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My favorites...

Jack Bauer never gets pop-ups. Ever.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

When Jack Bauer signs up for a free ipod online, they actually give him one.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better duckling do it.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

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  • 7 months later...

Sure, these are sort of played out:

MTV once tried to 'Punk' Kiefer Sutherland by staging a robery in a store. Sutherland smiled and pulled out his SIG and shot 3 actors in the head. This is why there was a new cast on Punk'd after season one.

Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first.

Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants.

When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyone’s lines are translated except for Jack's. The reason for this, nobody speaks for Jack Bauer.

If Jack Bauer gives you his word, return it immediately and run.

Jack Bauer once opened a can of whoop ass. All he found inside was a mirror.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Messenger bags owe Jack Bauer for single-handedly stealing them from the clutches of emo fashion and making them genuinely cool. Same thing with hoodies. And crying.

When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out.

Jack Bauer smokes after sex. Not cigarettes, his penis literally smokes.

Jack Bauer has never caught a cold. How do we know? Colds still exist.

They say you can't go a day without water, Jack Bauer has gone five seasons.

Jack Bauer snapped a store clerk in half because he had said "Have a nice day!" Nobody tells Jack Bauer what to do.

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  • 2 months later...

Please forgive any repeats.

Jack Bauer jousted Sir Lancelot with a toothpick. And won.

Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Jack Bauer prefers windows...doors are for women, children, and people he kicks through them.

Jack Bauer carries a hospital around with him at all times, it is the size of a 9mm bullet.

As a child, Jack Bauer once ordered a "Happy Meal," but demanded his money back, as it did not make him happy.

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who fear Jack Bauer, and those who are Jack Bauer.

Guys wearing a t-shirt "I'm with stupid" suddenly realize that the hand is showing upwards when they're standing next to Jack Bauer.

When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.

A man once said "Give me liberty or give me death." Jack Bauer gave him death.

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I love this show because when I am watching it, I never see anything coming. But when I think about it after I've seen it, I realize that of course these twists and turns are going to happen and I'm a dumb a$$ for being surprised.

TimLizzy, we might have to fill you in on the ending of the show so you get the full impact of it.

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As soon as the show ended, I looked up the character that Jack called (who's name escapes me at the moment) on Wikipedia. So if I got it right, this guy became President when the current President's brother was critically injured, started out as just plain incompetent, but then turned out to be completely corrupt, and involved in Graem's assassination plot and tried to frame Jack for the whole deal. What I didn't understand is why he's a free man after all that.

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  • 4 weeks later...

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