No clue what to call this, suggestions welcome

[Tony Baloni]

You've gotta be charming

You've gotta be known

If you wanna make it in this town

You gotta be a portrait

If you want to be seen

You've got to be the next James Dean

You've gotta be in

To get out

You've gotta be what it's about

You better run

If you wanna make your train

You better Tear across the plains

When will you learn

A love song won't play on its own

When will you earn

A night not spent alone

The sun's coming up

It pours through the cracks in the breeze

Where did I wake up

Is this really me?

You've got to be a poet

If you wanna be heard

You've gotta dry oceans with your words

You've gotta start a riot

Amid peaceful bliss

To show the people how much more there really is.

[Steel2Velvet]

Tony, it is so encouraging for me to see those as young as you writing and posting lyrical poetry on this site. This is evidence that the craft is alive and that thoughtful reflections are considered worth the investment of time. This is how most good songwriters start.

Your meter (pace/rhythmn) breaks up in the third stanza, but that is fixable. I like the idea of a double two line bridge, but the four line fourth stanza throws me abit. I suspect you tried to shoehorn in your key line about the sun coming through the cracks in the breeze, which is great imagery, but try to work it into your scheme already established in the opening stanzas.

Best lines for me were:

"You gotta be a portrait

If you want to be seen"

"When will you earn

A night not spent alone"

Keep after it, man. Nice to read your contributions.

[Tony Baloni]

Thanks for the comment man, I appreciate it. I know it sounds choppy now, but if you heard the music for it, it would make more sense.