blind-fitter

Did they change the thread while I wasn't looking? I haven't got any Christmas ones, so these'll have to do... "Drip Drip Drip in my pants" (Chumbawamba) "Fight For Your Right To Party in my pants" (Beastie Boys) "Mama Told Me Not To Come In my Pants" (Three Dog Night) "Where's Captain Kirk? In my Pants" (Spizzenergi) "Party Till You Puke in My Pants" (Whatever His Name was) "There's A kind of Hush in my Pants" (Carpenters) "Place Your Hands in my Pants" (Reef) "Bushfire in my pants" (B52s) "The Magnificent Seven in my pants" (The Clash) "Is Vic There in my pants?" (Department S) "Release The Bats in my pants" (The Birthday Party) "Let's Spend The Night Together in my pants" (Rolling Stones) "Tower of Strength in my pants" (The Mission) "She Moves In Mysterious Ways in my pants" (U2) "Two Out of Three Aint Bad in my pants" (Meatloaf) "Two Monstrous Nuclear Stockpiles in my pants" (Discharge) and,..severely risking accusations of homo-erotic flirtation here... "Johnny Was in my pants" (Stiff Little Fingers or Bob Marley)

Tch...you go away for a few days, and come back to find all hell let loose. At the risk of being mis-construed, I don't mind saying "my dander is up", but hopefully I will remain as composed and reasonable as possible. I refute the suggestion that I have been "stirring things up". Let's have a look at what actually happened here... 1) Someone posted yet another vote for "Turning Japanese" 2) I pointed out that this makes it a candidate for official "One-Hit Wonder Champion" So far, reasonably close to the thread-theme. 3) Psychocatholic ventured his opinion that the song is "disgusting" 4) I responded by venturing my opinion that the song is only disgusting if one perceives masturbation to be disgusting / degrading (given that "masturbation" is the theme of the song). I don't happen to concur that masturbation is any more disgusting than any other sexual act. Given that there are thousands of songs about "sex" out there, (many thinly-disguised excuses for distasteful misogyny), why not an odd few that celebrate "the Greatest Love of All", a relatively benign and commonplace pastime? Despite the use of jocular euphemisms for "the one-handed act", I believe this was a reasonably mature exchange of views. 5) I went on to point out that the songs title / chorus has racist connotations. In my view this is arguably more offensive than the subject matter in hand. (Ooops!) Now forgive me if I'm wrong, but I've got the impression that the exchange of opinion, insight and information about music is SongFacts' essential "raison d'etre", so I'm struggling to understand in what way I have "transgressed". You appeal for the return of a "moderator". What does this mean? Does "moderator" = "Censor"? If so, I don't get it. Why am I convinced that the song is about masturbation? (Anyone noticed how boring "masturbation" is when it's repeated over and over again? ) Well, it is...believe me. I am loath to explain, as I feel it will demystify the song, spoil its charm, and cast The Vapours (who were an excellent band) in an unfavourable light. But, if it will help to remove the charges hanging over me.....here goes: The narrator is "imprisoned" (either literally or metaphorically: the listener must decide) and his obsessive desire for the object of his "affections", (who is unattainable), is driving him kinda crazy: this much is fairly clear. But what kind of madness is this, that possesses him so? You'll no doubt have noticed his repeated concern that (in his words) "I'm Turning Japanese, I think I'm Turning Japanese, I really think so". Bizarre? Not really. You see the title / chorus is a reference to an old racist joke, which (alas) has a visual punchline (hence difficult to convey here). This "joke" essentially suggests that certain physical characteristics perceived as typically Oriental (namely prominent teeth and narrow eyes) are the result of frantic and frequent masturbation. There...now I've spoiled the song for everyone I can go home. But not before a word in passing about johnnyguitar, who has apparently Whilst I'm flattered to be on the receiving end of your patronage, johnny (do you practice, or does it come naturally?), I really don't need it. For the record "scatalogical" means "pertaining to the study of excrement". On that basis, one would assume my posts to be littered (sorry!) with frequent references to the bodily function of "defecation". To my knowledge, the closest I have come to anything genuinely "scatalogical" has been one fairly innocuous use of the word "crap". (Oh, and possibly a more emphatic sh!t) I'm not sure what johnny was playing at when he decided to alienate the entire continent of Australasia, but he appears to have had the spanking his comments deserved. I must say though that his "some of my favourite bands are Australian" defence was rather feeble: suspiciously reminiscent of the old "I'm not racist, some of my friends are darkies" line. If I'm not mistaken, some of the most repellent Nazi-scum skinheads of yesteryear were very fond of Jamaican ska music...but that's another story. I hope we're all still friends. Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All.

I think you answered your own question right there, mate.

(It was all) Yellow in my pants (Coldplay) I Predict a Riot in my pants (Kaiser Chiefs) I Never Came in my pants: (Queens of the Stone Age) I'm Hanging Around in my pants (Leyton Buzzards) Killing Me softly in my pants (Fugees) Let Me entertain You in my pants (R***** W******s) Fistful of Steel in my pants (RATM) Tired of Waiting for You in my pants (The Kinks) I Feel Much Better in my pants (The Small Faces) I who Have Nothing In my Pants (Shirley Bassey) I Still haven't Found What I'm Looking For in My Pants (U2) Since I have barely even looked at my own music collection, I worry that this might be merely the tip of the iceberg. Batman, cool thread!

Here's a few i just knocked out.... Elvis Costello: Accidents Will happen in my pants Blink 182: All the Small Things in my pants Supergrass: Caught By The Fuzz in my pants Soundgarden : Jesus Christ Pose in my Pants Elton John: Candle in the Wind in my Pants Gilbert O'Sullivan: Alone Again (Naturally in my pants) Cilla Black: Something Tells Me Something's Gonna Happen Tonight in my Pants Whitney: I Wanna Dance with Somebody Who Loves Me In my Pants The Stranglers: Let Me Introduce You to the Family in my Pants The Sweet: Hell-Raiser in my Pants Skids: The Saints Are Coming in my Pants Demob: No Room For You in My Pants Buzzcocks: Oh Sh!t in my pants Brian Eno: Here Come the Warm Jets in my pants Eric Clapton: I Shot the Sheriff in my pants Charlie Daniels Band: The Devil Went Down to Georgia in my pants James Brown: I Feel Good in my pants Jerry Lee Lewis: Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' on in my pants Jimi Hendrix: The Wind Cries Mary in my Pants Chairman of the Board: Give Me Just A Little More Time in my Pants Gary Glitter: Remember me This Way, (In My Pants) I like this game!

My pleasure.

A few minutes ago I was listening to "Prime Mover" by Zodiac Mindwarp and The Love Reaction, and thought, "now that's a ridiculous name..."

I'm listening to one right now: "Telegram Sam" recorded by Bauhaus. Others I've been listening to quite recently: The Slits version of "Heard It Through The Grapevine" SplodgenessAbounds rendition of "Two Little Boys" Talking of Rolf Harris, I for one really rated his cover of "Stairway to Heaven". Keep it up, Rolf!

I'd have to say "Viva Hate"..... ......cos it's the only one I've got.

They don't come much more depressed than this.... "Depressed Christmas" by Culturecide (mumbled and murmured to the tune of "White Christmas") I'm having a depressed Christmas Just like the one I had last year. My slit wrist glistens, as I listen To the last Christmas song I'll ever hear. I'm having a depressed Christmas, With this last letter that I write. May your days be merry and bright, And may all your Christmases be white.

I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say that "Turning Japanese" is "disgusting". Maybe if you find the concept / practice of masturbation disgusting or degrading it is... Having enjoyed a healthy on/off relationship with Madam Fist and her five lovely daughters over the years, I think it's quite amusing that the song has scored such a big hit, and surreptitiously slipped the subject into the world-nation's subconscious. Fair play to The Vapors: they are virtually legendary through getting the general public singing along to a song about choking the chicken. Not many can make that claim. Mind you, the title itself is pretty close to the bone (ahem!) and potentially offensive, though most remain blissfully unaware of its racist connotations.

Ooooh.. you're so razor-sharp! D'you know what? I went out to my "local" on Saturday night for "a quiet pint". For some reason they'd got a DJ in. Within minutes, said DJ "treated us" to, in succession (and over-loud): Bryan Adams "Summer of 69", Queen "We Will Rock You" and Meatloaf "Paradise By the Dashboard Light". 'Twas like I'd died and woken up in Hell... Needless to say, we supped up quickly and moved on.

Sonic Youth's version of The Carpenters' "Superstar" is amazingly good. The video was pretty stunning too...As I recall, the shots of the band performing the song "live" had superimposed "ghosted" visions of Karen Carpenter singing along with them. Wild! Red Kross also did a good version of "Yesterday Once More". These were contributions to a "Carpenters Tribute" album featuring a whole host of US "alt-rock" luminaries, but I only got the promo single with these two tracks on.

Your English teacher would top himself if he read this gobbledegook, johnny. Try and make some sense, boy!

I think not, johnnyg, as I've a feeling that the Duchess single pre-dates "Only Fools and Horses" by several years. A more dedicated researcher would provide concrete evidence revealing this to be absolute fact, but frankly, I'm fairly confident on this one, so let someone else do the donkey-work.

It's possible that "Duchess" is completely delusional regarding her "aristocratic background" but the key thing is her perception of herself as a Duchess, a person of "class" rather than a member of the common herd, whatever her current living circumstances. In either case, the bit about "Rodneys" being unworthy chancers who don't meet up to her requirements still applies. I think.

Happy to oblige, as much as I possibly can, to shed some light on the somewhat mystifying lyrics to "Duchess". ( I haven't got the lyrics in front of me so apologies for any slight mis-quotes) Ok , so here goes... The "Duchess" in question "says she's an heiress", (i.e. she's from aristocratic stock) yet "lives on a terrace" (suggesting her aristocratic family have fallen on hard times) You'll notice that she "knows all the history in the family" and "says she's Henry's kid". This is a reference to King Henry 8th: she claims that her family is directly descended from royalty. Where "the Rodneys" come in is linked to the earlier line "Needs a man, God Forbid". "Rodney" symbolises the kind of nouveau-riche chancers with no "breeding" (You know the type...) who trail around marriageable aristocratic chicks, to try and buy into "class" / nobility. Why "Rodney"? Because, nobody with any class / breeding whatsoever would call their son "Rodney", hence Rodney represents the kind of plebby commoner, of whom her parents would strongly disapprove. Hope nobody thinks I'm taking the pi$$ with this analysis, because, believe it or not, it's my honest interpretation of the lyrics. Without quoting it all, I think the rest of the lyric substantiates the themes I've mentioned of "class" "changing family circumstances", etc. This debate's been around for years. I remember it being discussed in the Letters page of Smash Hits magazine about 26 years ago!

Oh, you're sooooooooooooo right on the nail there.

Hang on a minute...when was The Plasmatics "heyday"? (I use the term loosely...) 4 weeks in the UK chart, reaching the giddy heights of No.55 in 1980? You were young, impressionable, not getting any....that sounds so like me. Mind you,I was only fifteen at the time... For some intangible reason johnny, I've had you down as a "slightly older chap", (probably your encyclopaedic knowledge of 40 years of rock'n'pop!!!) Sorry if I've misjudged you... Getting back to the point though...Over the last 25 years I must've read a ton of interviews with punk bands in music mags/fanzines, and I don't recall a single one that cited The Plasmatics as "an influence". I've only ever met one person who actually claimed to like'em.(Until now...) So I'm not sure they really warrant a place in this thread on either account. We may have 'boobed' there.... Oh dear, I think it's probably for the breast if we leave it at that, don't you? Finally though, I would like to add in tribute to the now-departed Miss O'Williams, "Wendy, even if your musical legacy was not that spectacular, on behalf of johnnyguitar and many other easily-impressed juveniles..... .... ...."Thanks for the mammaries" (blind-fitter crawls under rock)

Excellent, some of the finest minds in the world have worked together on this: we seem to have reached a consensus of sorts. What do you think, ST? Has the fog lifted?

Wendy O'Williams? What a woman??Our Wendy? She your sister or summat? I know it's out of order to speak ill of the dead but..... johnnyg, I'd love it if you could explain what you found attractive / talented about Miss WOW. (Please don't just say "her tits")

Ok, so I'm shallow, I know. Sounds like he might be about to top himself, maybe, (because of guilt?? the old "emotional blackmail strategy" being put into play??). Am I close?

Is he popping out to the Post Office for some stamps?

MOTORHEAD Get a "Best of..." compilation. You shouldn't be disappointed.

Not sure that was the main reason the Pistols split, but I won't argue. Just wanted to say that if you genuinely feel the Sex Pistols were /are highly over-rated, fair-do, you're entitled to go ahead and say so. No skin off my nose. (Like your signature, btw. Is it a new one?) But anyways, while I'm here and we're talking "over-rated", TRY THIS FOR SIZE.... MEATLOAF? I didn't get it when I was fifteen, and I still don't get it now....