Top Ten Things To Do Before Making New Year's Resolutions....
10. Inhale too many left over Christmas cookies.
9. Get good and ripped on Cuervo and Wild Turkey, so you don't remember making a resolution.
8. Stop exercising totally.
7. Uh ... follow through with last year's, maybe?
6. Secure the loyalty of local military units. Place infiltrators at key points in the city such as radio and TV stations ...ohh ... resolutions ! Carry on ...
5. Beat the wife one last time.
4. Call the poor above mentioned beaten wife and beg her to bail your silly butt out of jail one last time
3. Quit your CURRENT job.
2. Double-check and repeat all the previous steps.
1.