J Hill 0 Report post Posted November 5, 2009 ***this means nothing*** The Loot It must be a hoot to be so astute while starving it all looks like food. Looks like you wrote for that institute and there’s just no explaining for mood. Keep scamming, it’s demanded, as I understand it. Make the loud screaming and the random demeaning. Say thank you never take you for granted. Yet gladly accept all this chaos holds meaning. It’s seeming just like I can’t stand it. It sure must be nice to be so imbued So utterly in touch with your inner-dude Telling me you won’t lie like saying dry leaves don’t fly and feeling the way trees are leaning… I’d say that might soon be refuted. But while desperate dung looks a lot like loot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steel2Velvet 0 Report post Posted November 28, 2009 I like it. The meter skips nicely in spots, almost Dr. Seuss-like. That meter inconsistent throughout, which adds its own ironic touch to this theme of inconsistency. If mine, I would eliminate the "But while" from the last line. Those words are unneccesary; and in fact, wasted words are a poet's bane. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MuzikTyme 0 Report post Posted November 28, 2009 J Hill, that was almost excellent! A- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
