Karhul Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 This is about my friends Aidan who I havn't seen in a long time because he is lazy and is backsliding (A term for falling away from God, feel free to ask questions about it). Tell me what you think please. Backsliding I havn't seen you in a long time Youv'e seen your job and your bed more than your friends I miss you alot Aidan You don'y have much time for anyone anymore Even your girlfriend Why are you so lazy? You don't go to church anymore on Sunday Or to AWANA on Friday night I don't think everyone misses you as much But I do Your fading away in their minds But not mine My last memory of you was on a trampoline Or at Awana I can't remember It was so long ago Please come back Not for me For you You are backsliding And you know it Drink Coffee if that would help Everyone who goes to church on Sunday has to get up early So why can't you? And why not on Friday? That's not too hard for you I've had bad times too Aidan But this, this is just not right I want to stay your friend But your drifting away from us all Please come back Aidan I miss you Well, how is it?. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addictedtoclassic Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 If this is supposed to sound like a letter written to a friend, then it's a great way to approach the subject and you've definitely made the point clear. But if it's supposed to be a poem, then it lacks structure and flow. Same thing if it's supposed to be a song. But like I said, if it's just a letter or just a thought, then it sounds great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karhul Posted February 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 If this is supposed to sound like a letter written to a friend, then it's a great way to approach the subject and you've definitely made the point clear. But if it's supposed to be a poem, then it lacks structure and flow. Same thing if it's supposed to be a song. But like I said, if it's just a letter or just a thought, then it sounds great. Your right, it's a letter to a friend, and it's what I'm thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earth-Angel Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 You've seen your job and your bed more than your friends I like this line especially. It reads quite well as a personal letter to your friend, you should write it out and pass it on to him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karhul Posted February 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 I like this line especially. It reads quite well as a personal letter to your friend, you should write it out and pass it on to him Thanks for the compliment. If I told him like that he might get offended. I think now that the way it is written is like a poem, but it's not written to rhyme, it's what I feel!!!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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