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Assault with a friendly weapon?


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http://www.fresnobee.com/263/story/848554.html

By Louis Galvan / The Fresno Bee09/06/08 21:55:06

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A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed food seasoning over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.

Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.

Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.

Antonio Vasquez Jr.

"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.

Arrested was Antonio Vasquez Jr., 21, of Fresno.

Burrimond said deputies headed to the victims' home in the 300 block of South Thompson Avenue near Kings Canyon Road shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.

The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying "Pappy's Seasoning" to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.

Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.

After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.

Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.

"That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said.

"I tell you, this was one weird case."

The reporter can be reached at lgalvan@fresnobee.com

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So you'd turn a blind eye to a guy strolling down the street with a 2' pepperoni ,in his hands say , even if he were wearing gang markings and clearly violating resricted areas ... ( likely has poultry seasoning on him , too ).

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uNLESS HE IS ON PROBATION, POSSESSION OF A DELI MEAT 2" OR LESS IS LEGAL IN cALIFORNIA. eVERYONE WEARS GANG CLOTHING THESE DAYS, SO THATS NOT A BIG DEAL. wHAT ARE THESE RESTRICTED AREAS YOU SPEAK OF? pOULTRY SEASONING IS OK TO CARRY, SO LONG AS IT IS USED ONLY IN SELF DEFENSE OR CULINARY ACTIONS.

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From Monty Python's "World's Funniest Joke"

Wiki says:

The Germans soon formulate a counter-joke, which is translated into English and played over the radio to London, but with no success. (The joke is: "There were zwei [two] peanuts walking down der strasse [street]. Und one was assaulted (a salted)... peanut!") (Erratum: Although the preceding narration gives the counter-joke's creation as being in the autumn of 1944, the scene in which the joke is broadcast is captioned "1942 ... SOMEWHERE IN LONDON.") Also of note, the opening strains of "Deutschland über alles" can be heard at the conclusion of the counter-joke.

Different jokes are used in the television and film versions of the sketch. Footage from "Triumph of the Will" is used where it seems like Adolf Hitler is announcing the counter-joke to his soldiers: "My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Awful!"

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