scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 I have no transcended mere walking Now at gorgeoius skies I am gawking Sarcastic voices dn't seem mocking All is right, to me crowds are flocking Come along with me, no longer weak How you tell when you find what you seek: When you reach the point that you can't speak Then I can welcome you to the peak Now I feel far better than fine I can see you now, I know you're mine I've got my priorities in line Your happy thoughts are more than sunshine Come along with me, no longer weak How you tell when you find what you seek: When you reach the point that you can't speak Then I can welcome you to the peak I'm soaring faster now, through the sky With you, I never have to say 'bye' I'm comfortable, don't have to lie Within your gaze, I'm not the fall guy Come along with me, no longer weak How you tell when you find what you seek: When you reach the point that you can't speak Then I can welcome you to the peak Why are you hovering over me? Your hands on my face, drenched in red tea There are stars as far as I can see You weep "I've come to set you free" Come along with me, no longer weak How you tell when you find what you seek: When you reach the point that you can't speak Then I can welcome you to the peak My mind, it feels so clean, been bleached white Flying through the clouds, the lights so bright I've been bestowed with new mental might You're starring, Why? Givin' me a fright Come along with me, no longer weak How you tell when you find what you seek: When you reach the point that you can't speak Then I can welcome you to the peak My fingers feel new and nubile My whole body feels fresh, in style I want to stay like this for a while I Never want to turn this dial Come along with me, no longer weak How you tell when you find what you seek: When you reach the point that you can't speak Then I can welcome you to the peak The clouds have now become my pillow I lie blanketed by willow My breeze provided by wind's bellow I see you there, like the first "hello" Come along with me, no longer weak How you tell when you find what you seek: When you reach the point that you can't speak Then I can welcome you to the peak Sleeping now, in my heavenly bed I wonder, "how to here was I led" Your clear eyes, look shocked, something I said? Suddenly it dawns "My God, I'm dead!' Come along with me, no longer weak How you tell when you find what you seek: When you reach the point that you can't speak Then I can welcome you to the peak Blood pours from my limp body like rain I wonder "What in life did I gain" This can't be it, my final refrain. Strange, with you here, I feel no pain. Okay, I really like this one for two reasons 1)It's a completely different style for me, and plus the endings kind of morbid (who saw it comin? ) 2)One of two things I've printed here that has a definate ending (Out of Time being the other one that I've printed here, there's only like two others and they aren't very good) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Thank you, I like it too, which is saying something because it is very rare when I actually enjoy reading something that I wrote, most of the time when I read my own work I get a little pain in my stomach , but not this one!I suppose the reason I like it is because of all the different meanings I put into it (there's the metaphorical sense to it, but then there's also the litteral story of someone dying.) Thanks again Gillian. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Exactly, thats why I liked it too, it kept me intrested Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Yeah each verse if you look back contains at least one clue (some more subtle then others) to what has actually happened. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Aaha clever....subliminal (sp?) advertising eh? :: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Well not so much advertising ::, but I guess you could look at it that way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Once again it looks like it's just going to be you and me carrying the whole freakin' creative writing forum(unless Bobo pops in ) Seriously why doesn't anybody else post here reguarily? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 yeah sure, we all know your gonna become a famous rocker, just dont forget the little people :: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Yeah, me and my big head. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Yeah I know, hey you should do your subliminal advertising thingie to lure them on here :: Once again it looks like it's just going to be you and me carrying the whole freakin' creative writing forum(unless Bobo pops in ) Seriously why doesn't anybody else post here reguarily? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Okay I'll try, check out the random thoughts post in the random thoughts forum, the best is no one will know my ploy because no one goes to this forum! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Muah ha ha ha.....little do they know...bahahaha, go on do a sub ad Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Yes, it was so perfect and subtle, they won't know what has come over them when they read it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 yes ive added to it...Muah ha ha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Yes I predict a sudden, unexplainable surge in the attendence of this forum. Heeheehee Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Yes, I feel a presance alright..muah ha ha, uhoh i hope they dont see this thread...quick scatter Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Yes, I feel a presance alright..muah ha ha, uhoh i hope they dont see this thread...quick scatter Wow at least this one didn't get as out of hand as the "Bridging the Void" thread, how many pages was that again? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 yeah bout, fifty million squillion bubillion, correct me if im wrong :: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Sounds 'bout right, it's threads like this one and "Bridging the Void" that I really wish more people would show up, because no offense, but pages and pages by just the same two people, just a wee bit pathetic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 yeah Scott, its all your fault, what happened to the sub ads? huh? Buffoon! :: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 I'm sorry I thought they'd work! Maybe they only will if they read the message repeatedly over and over. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Aha, I just checked the "Who's online" and Sara's here, so maybe my subliminal messages did work, I'm not a buffoon after all. P.S. Sara I'm sorry for involving you in our incredibly stupid conversation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jillianne 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 muah ha ha our plan has worked...UIREEKA!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scott 0 Report post Posted July 8, 2004 Yes I know, we're brilliant! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
