Top 10 ways to frustrate/"Moon" judges on "American Idol"-type contests.
10. Sing "Straight Up" (or one of Paula's other songs) and do the worst impression possible.
9. Say to Randy Jackson, "Pfft, big deal!...Who didn't play bass for Journey?!"
8. After being accepted for the next stage say "this show / format is the worst thing that ever happened to music - bye"
7. Take the stage with an electric guitar, a bottle of Yukon Jack, and a lit cigarette hanging out of your mouth.
6. Tell Simon he's a pompous ass and flee
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