Inspired by Taking Back Sunday

[AMES22]

I started writing my songs and poems with more of a punk and Emo feel...here is the first one I wrote - in a very angry mood. My best stuff comes out when im pissed...go figure.

Take Off Your Sunglasses When You Talk to Me

Am I too much for you to handle?

Cuz you don?t look at me the same

I feel like a damaged box, a broken light bulb

Im not good enough anymore

Or so I?ve been told

By the voices in my head and the actions that you take

You make me feel like every word I?ve ever said

Has been a huge mistake

I let you run this town and my little world

Silly me, believing in you and what we had

I wish you had told me you were highly skilled

In twisting knives and telling lies

But I have my own talents

And they go as follows

I make an excellent doormat

And an even better dart board

So bring on the worst

Cuz I can handle it like a pro

And I?m so good at what I do

But I have to admit, not as good as you

Cuz?

I?m so good

At letting you make me feel this bad

And I?m so good

At making myself this mad

I?m so good

At watching you walk away

I?m a regular Jack of All trades

But one thing you got me beat at

You?re so good, you?re so good

At letting me down and making me come back

You leave me hanging

And I hang myself for you

Holding on to everything you ever say

I give in to the way this makes me feel

I give you everything you never have to ask for

And you hold me up just to tear me apart

I spend all my time trying to adjust my heart

To make it beat in tune with your every promise

And you leave them all un-kept

Then blame me for our down-fall

So I must remind myself?

I?m so good

At letting you make me feel this bad

And I?m so good

At making myself this mad

I?m so good

At watching you walk away

I?m a regular Jack of All trades

But one thing you got me beat at

You?re so good, you?re so good

At letting me down and making me come back

I?m the best at what I do, giving far to much to you

You stomp on me with your broken glass boots

But I?ll never cry ?uncle? and I?ll never ask for more

I?ll never ask for more than what you give

And you?ll never give me more than zero

So let me play the villain and someone else can be your hero

I love having my fifteen minutes of fame in your world

But my time always ends when your random knight rides in

You?ll say I hold you back and get in the way

I?m no longer the one that saves the day

And you tell me your life is formed around my feelings

That?s so funny, because you got me so convinced

I don?t deserve to have those on any subject, mostly you

So beat me up and bruise my face

Scold me for holding a grudge and throwing fits

And I?ll let you, Angel, ride off with your knight

Right over me and my broken heart, busted to bits

Can I just ask, I know you?ll want me to beg

Will you just finish me off?

And I?ll tell myself?.

I?m so good

At letting you make me feel bad

And I?m so good

At making myself this sad

I?m so good

At watching you walk away

I?m a regular Jack of All trades

But one thing you got me beat at

You?re so good, you?re so good

At letting me down and making me come back

I?m so [bleep] good at what I do

I?d sacrifice my life for you

But you never told me you were so highly skilled

At twisting knives and telling lies

Maybe someday you could teach me your ways

And I?ll try them out on you

Cuz [bleep] me over seems to be the latest craze

So twist the knife that ends my life

And tell the lies that drown my eyes

Cuz you know I?ll come back for more

I always come back for more

Just watch your back this time?.

[Harguitay]

Oh my. You should be angry more often.

"I spend all my time trying to adjust my heart

To make it beat in tune with your every promise..."

That's outstanding.

[edna]

Oh my. You should be angry more often

I agree...

[Foxy]

You have an amazing way of channelling that anger!

I'm impressed.... It's very good.

[Jenny]

But you never told me you were so highly skilled

At twisting knives and telling lies

This is great writing and these lines are the best, IMO. I wish I could be that expressive when I'm angry.

[Steel2Velvet]

You are very gifted with creative expression, Ames. Your wording and structuring is fresh and imaginative in many places in this piece. Some of my thoughts on polishing this neat work are below:

Or so I?ve been told

By the voices in my head and the actions that you take

These two lines are unnecessary because they are already implied by the fact you have formulated this (the voice) and your very creative illustrations (the actions.)

And they go as follows

Unnecessary, you don't need to announce that you are going to say something. Just say it!

But I have to admit, not as good as you

Cuz?

These two lines could be ommitted without being missed at all.

And tell the lies that drown my eyes

I like this line a lot!

Remember lyrics/poetry is an artform that requires saying the most with the least amount of words. I am a published poet, and I always reread and edit my work many times, trying to strip it to its barest elements, before putting it out there for others to read.

You are good, Ames. You have a real talent. Get better.