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Problems with this World


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Im really getting sick and tired of all this Bull****

The officer i did a ride along with, he became a friend to me. He was awesome. Today...at 3 30 he was shot in the head. He died shortly after arriving at the hospital. This really sucks, it had to happen to him...it just had to. WHY?!!!Theres NO POINT!

It turned out to be some mexican, they are charging him with Capital Murder.Hes a cop killer...they should send him to a prison in mexico...see how that goes over. Life really pisses me off sometimes. But this gives me more reason to become a police officer, to keep ***holes off the street like that. He was only 27...he had a wife...kids. Screw it...

Thats all folks...

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Paul, I am very sorry to hear about your friends death. Sadly, this is not an uncommon thing to happen in law enforcement. One of the officers in my department, David March, was murdered by an illegal immigrant who had been deported several times before for drug charges and assault. The reason he killed Deputy March was because he was afraid he was going to go to jail again. He is now down in Mexico where he is free to live out his life without having to worry about his government capturing him and extraditing him back to the US to face capital murder charges. While I did not know David March personally, I know a lot of people who did know him. In the 15 1/2 years that I have been a cop, I have been to 13 cop funerals. I have know 4 of these men personally. It never gets easier. I am going to stop now because I am starting to ramble and get angry. I have to go to sleep soon and if I get wound up, I will not be able to sleep.

Remember Paul, it is normal to feel angry and want to get pay back. Just make sure, when you finally do hit the street, you don't let your emotions get the best of you. That's how officers get hurt.

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I can imagine you have to have control of your emotions. The one thing he taught me is and i quote...

"When you are off the clock, and you go home and take that belt off...your job is over. The tough thing is that you are labeled as a cop everywhere you go."

I might be askin things here and there about cops and the job. I have to say you must be more experienced than most police officers since you work in LA. It truly is a War Against Crime there.

Thankyou for your words. And im sorry for all the cop funerals you have had to attend.


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Paul, feel free to ask me questions anytime. That was good advice about leaving the job at the job. There will be times when it is hard to get something out of your mind, but find a way to do it! That has really helped me prevent developing the dreaded "us vs. them" mentality. That is not a good thing. I have been lucky, in that my personality makes it easy for me to relax. More than once, people that I have met were shocked to find out later that I am in law enforcement. I take it as a complement. I think the hardest time was the first few years after graduation from the academy. Those are the years where it becomes easy to get caught up in things when off duty because you are feeling invincible. Dont get caught in that trap!

As far as working in LA, well I have seen some things. Not as much as some, more than others, but it is hard to go 15 years without feeling every emotion. As I type to you now, I am working only 4 hr shifts behind a desk beacuse I was injured in a fight arresting a burglary suspect and I can not sit longer due to pain. Not the first time I have been hurt, but hopefully the last. Probably not, though. Another pearl of wisdom.....stay in shape. A 4 minute fight is a loooong fight without help. You will fair better if you are in good shape. Being in shape will also help you keep from being injured, or will help you recover if you do get injured. And in your career, you will be injured.

Thats it for now. I have some scheduling work to do :P


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Of course...this gives me a whole new outlook on the song Bohemian Rhapsody. As i was driving home last night, the song came on. People dont cry to Queen...but i did. I dont know how...but it touched me in some way. Made me think not only of my beloved friend...but of the shooter. How, he must have been filled with such rage as to not know what he was doing, and then realized if afterwards. Am i filled with anger...yes i am. Do i want to hurt the ones who hurt my friends...yes i do. But will I? No...no i won't. Any way the wind blows right?? :blah:

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide,

No escape from reality.

Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see,

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,

Because I'm easy come, easy go, Little high, little low,

Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.

Mama, just killed a man,

Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead.

Mama, life had just begun,

But now I've gone and thrown it all away.

Mama, ooh, Didn't mean to make you cry,

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,

Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.

Too late, my time has come,

Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time.

Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go,

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.

Mama, ooh, I don't want to die,

I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,

Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango.

Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me.

(Galileo.) Galileo. (Galileo.) Galileo, Galileo figaro

Magnifico. I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me.

He's just a poor boy from a poor family,

Spare him his life from this monstrosity.

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go.

Bismillah! No, we will not let you go.

(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go.

(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go.

(Let me go.) Will not let you go.

(Let me go.) Will not let you go. (Let me go.) Ah.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

(Oh mama mia, mama mia.) Mama mia, let me go.

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me.

So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye.

So you think you can love me and leave me to die.

Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

Nothing really matters, Anyone can see,

Nothing really matters,

Nothing really matters to me.

Any way the wind blows

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Paul, sorry to hear of your loss, any death is a terrible thing, but a violent, unexpected death has to be the worst to come to terms with for the family.

Take the high road on this one and you'll be so proud of yourself in the long run. Stay well.

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Here is another one that always makes me think of my own mortality. I always thought that this would be a good song for my funeral if I cashed in at work.

Knockin on Heaven's Door

Mama, take this badge off of me

I can't use it anymore.

It's gettin' dark, too dark for me to see

I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Mama, put my guns in the ground

I can't shoot them anymore.

That long black cloud is comin' down

I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

I also like The Liberty Bell March, but that may be a little too bouncy.

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