Considerations

[Nicolina-Maria29648]

Okey dokey...so y'all may or may not know that E.E. Cummings (note the capitalization...yes, the lawyers finally resolved this issue!!) is my favorite poet and one of my greatest influences. Coupled with James Joyce, you get one mean, slightly confusing piece of prose. So basically, this is a stream-of-consciousness poem with Cummingsesque spacing, punctuation, capitalization and intended spelling errors (note: attentionspan...get it? hehe). Basically, this was my train of thought at 12:45 am in the form of a poem.

Considerations

and taking into account

all that I have done

to create this Invalid Dream?

i consider what i have finally come

to realize

is nothing more

than a short attentionspan

&

a desire for something

that my Mind cannot quite wrap around.

and yet

? in all seriousness ?

i still believe that i might

?OneDay?

just touch that Wishing-Star;

ven if only

with my Eyes.

We've finally found freedom of a different kind

~A girl to her horse

[Kevin]

I really like the first verse, but I think you're running into trouble in your second,for both rhythm and melody... unless you have them worked out.

:: :guitar:

[Earth-Angel]

Um, Kevin - helps to read the synopsis before jumping into the story.

you get one mean, slightly confusing piece of prose. So basically, this is a stream-of-consciousness poem with Cummingsesque spacing, punctuation, capitalization and intended spelling errors (note: attentionspan...get it? hehe). Basically, this was my train of thought at 12:45 am in the form of a poem.

Nikki, quite interesting in terms of the flow. As a whole, as a poem, it doesn't quite work for me (I'm more traditionalist when it comes to prose) but it's new and unusual and that's cool I like the last stanza's feeling.

[Kevin]

Noted, Ea, but just commenting as presented-- as requested .

[Carl]

I'm a bit of a punctuation junkie, so I thought this was really interesting. As someone who fears an elipsis, I loved the random elements paying off with the shortattentionspan line. The last few lines lost me (ven?), but the first half is outstanding.

[Nicolina-Maria29648]

haha the ven...definately a typo...supposed to say EVEN haha

yeah, it confused me too when i read teh post!

[_jr_]

I like it. It's a revelation of one's dreams, although presently not attainable, there's the realization that they might be one day. And if not, the person is comfortable with the fact that they may only be able to see them, if not reach.

[Addictedtoclassic]

When I read it all at once it sounds good, but when you add in the line breaks and the punctuation it just seems to add to the poem so much. I really need to start posting more of my own stuff. Of course, last time I did poetry no one responded..

[Nicolina-Maria29648]

POST IT POST IT!!! I promise i'll respond