Jump to content

Up From Here


Recommended Posts

This poem is kind of a mess, but so am I, and it's very, very personal. Still, I feel like I have to share it with somebody.

I lived in a world where everything was real

Except for me. I couldn’t help but feel

That I was inconsequential,

That I had no potential

To ever understand why people would

Want to exist with each other, how they could

Tolerate the tediousness of the world

At large. I was like a scroll unfurled

But with no words written down. I stood shaking

Shrouded in barely concealed nakedness, waking

Each day wishing I had died in the night,

Regarding life itself with absolute fright.

People would ask “Have you no soul?â€

But it’s easy to lie when the answer is “No.â€

So I cowardly crept into a bottle of pills

Hoping I would not come out. It still gives me chills

To think that my mind betrayed me that way,

Just a few short months ago, though it feels like years. Today

I can at the very least say I am happy I failed,

Though I still live in the shadow of the night I derailed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Very personal. Like Peaches, I don't know what to say ... I really don't think you are looking for a critique. But it is most definately an illustration of confusion, and despair, and more. An illustration of a place from which there is mostly definatly no place to go but up. I love you too kid.

As far as the poem goes, I don't think that it is such a mess. It's makes me feel, and it paints a picture, and that is what it should do.

Edited by Guest
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Great piece. So many people can relate to this as I do, some probably even more!

Fantastic job!

Tim: If you're needing someone to talk with who's been there and doing that, PT me.

Just a heads up: don't wait till it's too late. Talk with someone about how you feel. Some people aren't good listeners, but there are people who wanna help. My family never speaks of such things so I found outside help. Trust me... don't wait.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Perhaps the most effective form of poetry is the exposition of personal pain and the learning that results from its acknowledgement. This is a piece to hold onto for the rest of your life, Tim. Someday you will reread it and, like an early explorers map that is interesting to compare to a modern satellite image of the same region, be in awe of the divergences and similarities your road has afforded you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow Tim...I'm no expert on poetry, but I do know that these words that expressed your personal pain were put so well, that I totally felt your pain also...You are a very talented young man....I'm sure your poetry helps you find some comfort...you have a wonderful skill Tim, and I hope you continue writing...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...