea has never been turned into something as brilliant. Really, what's the impetus for such a sketch? "Hey, let's put Will in a small, fuzzy shirt and give him a cowbell." He's the only person that could've made that funny. But I think that goes for most of his bits, like the "get off the shed" thing, the cat toy company and the various times he wore thongs.

[miamisammy29 4]

I NEED MORE COWBELL SKETCHES!!

[daslied 1]

In the interest of shameless self-promotion, here is a link to the song. Is it actually promotion if I don't make any money? I suppose it is, but at least you know I'm not financially motivated.

http://www.garageband.com/song?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSkaFi3a2s

[Steel2Velvet 0]

John, I find your song lightyears from "crappy." The music is VERY well done with high quality production values (keeping in mind my computer speakers are not the most discerning acoustic delivery system.) As for the lyrics, the age-old scenrio of lost love is freshened with a new slant imparted by your skills as a lyricist. I felt the only weakness was inherent syllabic pacing. While it is far from impossible to do so, it takes a very special combination of melody to rhythmn in order to avoid sounding forced the incorporation of 4 syllable words such as "sentimental" and "admonishment" into a song. But this is a minor detail to a very successful accomplishment. My compliments to you, Sir.

[daslied 1]

Thanks, Ron. It's nice to hear that from someone as talented as yourself.

I agree about the 4 syllable words. They sound a bit funny, but I'm too lazy to change them.

[Tenacious_Peaches 0]

I was going to say that it was very beautiful and it made my knees weak, but Ron's assessment was much more informative. I'm not that smart.

[daslied 1]

Yeah, but which kind of response do you think I was aiming for?

Thank you, Kari. And yes, you are. Do I have to start another thread?

[Steel2Velvet 0]

You made my knees weak too, but I .... um ... didn't want to say it exactly that way.