Flashbacks

[Tony Baloni]

Listen to it here!

I was looking everywhere that fear could be

Because there was a part of me

That wanted me to see

That you can't turn your back on vulnerability

I was feeling as profound as stomachs can

I was healing all the wounds innate in man

But something kept stealing my hands

and forcing them to open up again

It's not fair, I swear it's not

These are the things you thought you forgot

Every thought you think you see

Is really just a memory

I was preying on my weakest dares

I was praying to a god who wasn't there

And all I learned to ask, was

How could this be happening so fast?

I was breathing, electronic symphony

I was seething, smoldering cacophony

And all I learned to hear

was how could this happening right here

It's so real, I feel it is

These are the things that our words won't admit

All of your identity

Is really just a memory

I was talking into my future ears

I was stalking my own voice in the air

And something that myself told I, is

Do not believe anything I say!

I was trying to understand the dark

I was lying in a dystopian

and I thought I heard them say

That you can't tell when the night turns into day

[Levis]

you da bomb, yo :fingersnaps: :gangstahands: :subcultural confusion:

[Farin]

first impression after the first listen: (while writing this post I was listening the second time)

the guitar hook is great, only the intro was scratching in my speakers... maybe a bit too loud?

the best part was the passage from first chorus to second verse (1:15 - 1:25) - I dig stuff like that

also it reminds me of some song... can't think of the name now

speaking of chorus, the bass line is a bit too dynamic for the slowness of it, but that's just me

vocals are really good... really

And something that myself told I, is

Do not believe anything I say!

best line

[J Hill]

+'d 2 FB, but still I can't hear it. That's ok, b'cuz I really like the words "Every thought you think you see

Is really just a memory" & "...you can't tell when the night turns into day".

A day indeed is not over, good stuff TB!

Edited February 11, 2010 by Guest
one or three certain words

[MuzikTyme]

It's a very good poem, Tony.

But if you don't mind constructive criticism I'll add what I think.

I think your focus is trying to rhyme every verse.

I'm a terrible writer but I learned long ago that nothing is perfect. How many people have overlooked an orchid while searching for a rose?