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Blue Fish

So you think your really it do you?

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So You Think Your Really It Do You?

So, you think your it do you?

Well I could be it too

If I choose to be like you.

I would have to hurt peole of course

lead them on with a loving force

then leave them, for a boy of course.

Then I'd have to tell you how much I'm in love

Not with you though with one whos as gentle as a dove

then say how we never really had it, you know, that thing called love.

So you think your it do you?

Well I could be it too

If I choose to be like you

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This one could be improved by changing the title to "So, You Think You're Really It, Do You?", which would be a giant leap closer to grammatical perfection.

Maybe if you first read the poem, and think about

So, you think your it do you?

Well I could be it too

If I choose to be like you.

Then maybe you'll understand the title is correct.

Grammatical perfection? I'm pro lyrical freedom ;)

Nice work Blue Fish, as most of you poems, you focus on the content. Telling it with lots of words, which gives an interesting approach to the composition.

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spelling werds wrong is part of artistik freedoms,

but generally for fonetik purpose.

going between your/you're is differnt, because they mean two completely different things

if one was to be clever and take a phrase that usually is 'you are' and change the you're to a your, to show possession, would be clever.

to just mindlessly misuse werds is a destruction of language, of intellect.

which, I suppose, if you're a troll, is an artistic goal, maybe that is the metapurpose of trolling.

intellectual anarchy

I hope it's worth it.

Mind you, Joyce was only 'permitted'

to write stream of consciousness

non-punctuated/capitalized prose

after

he had proven his capabilities in the accepted medium.

I guess we've come to a crossroads where we have to ask

are we all now free from structure

did the works of a group of post-modernists

free all of us

were they christ-writers?

or must each individual strive

and work

towards

the privilege

and

freedom to write however they wish

with full

'lyrical freedom'

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anyway

let's assume that the your/you're mixup is on purpose

and has meaning

please

let me(us?) in on the meaning

as the easiest way to prove the worth of art

is to explain

dissect

expound

really BS about it

so gimme a dissertation

on your grammar choice

lemme see where you're at

it'll gimme a chance

to see

what your driving

at

if you're brains

functioning

at sum higher equation.

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Maybe if you first read the poem, and think about

So, you think your it do you?

Well I could be it too

If I choose to be like you.

Then maybe you'll understand the title is correct.

In what respect? :confused:

I'm not sufficiently masochistic as to wish to read this poem any more times than is absolutely necessary. I can assure you upon one reading that there is no way on God's Earth that the possessive your makes any sense whatsoever in this context. Nor -given Blue Fish's history of catastrophic crimes against the English language- do I have any cause to believe that the possessive your was ever her intention.(Even if it did make sense, which it doesn't.)

It was an error. A glaring, pulsating pimple-on-the-nose error. End of story. I appreciate that it may have been a deliberate error, but then one has to wonder, "Why? Why would she do that?" Does she genuinely imagine that blind-fitter spends sleepless nights sweating anxiously over her atrocious grammar- or even give a tupenny toss about it, for that matter- and insert these repeated grammatical faux pas on purpose? And, if so, why? :confused:

Nice work Blue Fish, as most of you poems, you focus on the content. Telling it with lots of words, which gives an interesting approach to the composition.

I'm not about to quibble about your first point, however meaningless a statement it may appear at first glance, (oh! and at second glance, too...), but I feel an irresistible urge to ask, in relation to your second point: in what way is "telling it with (lots of) words" an interesting approach to poetic composition? Is there another way?* :confused:

*(Apart from telling it with few words, obviously)

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"telling it with (lots of) words" an interesting approach to poetic composition? Is there another way?*

actually, yeah... using few words as a brush to paint a picture is another way... (please note: this is only in response to B-F's comment and not a commentary on Bloof's poem) :)

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You know what, Bloof? I don't really care that much about your grammatical errors. You shouldn't go blaming them on spell-checker, though. These are just some fairly basic, simple things you ought to learn. You submit poems, I comment upon them. (If I see anything worth commenting upon.) Maybe you could get a friend to proof-read them before "publication". Then I wouldn't feel the need to be so helpful.

What I'm baffled about is Viaene's conviction that "So you really think your it, do you?" makes perfect sense in the context of your poem, and must therefore be exactly what you intended to say. Strange...very strange.

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actually, yeah... using few words as a brush to paint a picture is another way... (please note: this is only in response to B-F's comment and not a commentary on Bloof's poem) :)

I believe I said "Apart from using few words, obviously". What I was driving at was my suspicion that "telling it in words"- however many/few are used- represents not so much an "interesting approach" to poetic composition, but rather, the most common-place approach: words are, and always have been, essential components in the genre. In fact, I'm hard pressed to name a single example of a poetic composition that didn't contain them. Maybe somebody with a broader knowledge of the subject could enlighten me. I do not profess to be any kind of expert, alas!

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hey, I'm a Belgian, we don't want to walk in line. :P

Both ways of spelling it make sense to me. I just assume the writer has intended every word as it's written. It's up to the reader to find out what it's all about and give his own interpretation.

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Both ways of spelling it make sense to me.

That must be strong weed you be smoking. ;) :thumbsup:

I just assume the writer has intended every word as it's written.
That's a trifle naive in Blue Fish's case, if no-one minds me saying so. Haul me before the magistrates, if I'm wrong. :P

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Thanks Laurie. I know that everyone knows what i mean by the spelling, pointing it out to everyone seems a trife petty to me...like someone would want to point out how good they are at spelling and how rubbish everyone else is....I don't mind good advice, but argueing the point seems childish.

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Thanks Laurie. I know that everyone knows what i mean by the spelling, pointing it out to everyone seems a trife petty to me...like someone would want to point out how good they are at spelling and how rubbish everyone else is....I don't mind good advice, but argueing the point seems childish.

I'm not remotely interested in pointing out how good I am at spelling...or how rubbish other people are, for that matter. Spelling errors are a different and largely irrelevant kettle of fish altogether. You say you "don't mind good advice". Do you not think that suggesting you proof-read your work for basic but significant grammatical errors, suggesting that you learn the basic rules so as to avoid repeatedly making the same mistakes (e.g. the difference between there / they're / their , or your / you're)....You don't consider this good advice? "Arguing the point" (as you put it) might seem childish, I suppose, and I'm sorry if it does. I thought you might actually value some advice on how to make your poetry better. More fool, me.

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B-F is right, if you want to be thematically clear in your writing, you can't go around putting in words with a completely different meaning than the intended one. It is kind of a big deal, and Ms. Fish should make sure she proofreads more carefully.

As for the poem itself, it seems like diary material, if you catch my meaning.

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I believe I said "Apart from using few words, obviously".

well, yes, my beloved BF, but I chose to ignore that. I'm in a rather ornery mood today. ;)

Bloof... Regarding spell check, if a word is spelled correctly, even if it's used in the wrong context, spell check lets it pass, because it's just progammed to recognize words spelled incorrectly. And I'm of the same school of thought that spelling errors sort of ruin a story right off the top for me.

That said, your poem displays the anger and hurt you feel quite well. It made me a bit sad when I read it, because I've felt that way before.

On another note, my writing instructors have always said, "Don't tell a story, paint a picture." Using fewer, more descriptive words accomplishes a world of difference in imagery.

And IMO you have real potential, based on the stuff you've posted in the past. And oh yeah... you take criticism well. ;)

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Teachers grade down for misspellings, editors correct them. Why not try to be correct?

There you go. Part of being an artist is making technical mistakes that editors/producers fix. Sometimes even the editors miss.

Consider Steven Brust's The Phoenix Guards which contains the line "Not is the time to depart." The sentence makes no sense, until you realize that it's supposed to be "Now is the time to depart." The writer missed it, the editor missed it, and about 50,000 people wrote to the author complaining.

Get over it. Seriously.

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