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"How to make her understand" : songs about male contrition


blind-fitter

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Someone very dear to me recently "went off on one", implicating me in such heinous crimes as "smoking" and "pratting about on the Internet till all hours" to the detriment of my family responsibilities, not to mention my personal health and hygiene.(This even though I spend the rest of my life raising her kids, cooking, laundering, shopping, etc) I would like to make up a tape for her , to listen to as she drives to and from work. Can anyone suggest songs that might convince her (possibly even subliminally)of my contrition, good intentions and human worth?

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Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed

(kinky friedman)

You uppity women I don’t understand

Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,

But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink

You’d better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed

That’s what I to my baby said,

Women’s liberation is a-going to your head,

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

Early every morning you’re out on the street

Passing out pamphlets to everyone you meet.

You gave up your maiden form for lent

And now the front of your dress has an air scoop vent.

Every single brakeman that’s ever come along

Had a little woman always tellin’ him that he’s wrong.

Eve said to adam, ¡°here’s an apple you horse¡±

And delilah defoliated samson’s moss.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed

That’s what I to my baby said,

Women’s liberation is a-going to your head,

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

Mean-hearted harpies are breaking all the laws

Tearing up their girdles and a-burning up their bras,

Now the air is dirty and the sex is clean

And your coffee makes my hair turn green.

So damn emancipated in your mind and your body,

Gonna have to cancel all your lessons in karate.

If you can’t love a male chauvinist

You’d better cross me off your shopping list.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed

That’s what I to my baby said,

Women’s liberation is a-going to your head,

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

;)

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The Man Song

by Sean Morey

I don't take no crap from anybody! ... else but you.

I wear the pants around here!...when I'm finished with your laundry.

'Cause I'm a guy you don't want to fight! ... when I say "jump" you say "yeah, right".

I'm the man of this house! ... until you get home.

What I say goes around here! ... right out the window.

And I don't want to hear a lot of whining! ... so I'll shut up.

The sooner you learn who's boss around here! ... the sooner you can give me my orders, dear.

'Cause I am the head honcho! ... but it's all in my head.

And I can have sex anytime! ... that you want.

'Cause I'm a man who has needs! ... but they're not that important.

And don't expect any flowers from me! ... because if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewelry.

I'm the king of my castle! ... when you're not around.

And I'll drink and watch sports whenever I want! ... to get into trouble.

And I'll come home when I'm good and ready! ... to sleep on the couch.

Because a man's got to do what a man's got to do! ... and I'm going to do what you tell me to.

Because I'm top dog around here! ... but I've been neutered!

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Artist/Band: Lovett Lyle

Lyrics for Song: She's No Lady

Lyrics for Album: Live in Texas

She hates my mama

She hates my daddy too

She loves to tell me

She hates the things I do

She loves to lie beside me

Almost every night

She's no lady she's my wife

The preacher asked her

And she said I do

The preacher asked me

And she said yes he does too

And the preacher said

I pronounce you 99 to life

Son she's no lady she's your wife

And I can't remember

How I met her

Seems like she's always just been hanging here off my right arm

And I can't remember

How I ever

Thought that I just couldn't live without a woman's charm

And even though

She loves the smell of French perfume

And even though

She walks around in high-heel shoes

All I know

Is I'm the one who pays her price

Man she's no lady she's my wife

And I can't remember

How I met her

Seems like she's always just been hanging here off my right arm

And I can't remember

How I ever

Thought that I just couldn't live without a woman's charm

Yea she hates my mama

She hates my daddy too

She loves to tell me

She hates the things I do

She loves to lie beside me

Almost every night

She's no lady she's my wife

:):):)

Edited by Guest
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