blind-fitter

Right now, I wish I did... (If my bosses find out how I've been passing the time today, they'll not be happy... )

Well, hell, hello - I'm Mr Blind-Fitter, seen me before? I'm the arch bullsh!tter, Epileptic: No, Visual Impairment: Nil I heard a rumour that my humour is ill Opinions / observations, Oh yes, I've got'em, (Alas! Some of these are straight outta my bottom) I'm upright (!) I'm uptight, I'm on a hair-trigger, Anally-retentive? Go figure! I'm a peptic ulcer waiting to occur, (Maybe that's true, even I'm not sure) I'm a seething mass of contradiction Who can distinguish the fact from the fiction? My rep is for lewdness, pomposity, rudeness, sarcasm, indignation and bile. But then I'm politeness, sweetness and lightness (They forgive you alot if you make folks smile...) So yes, that's me, Lord Fitter of Blind, You wouldn't want a holiday in my mind Nay, nay and thrice nay,.. don't titter I'm the insufferable smartarse...the Blind-Fitter

This one's called "What I did at work on my birthday" Did you ever hear of Mrs Fitter Snr? Seldom a reader was there keener, While I was still in my papoose She read out loud from Dr Seuss. And at the tender age of three Young Fitter sat on mummy's knee, And what, perchance, did they peruse? Yes, you guessed it, Dr Seuss One fish, two fish, red fish, blue Hop on Pop, the Sneetches too, The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham All played their part in "who I am". For ever since that age so young I've revelled in trickery of the tongue, And sharpened my linguistic flair By picking stuff up here and there. Disgruntled, Berks and Frankie Howerd, Harry Hill and Noel Coward (Not to mention many others: Certain teachers, friends and brothers, Countdown hosted by Richard Whitely, Viewed upon a basis nightly) all in a melting-pot suffuse With the prime ingredient, Dr Seuss Yet pay heed: this tale is cautionary! Obsessions can become disproportionary, And coupled with a lack of social skills Can cause all manner of potential ills. A pedant of linguistic bent, Who can be apoplectic sent By erratic grammar, inaccurate spelling, And by people who, by dint of their failure to recognise the significance of "cadence", simply "need telling". But when carried away by wry invective I have a tactic which may prove effective, When I veer into the territory of "verbal abuse", In future I'll blame it on Dr. Seuss And when I'm opining what "sucks" and what "rocks" I'll bless my cotton fox in socks, When my language verges on obtuse, It'll largely be thanks to Dr Seuss.

You don't miss a trick, do you Diggs?

Cheers for the birthday wishes! It's only just "today" over here, O55, (11.05 a.m)so there's plenty of my birthday left yet! I'm at work } but planning to finish early for a birthday tea with the nippers and open a few more presents. Tonight, the missus and I are off out to a gig, so its going to be pretty busy and I won't be posting later on. If I get any interesting music-related pressies (and I hope I will), I'll post details later on the "HappyBirthday Blind-Fitter" thread that Foxy so thoughtfully started up. What a sweetie!

Aw shucks Great choice of card, Foxy, I've always been a Dr Seuss fan. Thanks for all the wishes you guys....I'm filling up, I really am...

Should read... U2 are reportedly planning to quit touring: GOOD U2 are also planning to quit recording: EVEN BETTER MAKEBONOHISTORY*MAKEBONOHISTORY*MAKEBONOHISTORY*MAKEBONOHISTORY

I wouldn't even know where to look for "Announcements", tbh. Still a "noob" as far as navigating round the site goes! So I'm not sure what you mean when you say you set up a happy birthday thread specially...'you mean there's a thread somewhere, set up by you, dedicated to "Birthday messages"? Of course, Foxy, you too are quite welcome to give me a Birthday kiss right here, (if you want to)

Well, you're right on both counts: Yes, its my birthday and No, I probably wouldn't think to look in Announcements,. But I'm quite happy to receive your birthday greetings right here. Cheers, Edna!

This criticism could be taken more seriously if the lyrics were quoted accurately. I've never heard of Dave White, but I strongly suspect he's a tosspot of the highest order.

MARCO PIRRONI

johnny: you could at least try spelling "erection" correctly.

Nick Olivieri (formerly of Queens Of The Stone Age) R-O-C-K-S ...and so does his beard!

Steady on Das. Don't be too hard on yourself: you weren't the only one that didn't get the joke first time around- there was johnnyguitar, and several others who had to work hard and read it more than just the once before the penny dropped. I blame myself, I was obviously far too subtle. So I over-reacted, but y'know... I make a clever innuendo and get next to diddly-squat, johnnyguitar gets an "Oh, you're sooooooo funny" for almost, nearly (but not quite)getting it!! Yes, johnnyguitar, my arch-rival, the ORIGINAL "insufferable smartarse" (Oh yes, I may have thought I was the first, but you can bet your ruddy life that mrjohnnyeffingguitar was there before me) YOU CAN UNDERSTAND MY FRUSTRATION, CAN'T YOU??? (straightens tie, leaves the room twitching)

Foxy, If you haven't already, give The Cocteau Twins a try, starting with Victorialand. I don't think you'll be disappointed. (You might never want to listen to Enya again )

"ethereal" is one thing, "earthy / spiritual" quite another... However, if we're talking "ethereal" here, well the classic band to fit this description were The Cocteau Twins. It almost became a running gag that every review of theirs had to contain the word "ethereal". In music journalese, the word seemed to have been invented for The Cocteaus. I've a few of their albums, my absolute favourite being "Victorialand" which is just astoundingly superb: I'd recommend it to anybody.* (*except johnnyguitar, as he'd inevitably know a better one) Whether it's their most "ethereal", though, I wouldn't like to say...

Well I do, for one...

That's quite enough of that!

The tricky thing is knowing whether a track which might have been a big hit in one's own country has also had similar success abroad: I wasn't sure about the Blur one "Tender" - No.2 over here, but possibly little-known elsewhere? I'm finding this latest one by DasLied pretty challenging, despite being a fan of Beck and having access to Costello's discography!

That's not quite right. Robert Smith founded The Cure, but he only ever played with The Banshees to help them out when they were "between guitarists". He was neither an "original Banshee" nor ever a permanent fixture in the band, and as far as I recall The Cure pre-dated any of his fleeting involvements with The Banshees. What is it you don't like about Mr Smith anyway, Edna? I'm intrigued ....(Do you have some "showbiz-insider" insight??!)

When I was in my mid-teens, once my brother had passed his driving test, I started travelling regularly with him to the home matches of our favourite football team, Leeds United. We made this journey so many times, and it normally meant listening to his tape collection, (especially anything he'd bought recently), that certain albums have become synonymous in my mind with a particular stretch of the M62 motorway. I can't pass Eggborough Power Station in a westerly direction without hearing The Skids' "Circus Games" (from "The Absolute Game"). Similarly, I would be surprised to reach FerryBridge Services without reminiscing upon Siouxsie and The Banshees "Kaleidoscope" album. (Also synonymous with this journey, The Jam's "Setting Sons" and "Sound Affects", and Talking Heads "Remain in Light", but to a lesser extent. Probably because these are albums I've also listened to frequently in different circumstances and environments) Interestingly (perhaps only to me), this only works on the Westbound carriageway; going home on the East-bound, we would always be listening to "Sports Report" for the match reports, so I don't equate that journey with these albums at all... But West-bound, Eggborough, the stereo effect in the intro to "Circus Games"... aaah, happy memories...

Sometimes people can be a bit irrational when they let their personal objections to an individual cloud their judgement of that person's "art". I know that Polly Harvey alienated some of her female "fan-base", when she admiited (...wait for it....) "I wouldn't really describe myself as a feminist" Others boycotted her when she admitted in a magazine interview (when questioned,for some reason, as to her views on fox-hunting, ) that, whilst not pro-hunting, she had no great sympathy for foxes: having grown up on a Dorset farm, foxes had frequently visited murderous carnage upon her own pet chickens. So, despite being the most talented, creative and "edgy" female singer / musician of the decade, and having done no harm to anybody at all, she was losing support left, right and centre. To this day, a friend of mine will not give the time of day to Siouxsie and The Banshees (whose substantial "oeuvre" harbours a myriad delights) on the grounds that at the height of the punk-rock explosion, Siouxsie (about 17 at the time)wore a swastika armband. Now I'll gladly nail my colours to the mast right now and declare myself an anti-racist and anti-fascist, but...heck, we all make mistakes, particularly where our fashion sense is concerned... but no, apparently Siouxsie is beyond redemption. Personally, despite being a massive fan of (UK ska band) The Specials, I went right off singer Terry Hall on discovering that he's a Man United fan. Thankfully, pretty much everything he did since The Specials has been a pile of Tom Tit, so it hasn't been too tricky disregarding his "work". As for your predicament, johnny...Well I'm no great Robbie Williams fan myself, but I don't find it that hard to admit that he's a good-enough singer and an excellent performer (saw him at Leeds Festival a few years ago: he was unexpectedly outstanding) Ok, so he's a bit of a tosser, but he's not exactly toxic, is he? So what's your problem? Is it that you're a purist?

Now this one really is scarry.......

Well.. GO ON THEN, PUNK...MAKE MY DAY!