Coolest/funniest lyrical line

[Are Fridtjof]

I'm doubt that I'm the only one who ever froze after having heard a brilliant line.

My best example

"What she asked of my, at the end of the day

Caligula would have blushed"

The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

[behindblueeyez]

I don't know for coolest... but the funniest to me, just because of the wording, was "In the desert, you can't remember your name cause there ain't no one for to give you no name." -America, Horse With No Name

(I think it was America anyway...)

[bluesboy]

One of my favorite cool lines is from -

Tom Petty's Breakdown ('76)

It's alright if you love me,

It's alright if you don't

I'm not afraid of you runnin' away honey,

I've got this feeling you won't

[Lambchop Flansburgh]

Your post quotes Petty, but your signature is Dylan. Where does one start with the cool/funny Dylan lines?

Romeo, he said to Juliet, "You got a poor complexion.

It doesn't give your appearance a very youthful touch!"

Juliet said back to Romeo, "Why don't you just shove off

If it bothers you so much."

(from "Floater") ::

[vincegillstwin]

Deep Purple: Perfect Stranglers.

So we put her on the hit list

Of a common cunning linguist

A master of many tongues

Gawd, that whole album rocks. I'm gonna have to dig it out.

[edna]

"Bob Dylan´s 115th dream": "I was riding on the Mayflower...etc." I mean, the whole song. I posted this before... and many other Dylan´s songs...Bob Dylan is the funniest rocker in which refers to the lyrics.

[Steel2Velvet]

From the song Third Rate Romance (don't recall the band, maybe The Amazing Rythmn Aces):

"She said, 'I've never really done a thing like this before. Have you?' He said, 'Yes I have, but only a time or two.'"

Rereading it here it doesn't sound exactly cool or funny, but in the context of the song, it is both.

[guitarshredder]

There?s something very strange about grandpa

He used to wear his pants hiked up as far as they would go

And now he wears them sagging around his waist so his adult diaper shows

He only speaks in ebonics, and he keeps asking for the chronic.

-larry weaver ~grandpa's gone gangster

[edna]

OK, I´ll post it, this one is (I find...) the funniest... it´s from 1965.

BOB DYLAN´S 115the DREAM

I was riding on the Mayflower

When I thought I spied some land

I yelled for Captain Arab

I have yuh understand

Who came running to the deck

Said, "Boys, forget the whale

Look on over yonder

Cut the engines

Change the sail

Haul on the bowline"

We sang that melody

Like all tough sailors do

When they are far away at sea

"I think I'll call it America"

I said as we hit land

I took a deep breath

I fell down, I could not stand

Captain Arab he started

Writing up some deeds

He said, "Let's set up a fort

And start buying the place with beads"

Just then this cop comes down the street

Crazy as a loon

He throw us all in jail

For carryin' harpoons

Ah me I busted out

Don't even ask me how

I went to get some help

I walked by a Guernsey cow

Who directed me down

To the Bowery slums

Where people carried signs around

Saying, "Ban the bums"

I jumped right into line

Sayin', "I hope that I'm not late"

When I realized I hadn't eaten

For five days straight

I went into a restaurant

Lookin' for the cook

I told them I was the editor

Of a famous etiquette book

The waitress he was handsome

He wore a powder blue cape

I ordered some suzette, I said

"Could you please make that crepe"

Just then the whole kitchen exploded

From boilin' fat

Food was flying everywhere

And I left without my hat

Now, I didn't mean to be nosy

But I went into a bank

To get some bail for Arab

And all the boys back in the tank

They asked me for some collateral

And I pulled down my pants

They threw me in the alley

When up comes this girl from France

Who invited me to her house

I went, but she had a friend

Who knocked me out

And robbed my boots

And I was on the street again

Well, I rapped upon a house

With the U.S. flag upon display

I said, "Could you help me out

I got some friends down the way"

The man says, "Get out of here

I'll tear you limb from limb"

I said, "You know they refused Jesus, too"

He said, "You're not Him

Get out of here before I break your bones

I ain't your pop"

I decided to have him arrested

And I went looking for a cop

I ran right outside

And I hopped inside a cab

I went out the other door

This Englishman said, "Fab"

As he saw me leap a hot dog stand

And a chariot that stood

Parked across from a building

Advertising brotherhood

I ran right through the front door

Like a hobo sailor does

But it was just a funeral parlor

And the man asked me who I was

I repeated that my friends

Were all in jail, with a sigh

He gave me his card

He said, "Call me if they die"

I shook his hand and said goodbye

Ran out to the street

When a bowling ball came down the road

And knocked me off my feet

A pay phone was ringing

It just about blew my mind

When I picked it up and said hello

This foot came through the line

Well, by this time I was fed up

At tryin' to make a stab

At bringin' back any help

For my friends and Captain Arab

I decided to flip a coin

Like either heads or tails

Would let me know if I should go

Back to ship or back to jail

So I hocked my sailor suit

And I got a coin to flip

It came up tails

It rhymed with sails

So I made it back to the ship

Well, I got back and took

The parkin' ticket off the mast

I was ripping it to shreds

When this coastguard boat went past

They asked me my name

And I said, "Captain Kidd"

They believed me but

They wanted to know

What exactly that I did

I said for the Pope of Eruke

I was employed

They let me go right away

They were very paranoid

Well, the last I heard of Arab

He was stuck on a whale

That was married to the deputy

Sheriff of the jail

But the funniest thing was

When I was leavin' the bay

I saw three ships a-sailin'

They were all heading my way

I asked the captain what his name was

And how come he didn't drive a truck

He said his name was Columbus

I just said, "Good luck."

[Uncle Joe]

OK, I´ll post it, this one is (I find...) the funniest... it´s from 1965.

BOB DYLAN´S 115the DREAM

Didn't he rename this one 115th "Trip"? Shouldn't he have?

[edna]

Oh, surely... but he´s so lazy about the titles, he has many dreams number whatever...

Hi, UncleJoe, it´s a cloudy and stupid day today in Spain... I wish I was elsewhere

[marko90]

"Love is the only invincable feeling,

Pure, yet haunted,

given its the only thing we need

but when given too freely from the needy

we dont want it,

So we lose it,

Spend our days tying to find it,

when we find it we spend our days walking blinded,

Blinded by happiness, Jealousy for the most part confused,

Hate to love it, but I do, and them are the love sick...Blues"

That is the spoken part at the end of "Love sick Blues" by Kyprios I love this song right now, its a rap song but I'll deal with it!!!

[Carl]

How about this from Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever":

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains."

[bazooka]

Well, my telephone rang it would not stop,

It's President Kennedy callin' me up.

He said, "My friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?"

I said, "My friend, John, Brigitte Bardot,

Anita Ekberg,

Sophia Loren." ~ Bob Dylan, I Shall Be Free

[edna]

Well, my telephone rang it would not stop,

It's President Kennedy callin' me up.

He said, "My friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?"

I said, "My friend, John, Brigitte Bardot,

Anita Ekberg,

Sophia Loren." ~ Bob Dylan, I Shall Be Free

Bazooka, you´re special quoting the right ones!!! I love this song, it made laugh since I heard it for the first time...

[SoulGirl]

nice one carl - LOL!

i love johnny cash's 'boy named sue' - very funny!

aslo pretty much anything by weird al yankovic makes me laugh!

[MuzikTyme]

We just smiled and waved...

Sittin' there on that sack of seeds!

I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's

His hair was perfect.

Well, they raised up a son that could eat up his weight in groceries.

[Mike]

I'll put them in reverse order...

FUNNIEST

Now we're going a hundred twenty

As fast as I can go

The Rambler pulled along side of me

As if we were going slow

The fella rolled down his window

And yelled for me to hear

"Hey buddy how do I get this car outa second gear?"

COOLEST

Sheep dog standing in the rain

Bull frog doing it again

Some kind of happiness is

measured out in miles

What make you think you're

something special when you smile

Childlike no on understand

Jack knife in your sweaty hands

Some kind of innocence is

measured out in years

You don't know what it's like

to listen to you fears

You can talk to me

You can talk to me

You can talk to me

If you're lonely, you can talk to me

Big man walking in the park

Wigwam frightened of the dark

Some kind of solitude is

measured out in you

You think you know but you haven't got a clue

You can talk to me

You can talk to me

You can talk to me

If you're lonely, you can talk to me

Hey Bulldog

..Ruff .. rrrruff..you know anymore...ah--hahaha quack-quack

[Earth-Angel]

Funny as in cheesey...well alot of stuff at the moment...I don't have to elaborate much

Funny HA-HA, has to be most things by the Bloodhound Gang, Wierd Al or Cypress Hill. I have a giggle at alot of rap stuff like Beastie Boys' "boomin' granny", also lines like "I'll stir-fry you in my wok"...

There's alot of funny stuff floating about!

[Tybalt]

Cool

There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway

A song that they sing when they take to the sea

A song that they sing of their home in the sky

Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep

But singing works just fine for me ~ James Taylor, Sweet Baby James

Funny (This might need the context and the special delivery)

I gave him the money

He acted real funny

He hocked up a rock and

It totalled my car!

Do you know any trucks

that are bound for the Valley?

I don't want to stay here

All night in this bar ...

A Mountain is something

You don't wanna f*ck with

You don't wanna f*ck with

Don't f*ck around

(Don't f*ck around) ~ Frank Zappa, Billy the Mountain