Steel2Velvet

Somehow, Bill Clinton at a Hollywood award ceremony seems very apropos; his name will be forever synonymous with golden globes.

Top 10 things that could go wrong with this year's Super Bowl 10. The Patriots might play in it 9. Mick Jagger has a wardrobe malfunction during halftime show. 8. The Ryan twins stage a protest outside, holding signs that say, WE SHOULD BE COACHING IN THIS GAME! A counter-protest ensues, with hundreds of fans holding signs that say, YOU WOULD BE...IF YOU DIDN'T SUCK! 7. The Olsen and Nelson Twins are supporting acts for this year's pregame ceremonies. 6. Peyton goes down with a knee sprain and Frisco gets the job done. 5. Brent Musburger spots a pretty girl in the crowd. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions Already Broken 10. You try to be more courteous to drivers on the road. 9. Trying to be 'Master Of My Domain' 8. Not to smoke weed more than twice a day. 7. You promise the Mrs. you'll stop driving like Harvey Keitel in Pulp Fiction. 6. Cut down on caffeine. 5. Adopt the ways of the Mayan. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Irish not listening to you, Tim. Right now at the end of the first half, only bright side for ND fans is they have a great excuse to get really (like, "I forget") drunk.

Top Ten Indications Of A New Year Hangover. 10. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still." 9. The miserable hangover experience is accompanied with a case of sore throat and bad cough due to being outside in the cold all night. 8. The only way to make yourself feel better is to crack open a beer. 7. It's January 4th and you're still trying to figure out where you were. 6. You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet. 5. Your barf looked like New Year's Rockin' Eve...but sounded better. 4. You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight. 3. It's January first. You were at a party last night. Hello? 2. 1.

Not really. "He's merely a glorious hypocrite." - Tipper Gore

Top Ten Reasons You Wouldn't Want A Rock Drummer At Your Christmas Party 10. He'd drink all the eggnog. 9. He might try to sing 8. He'd try to f**k your daughter....and probably your son. 7. You're out of step when the conga line gets going. 6. He'll start using the empty keg as a snare drum 5. He'll do lines of coke off my dog's head. 4. He'd bring his own reindeer, and then make you clean up after them. 3. After getting drunk (or maybe even before), he'd take all your pots out of your cupboard and bang on them with your wooden spoons to show off his skills. 2. Most repeated song request will be "Little Drummer Boy," and most guests probably would not recognize the version offered. 1.

Gotta give props to Jason Marz for including the verb "scooch" in his song I'm Yours. It's a great word.

It could be argued that there are those even more innocent and vulnerable than children in a schoolroom - those awaiting their time in the womb. Anyone denying a correlation in cheapening life in one location, at the expense of the other, is purposefully deluding themselves.

Happy Birthday, Ben. I appreciate the man you've become. Hope the family is great.

Cool! Congrats, Brad and Mrs. Brad.

I'd file for social security. The world would never end during a federal process!

Three would add significant credibility to nine.

I got tears coming out of my eyes laughing here, now. Thanks for inhabiting this little Oznian world, Sammy.

Top 10 Ways the World Would End on 12/21/2012 10. Pissed off Romney supporters create a nuclear holocaust. 9. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. 8. Obama's appeasement policy toward Iran gives them time to finish making a nuclear weapon that they drop on Israel. 7. Another country defeats Canada at an International hockey tournament and we get so pissed the entire nation starts a hockey fight vs. the world 6. Canada takes over the world. 5. A very, very late diagnosis of a somewhat massive cancerous tumor is found deep in Mt. Etna. Doctors give days. Many killed in rush to houses of worship. 4. 3. 2. 1.

That's the one I'd imagine for you, Tim!

Top 10 Ways the World Would End on 12/21/2012 10. Pissed off Romney supporters create a nuclear holocaust. 9. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Top 10 Worst Singing Voices 10. Randy Newman 9. Joe Cocker 8. Kurt Cobain 7. Tiny Tim (even with all that range) 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Hi, Jane. Good to see you post again ... and especially in response to one of my pieces. Many hugs *

A most Happy Birthday to the Irish pair and good luck during your team's attempt to secure a national title for your school. (Just have to beat Alabama, that's all.)

Top Ten Artists of Vocal Range 10. David Bowe 9. Jackson Pollock 8. Freddie Mercury 7. Bob Ross 6. Tiny Tim 5. Roy Orbison 4. 3. 2. 1.

Top Ten Bad Advertising Slogans 10. Dr. Payne wants to be your dentist. 9. On the side of a Little Debbie delivery truck - "Little Debbie's got a treat for you" 8. Vibrator company: "Go f@ck yourself" 7. Firestone Tires: Don't Forget Your Rubber! 6. On the front of a vending machine - "Taste the Freshness!" 5. "Bite The Big One" - Ball Park Franks 4. Nothing sucks like a Kirby Vacuum 3. Can You Hear Me Now? (Verizon) 2. "Feel The Sensation" - Taser International 1. Berlitz wants to turn you into a polyglot! _____________ Top Ten Artists of Vocal Range 10. David Bowe 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

Didn't we just do this a few months back? Seems we do it every year. Stay on top of things, Marc.

One Hit Wonders Lightning Strikes Twice Third Time's The Charm 4-Part Harmony