daslied Posted September 30, 2005 Report Posted September 30, 2005 Untitled at the moment; still working the song out... She lets me down So gently that it doesn’t hurt Until she’s returned To pick me up again She leaves me with Sentimental regret That doesn’t bite Until I’ve let it go Such a lovely heartache She brushes me away But keeps me close enough To reach for my hand For safety or admonishment She’ll never say if She hated that I wanted her Or perhaps Loved that I turned her on Such a lovely heartache Such a lovely heartache Such a lovely heartache Please let it stop.
Shawna Posted September 30, 2005 Report Posted September 30, 2005 wow, Daslied, what a push-me-pull-you. Those are not crappy lyrics! I really like it. Besides, anyone who can use the word "admonishment" in a song is alright by me!
daslied Posted September 30, 2005 Author Report Posted September 30, 2005 Thanks, Shawna. It's a good thing that I'm not concerned with rhyming, because that word would've been 86'ed quickly...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted October 3, 2005 Report Posted October 3, 2005 Such a lovely heartache. It's amazing how 4 words can paint such a vivid picture.
Jenny Posted October 3, 2005 Report Posted October 3, 2005 I agree with Peaches, that phrase "such a lovely heartache" says so much. daslied, half the "musicians" out there today should wish they could write lyrics as "crappy" as these!
daslied Posted October 3, 2005 Author Report Posted October 3, 2005 Thanks a lot, Peaches and Jenny, for the kind words. And thanks, Levis, for the immense pressure... That particular line is my least favorite. It's just a throwaway to put some syllables to a melody. Suppose I better keep it now, eh?
daslied Posted October 4, 2005 Author Report Posted October 4, 2005 I'm trying to get to it...I'll make sure and let you guys hear it, whenever the hell I get time to finish it. Let's not have too much buildup, though, since it may very well suck...
Earth-Angel Posted October 4, 2005 Report Posted October 4, 2005 Now now Daslied, going by the other work you're involved in, I think "sucking" will be the last thing it does. But enough ego-boosting, where's the song already??!!
daslied Posted October 4, 2005 Author Report Posted October 4, 2005 Oh, there's a great chance for sucking. Remember, you guys have only heard a handful of songs, and inevitably something will let you down. In the meantime, listen to some Good Charlotte to effectively lower your standards.
miamisammy29 Posted October 4, 2005 Report Posted October 4, 2005 In the meantime, listen to some Good Charlotte to effectively lower your standards. Yeah, there's a good chance that THEY'll suck! In fact, you can bet the house on it!
daslied Posted October 4, 2005 Author Report Posted October 4, 2005 Really, how punk is banging Hilary Duff? And how punk is the name "Benji"?
Tenacious_Peaches Posted October 4, 2005 Report Posted October 4, 2005 F***ing posers. Or poseurs, depending on how continental you are.
daslied Posted October 4, 2005 Author Report Posted October 4, 2005 Speaking of continental, I really like Christopher Walken.
Earth-Angel Posted October 4, 2005 Report Posted October 4, 2005 He is very good. Particularly so when he is dancing. Dance, Walken, dance!
Tenacious_Peaches Posted October 4, 2005 Report Posted October 4, 2005 (edited) In the meantime, listen to some Good Charlotte to effectively lower your standards. Here is a thread from last year (damn, I've got to get off these boards and get a life) about our boys. And there can be no mention of Walken without bringing up, once again, the Cowbell sketch. Edited October 4, 2005 by Guest To include Sir Christopher.
daslied Posted October 4, 2005 Author Report Posted October 4, 2005 Ah, the cowbell sketch. A really dumb idea has never been turned into something as brilliant. Really, what's the impetus for such a sketch? "Hey, let's put Will in a small, fuzzy shirt and give him a cowbell." He's the only person that could've made that funny. But I think that goes for most of his bits, like the "get off the shed" thing, the cat toy company and the various times he wore thongs.
daslied Posted December 2, 2005 Author Report Posted December 2, 2005 In the interest of shameless self-promotion, here is a link to the song. Is it actually promotion if I don't make any money? I suppose it is, but at least you know I'm not financially motivated. http://www.garageband.com/song?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSkaFi3a2s
Steel2Velvet Posted December 2, 2005 Report Posted December 2, 2005 John, I find your song lightyears from "crappy." The music is VERY well done with high quality production values (keeping in mind my computer speakers are not the most discerning acoustic delivery system.) As for the lyrics, the age-old scenrio of lost love is freshened with a new slant imparted by your skills as a lyricist. I felt the only weakness was inherent syllabic pacing. While it is far from impossible to do so, it takes a very special combination of melody to rhythmn in order to avoid sounding forced the incorporation of 4 syllable words such as "sentimental" and "admonishment" into a song. But this is a minor detail to a very successful accomplishment. My compliments to you, Sir.
daslied Posted December 2, 2005 Author Report Posted December 2, 2005 Thanks, Ron. It's nice to hear that from someone as talented as yourself. I agree about the 4 syllable words. They sound a bit funny, but I'm too lazy to change them.
Tenacious_Peaches Posted December 2, 2005 Report Posted December 2, 2005 I was going to say that it was very beautiful and it made my knees weak, but Ron's assessment was much more informative. I'm not that smart.
daslied Posted December 2, 2005 Author Report Posted December 2, 2005 Yeah, but which kind of response do you think I was aiming for? Thank you, Kari. And yes, you are. Do I have to start another thread?
Steel2Velvet Posted December 2, 2005 Report Posted December 2, 2005 You made my knees weak too, but I .... um ... didn't want to say it exactly that way.
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