dead fish at high tide

[pete38890]

the birds had their way with you.

now the sea takes you home....

[Karhul]

Too short.

But it's good.

[Addictedtoclassic]

Is that it? Maybe you should use that to create an actual writing piece rather than just a philosophical saying.

[Foxy]

I'm saying the same as Aaron, is that it?

From what I've read you write really good thought provoking stuff, do it with this

[TrampledUnderFoot]

Those 2 sentences (or whatever they are) could be made into something really good. Add more to that!

[Aunt_Acid]

I think it's perfect the way it is. Adding anything to it would take away from its beauty. I picture it as an instrumental, and that line somewhere in the middle.