DiggsUK
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Posts posted by DiggsUK
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Or alternatively (but with a serious side, as are most of Mr Dury's compositions):
Poo Poo in the Prawn:
I took a sudden notion
To go down to the ocean
I'd got my sun-tan lotion
My flippers and my mask
In proper distribution
Of fully-formed ablutions
Formed an ocean of pollution
In which I daredn't bask
Some turds were teeny-tiny
And some were big and shiny
But they all fucked up the briney
In which I dipped my toe
If you go swimming in the shite-us
You'll get worse than dermititis
From the sea of grey detritus
Where the sewage ebbs and flows
There's no respite
From the cess-pit
No shelter from the pong
The poor old ocean
Is full of motions
Where the hell did we go wrong?
Like a lamb off to the slaughter
Pored myself a glass of water
I failed to spot I'd caught a
Little creature in my cup
I was well and truly bolleaux-ed
From the fires of hell that followed
Twas the cup of life I'd swallowed
And it almost did me up
Something coming
Through the plumbing
That should not be there at all
The glass is brimming
And things are swimming
And quite frankly, I'm appalled
I was a very hungry fella
I defrosted my paella
Came down with Salmonella
Three weeks intensive care
They failed to send technicians in
To check the air-conditioning
Which was unfortunately transmissioning
A case of Legionnaires
There's a malaise
In the mayonnaise
There's a poo-poo in the prawn
Where we missed them
In the system
Little germs are being born
There's no respite
From the cess-pit
There's no shelter from the pong
Where the hell did we go wrong?
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Or alternatively, by the Goodies:
Come on everybody
It's gibbon time
We're the Goodies
How do you do?
We've just been down to the zoo
We saw a monkey in a cage
Doing a dance
That could be the rage
It's not hard
So let's all do the funky gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo
Do, do, do the funky gibbon
(The funky gibbon)
We are here to show you how
Ooo, ooo, ooo
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
He's just like you
So come on and do
The funky gibbon now
Dogs are always howlin'
Cats are always yowlin'
But gibbons only
Like to sing and dance
Oop, oop, sh boop
You'll be like that monkey
Get a little funky
And in a while
Start to smile
Gibbon half a chance
Do, do, do the funky gibbon
(The funky gibbon)
We are here to show you how
Ooo, ooo, ooo
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
(The funky gibbon)
He's just like you
So come on and do
The funky gibbon now
Ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo the funky gibbon
Gee, the world would be good
I
??Me, with just a little gibbon tea
Sha, la, la
We slap that gibbon
Oh, feel the rhythm
And you'll groove
And dance up to the planet of apes
Do, do, do the funky gibbon
We are here to show you how
Ooo, ooo, ooo
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
(The funky gibbon)
He's just like you
So come on and do
The funky gibbon now
Ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo the funky gibbon
Ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo the funky gibbon
Now everybody get ready
To do the funky gibbon
Drop one arms down by your knees
And the other arm
Reach up to the trees
Let your wrist go limp
Like a bent baboon
Get ready to sing
This gibbon's tune
Will you give me an ooo
(Ooo)
Will you give me another ooo
(Ooo)
And will you give me an ooo
(Ooo)
Now put 'em together
What've you got
(Ooo, ooo, ooo)
Do, do, do the funky gibbon
We are here to show you how
Ooo, ooo, ooo
Ooo, ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
(The funky gibbon)
He's just like you
So come on and do
The funky gibbon now
Ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo the funky gibbon
Ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo the funky gibbon
He promised to buy me
A bunch of blue gibbons
To tie up my bonny brown
Ooo, ooo, the funky gibbon
The funky gibbon
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BF, I know what you mean. I drive late at night quite a lot, and his eclectic blend of good stuff and shite used to keep me going.
More voiceover work for Tom Baker though...
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What are you saying about or glorious school system, envy of the world and producer of some of the finest brains this planet has ever known?
Now, pass me that paddle and butt plug, boy!
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Have you considered the moral aspect to Freemasonry? Is it right in a so called free society to seek advancement by 'backscratching', irrespective of the personal merits and morals of the owner of the back? Also, consider that it may lead to you being obliged to turn a blind eye to things illegal...
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You never see KD Lang and Sean Penn in the same room...
Any votes for Cybil Shepherd, all you lovers of the mature form?
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I once crushed a velvet sofa...
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I was thinking about Nadia, the buxom big sister...
mmmm, Nadia (in my best Homer Simpson)
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Joe, you too have wonderful taste in women.
Mark, have you seen the elder sister? If you like your ladies with personality and cuddle-muscle she is an exceptional piece of well-plumped skirt....
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I still have a crush on Helen Mirren - and she's probably collecting her bus-pass as we speak...
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To assist, angels dance on pinheads to Prefab Sprout...
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'Holidays In The Sun' - Sex Pistols
'Bad Boy' - Addicts
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'Doohan the Do'
(ask an Aussie - lol!)
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Are the Chemical Brothers the new Hawkwind?
Do people really pay their Council Tax to allow BF to spend so much worktime at his pc?
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Das, If I had a clue what I was talking about, I probably would.. lol
It is true indeed that history is written by the victors. I wonder what a book written from the perspective of the whupped would be like? Would it even be recognisable despite it being equally truthful?
My take on the American War of Independence is pretty accurate though, I reckon. Won't make me many friends though... lol
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Batman, to assist you in this potted history:
Before what was probably more accurately described as a minor civil war in a small portion of what is now known as the USA, certain parts of the continent were under the very loose rule of a mad German named George, who knew nothing of and cared even less about the colonies. He was far more interested in eating pies and India.
As an aside, it is a fair bet that if guns hadn't have been invented, the Europeans would still have usurped the native Americans, just slower via smallpox, alcohol and Europop...
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Gisela, even though you and I come from opposite sides of the wire as such, I do think that we could make a wonderful contribution to world peace... alright, a small one... ok, not much of one at all but it'd be fun to try...
We do seem to be alone here in thinking that a little understanding of persons other than the US/Israel faction in the middle east could go a long way to solving current problems. I don't mean that in an arrogant way either, just as an observation from one who holds an unfasionable point of view...
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The tone of this thread is getting increasingly hard to swallow...
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Is that because a plomb bomb is for the easily lead?
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It is like a lert if the lert is tied to a piece of string...
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You choose to miss my point with aplomb and I think aplomb should always be applauded!
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Aye, it was rumoured that the blond, handsome Mr Chapman got carried away and she fell on the bedside table... Sad really - he seemed a decent bloke, plus those goal celebrations were stuff of legend...
You are correct - wrong Ash. Leslie is indeed the pouting one...
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As in 'down the back alley with Phil Daniels...' Debbie Ash?
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My second one... hmmmm...
I know - In To The Valley - Skids
??
Marc's Wisdom Hut
in Random Thoughts
Posted
'Never trust a hippie' - John Lydon
'Never trust a man in a suit' - Neil (hippie)