murdocking Posted December 10, 2007 Report Share Posted December 10, 2007 He calls his midnight by its name He wants it so, he won’t feel pain He’s crying on the inside, he’s ashamed. He’s begging in the corner of her eyes It makes me wonder if its lies That brings him coming back for more. Tonight there lays a secret meant for two He needs to know he needs a clue For what is hiding at the end He finds it hard to find her in the crowd He shouts her name, he shouts it loud But he’s defenceless in the end. Now if you think he’s crying for the patients Who all died of complications Of their hearts in operations You’d be wrong He’s crying because they beat his expectations She survived past explanations And arrived with medications Congratulations ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ well yeah, thats a song that i wrote, i also wrote a chorus for it but didnt post it bcuz it didnt really fit well with the rest of it. but yeah. well anyway if u dont like it just say so, you learn from criticism Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna Posted December 10, 2007 Report Share Posted December 10, 2007 I really really love the first two verses. I love the unique way you use words... This is a very important trait in a songwriter - to find new ways of saying something. The third verse threw me. It doesn't seem to go with the rest somehow, it seems sort of like it was thrown in at the last minute to fill space... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murdocking Posted December 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2007 well thanks alot , yeah i mean i didnt put as much effort in the third verse as i did in the first 2, i mean for the first verse i was playing around with it for like a month or more lol! but yeah thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Ry 71 Posted December 11, 2007 Report Share Posted December 11, 2007 Say, has anybody said hello to you yet? If not, welcome to SongFacts murdocking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murdocking Posted December 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2007 thanks. i had a welcome when i first joined like a week ago or something. but yeah thanks anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted December 12, 2007 Report Share Posted December 12, 2007 Another welcome, if I may. Very nice writing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted December 12, 2007 Report Share Posted December 12, 2007 Your conversational " .. but, yeah .." and ".. well, yeah .." fills my mind with my youngest daughter's voice, who I very much miss seeing and touching. Thanks for that visit! You do have talent for putting words together, Diego. Stay with it and you will speak to a lot of people. Just be sure of your messages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murdocking Posted December 13, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2007 thanks everybody:D i really apprectiate everything you guys have said, it was nice meeting all of you guys, and yeah its good i didnt decide to smarten up the language i use . oh and also about the writing, i think this is one of my best, so if i post some other song or something dont expect it to be as good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted December 13, 2007 Report Share Posted December 13, 2007 I am sure your "best" is still way down inside of you. Getting it to come out is the purpose of the journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murdocking Posted December 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2007 you use very wise words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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