Jump to content

Drastic Mood Changes


Ender
 Share

Recommended Posts

ummm.....enjoy, oh, and a bit of feedback wouldnt be bad :-)

i find it funny how old familiar faces

are able to cause such drastic mood changes

and finding yourself in old familiar places

is able to sway emotions in most cases

weve all seen the tole it takes on the heart

you already know how bad its going to end

but its worth it just to see the start

i sit in a sleepless haze and wonder

if i scared you with my lighting or my thunder

i didnt mean to fright you with my intentions

i slipped out the words in a pathetic confession

the reassuring grin in your eyes was no longer present

your skin felt a bit colder and your heart beat a bit slower

your hands seemed a bit farther and your lips a bit more sour

just because of the words that came with my flower

i find it funny how old familiar faces

are able to cause such drastic mood changes

and finding yourself in old familiar places

is able to sway emotions in most cases

weve all seen the tole it takes on the heart

you already know how bad its going to end

but its worth it just to see the start

i said the three wrong words and wanted the same from you

so i asked the dumbest thing, "do you love me?"

you gave me such a long answer for such a short question

i would have preffered a simple no than the brief silent tension

i found myself holding your hand without being on the same planet

things were going so well i guess i took it as granted

i saw the color leave your face and felt the tears in my eyes

i was foolish ever to think that you could ever be mine

i find it funny how old familiar faces

are able to cause such drastic mood changes

and finding yourself in old familiar places

is able to sway emotions in most cases

weve all seen the tole it takes on the heart

you already know how bad its going to end

but its worth it just to see the start

three weeks with only seventeen hours of sleep

hallucinations that there was still a you and me

i layed on my side each night facing the door

wishing to catch some sleep and hoping for some dreams

because now it seems to be the only way ill see you anymore

lost twenty pounds and two months off of my life

chronic insomnia and a broken heart changed how i looked at a knife

i find it funny how old familiar faces

are able to cause such drastic mood changes

and finding yourself in old familiar places

is able to sway emotions in most cases

weve all seen the tole it takes on the heart

you already know how bad its going to end

but its worth it just to see the start

in a drunken driven fit of pain and remembrance

i stumble my way to the diners front entrance

i sit in the same table in which i first saw you

and who should i see as i glance around the room

the rosy red in your cheeks has returned to full bloom

a few too many brews has distorted my balance and view

but still i was able to make out that you were not alone

and it killed to hear you use that old familiar tone

i get up to leave and for a second i catch her eye

i felt oddly warm and happy but at the same time i thought i was going to wilt and die

i find it funny how old familiar faces

are able to cause such drastic mood changes

and finding yourself in old familiar places

is able to sway emotions in most cases

weve all seen the tole it takes on the heart

you already know how bad its going to end

but its worth it just to see the start

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A very good exercise in writing, James! I like that you stayed true to your rhyme scheme and, until the very end, to your cadence and rythmn as well. (Much easier to form a melody around consistant cadence.) Your theme was maintained throughout and the images flowed well to follow your feelings and thoughts. The best lines for me were:

"in a drunken driven fit of pain and remembrance

i stumble my way to the diners front entrance"

Good imagery and great word selections for the rhyme. Not typical at all. Very creative throughout.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...